30 Dec 2010

Drunken roam and my vague recollections of it with some back seat FC and lolfits.

The Gang
I have to admit, that this particular blog is based on a rather hazy memory: please see the previous post to understand the special circumstances of this operation.

After eating and drinking to excess during the festive period it was time to go for a roam and while I wanted to link into the fleet early, real life events had prevented me from achieving this so I finally found myself in fleet comms only 90 minutes before showdown.

The fleet was a 'nice' mix and it was a pleasure to see some new faces along with the old. It was an open invite to anyone and not just limited to The Bastards and their close associates.

Flashfresh - drinking disarano & coke and flying omni-tanked rupture.
TheHermit - drinking Baileys, Vodka and Budweiser and flying an armour tanking blackbird)
Leroxee - drinking Vodka and Coke.
Lord B -
TFS Tibbs (armour tanked bellicose)
Red Vegas -
Mike Azariah (slasher or blackbird then bestower)
Shizraak - drinking sherry and brandy
Max Ursa - drinking crabbies, vodka and coke
Mei Kholov - drinking coffee & baileys
Crefakis - drinking CHAMPAGNE, (in a logistics moa)
Dil'e Mahn - drinking Hertogjan (in the smartbombing tristan)
Commander Mordecai
Finheri - drinking Cherry lambrini

The undock...
The fleet was an eclectic mix of ships including: an armour tanking blackbird (TheHermit), a smart-bombing Tristan (Dil'e Mahn), an omni-tanked, small hybrid blaster equipped Rupture (Me), an armour tanked, stabbed bellicose (TFS Tibbs), a lazor celestis and a logistics moa (Crefakis) and other ships. If people could send in their EFT fits for the ships they flew during the evening; please do so and I will alter the post appropriately. Just remember: whatever goes onto the internet, stays around forever.

Leroxee: pee where you stand

The horrid fleet undocked and roared through low-sec, drinking one shot each time we successfully jumped gates. After all, what was the point of a drunken roam if one didn't make up as many excuses as possible to drink alcohol?

Missed target?
The first viable target we tried to tackle was a Jaguar class assault frigate who was sitting apparently motionless at a gate. We naturally tried to tackle it and the fail fleet failed to cause any significant shield damage before he jumped back through. I think if was either Cref or Finheri who made the initial tackle but even at this early stage, it was difficult to concentrate. We lost one  ship to the gate guns due to our (in)actions. I think it was Mike in his 'special' blackbird. No matter, taking another shot of alcohol we simply told the ship-less pilots to grab anything they could and to join us when able. This was when Mike Azariah, who was one of our more law-abiding pilots (he had a positive sec status!) who sportingly went about acquiring a GCC (gate gun tanking blackbird for the win) and then docked up to get any ship to continue the drunken roam. He ended up flying a bestower with no weapons. He was the ultimate bait ship and he couldn't even fire back. We saluted Mike Azariah for his balls though I reckon Mike Azariah probably would have settled for anything that could shoot back. I felt his pain.

Drunk people crossing...
So with no kills to our name and two losses, we settled on the TXW-EI gate - entry point into Syndicate space and null-sec goodness. With only one scout, we jumped in - and found no-one. Not deterred and drinking another shot since we had successfully activated a gate, we moved on pushing Mike Azariah and his lozenge shaped Bestower ahead of us as bait.

As we were travelling, a few of the fleet were asking for ammunition - it appeared a few of us had no ammunition whatsoever! So, I had a bright idea: we would hunt the local pirates for ammunition as well as hopefully obtaining some gun for Mike Azariah's bestower. So yes, the feared pirates (most too drunk to care) started ratting with abandon in Syndicate. I bravely gave the order to go ratting, no-one under my fleet had heard in a very long time. I slurred primary and secondary targets:

"Primary is the rear admiral and secondary is.....the rear admiral".

I heard 'POINT on Serpentis Core Admiral!' and knew that this was an elite and kick-ass fleet. Quality target calling by me, right there. We were set for the night and settled in.

Dil'e Mahn: "let's join a pirate roam", I thought, "it'll be a nice difference from the usual carebearing", I thought..Now they get me ratting.

TheHermit, fearing that his treasured negative security status (hovering around -9.983) would be affected jumped into the next system (5-FGQJ) to avoid any CONCORD sanctioned security status gains.

TheHermit: runing my sec status by ratting :(

TheHermit *did* start mining though. That dirty boy. Spelling mistake above is left from original conversation logs...

There was a cry and we jumped around, scanning local and the d-scanner: it was Shizraak and he had lost his ship. Local was all blue so what was going on? He had warped to a belt and lost his gatling laser slasher to one of the local rats who with one-shot, took out his ship. We all laughed. The idea was to lose ships to other pod pilots not the dumb locals. Here's the convo pulled up from the pod logs:

Shizraak: belt1 3 frigs and a bs!


Shizraak: lol
Shizraak: jst killed me
Shizraak: its the top belt
Warflower: LOL
Shizraak: yeh
Dil'e Mahn: lol
Crefakis: \o/
Leroxee: rofl
Shizraak: 1 shot lol
Warflower: GESUS!
Finheri: PMSL
TheHermit: lmao, epic
Dil'e Mahn: loot his ship, there's mods in there!!!
commander mordecai: someoe keep this logged :p
Warflower: Shizraak just made my night lol
TheHermit: yep
Leroxee: shiz, take a drink
Shizraak : doesnt evry1 for a lost ship lol?

However, once we had sufficient ships we moved on, TheHermit had spotted some potential targets, after some gate bouncing we located a loki! With a roar of drunkenness we engaged the loki. One loki became two (initially we thought we were seeing double) and then the loki was joined by others - lots of others. More targets for us but our failfit ships were well, failing.

We battered ourselves senseless against the loki before I belated switch to .....the rifter. Which we killed. TheHermit was unfortunately set as primary and went down hard, though he was armour tanked and had no ECM to save him. After killing the rifter, I exploded as I got hammered to scrap by 13 ships. I hope the victors enjoyed my killmail: the omni-tank rupture of doom.

we go boom...
We all had to take one shot per downed ship and there was plenty to quaff. I actually felt sick drinking the seven to eight shots saluting the lost ships. We also lost 3 pods (including mine) which was swiftly grabbed by a third party and then passed over to our resident body collector: TheHermit. Yes, TheHermit has my body, Leroxees and Crefakis (from The Gentleman of Low Moral Fibre) - I shudder to think what this deviant has in mind: probably some voodoo magic?

I whipped the pod home and decided that it was time for another hilarious fail fit as the drunken roam had to continue and I went back to an older Bastards roam: the oversized clip & carbine roam. So I plumbed the archives and fitted a dual-180mm auto canon to the rifter hull. Jury rigging extra girders and supports onto the front of the rifter. This was comedy gold and we rushed back into Syndicate.

Leroxee: i now have a heavy missile, an assault missile and a 75 mm gun on my BB

In X-BV98, we managed to grab a merlin whipping past us. We were actually focused on blasting the nasty warp disruption bubbles but had to get this shifty frigate. Interestingly, we caught the frigate and even I managed to fire off a couple of volleys. I think the rifter went backwards from the recoil! We podded the pilot too. Am unsure when we lost Mike and his 'lozenge' but well, we did. He was on his way home but stayed on in the communication channel until high-sec swallowed him up.

One more beer...
Meanwhile, Max Ursa was on his way back to us - after losing a ship and fair play to him, he took a shot on his entire journey to us. About 30 jumps, so 30 shots or sips of his alcoholic beverage of choice. Either way, respect to the man who re-joined us a bit worse for wear.

We continued into PF-346 and saw lots of bubbles and due to our alcoholic haze, we were suddenly enraged by the sight of these ugly shimmering things and proceeded to destroy them.

Dil'e Mahn: how many hitpoints do these mobile warp disruptors have? I'm in a AB fit so I might just fly up to it and bomb it to hell =]
Shizraak: a large has 40k shield and a shit toen more struct
Dil'e Mahn: well shit.
Shizraak: a small is 2.5k and 7.5k
Dil'e Mahn : I'm doing about 25DPS or something..

Suddenly my alarms went off and a tempest dropped out of warp. I quickly ordered another shot for everyone and vainly started to chase the tempest, sitting comfortably at 200 Km away. Of course, the alcohol made us feel that things were a lot faster so we did the Benny Hill and didn't get the tempest but he did pop my rifter. Serves me right for forgetting to orbit.

So we went back (drinking one shot per gate jump) and I ended up in a combat hoarder. Yes, decided to fit a gun to a hoarder and went right back out again. If Mike could do it, why can't I? We once again, found ourselves in Syndicate space and we were being shadowed by a flycatcher. We knew what was going to happen but I pushed my hoarder towards the interdictor and opened up with my peashooter. As if on cue, it fired off a disruption sphere and prevented anyone from warping out. No matter - we unloaded (as best as we could) onto the flycatcher and amazingly, managed to kill it. Check out Red Vegas in his noob ship, my combat hoarder and TheHermit in his Ibis of doom. Even more amazing, Dil'e Mahn firmly pointed an ejected canister instead of the flycatcher. That can wasn't leaving the scene, oh no.

Proof: Dil'e Mahn:  I do know that in that rumble where we killed the flycatcher I was at some point firmly pointing a can...

However, it wasn't one-sided. The flycatcher was there to hold us (as if we were going to run?) and they dropped the hammer on us: hurricanes, drakes and others.

Just a nice picture of drunken woman - nothing to do with the
Our ibis went first, reaper went second, then Tibbs in his armour tanking Bellicose, I blew up in fourth place - the other fleet members also blew up and with the amount of alcohol sloshing around the pod, the explosions were spectacular!

Of course, being pirates - they were a wee bit surprised that I was in a hoarder and quickly got an evemail.

Reference: just killed you

Sent: 2010.12.29 00:53
To: flashfresh,  
in a very crappy hoarder? wtf are you doing?
I decided to go home with the capsule wobbling along. 

Flash after his bio
OOC: I went upstairs for a bio, staggered into bed and fell asleep - drunk. My partner 'closed up shop for me'. I have no idea what was said by the remaining fleet mates who managed to coax my pod back into a station and she safely logged me out.

Of course, this drunken behaviour would definitely get noticed and so it was. A day later I got an letter with a some very distinctive looking graphics. It had KFC all over it. It smelt of fried chicken. 


From: Lady Shaniqua
Sent: 2010.12.29 23:08
To: flashfresh,  


This is an OFFICAL NOTICE OF PENALTY CHARGES,ur case has been reviewed and you have been found GUILTY of FLYING A SPACE BOAT UNDER INFLUENCE OF DRINKING, ALSO you have been found GUILTY of LEADING A FLEET UNDER INFLUENCE OF DRINKING. Due to your co-operation your fine has been reduced.
YOUR FINE NOW STANDS AT SEVENTY MILLION ISK. To be payed to a representative of Kenssy Fried Chicken Kru.



The post mortem of the roam was fun too; here's a snatch of it:

Dil'e Mahn: you got the same notice, hermit
Dil'e Mahn: oh
Dil'e Mahn: will that hurt?
TheHermit: lol so i did
Lady Shaniqua: Shizraak, TheHermit, Dil'e Mahn & flashfresh
Kane Rizzel: generally yes
Dil'e Mahn: was afraid so
flashfresh: Feck. What about ma kids officah? They gots to eat!
Dil'e Mahn: yeah, officer! I was only smartbombing a LITTLE bit
TheHermit: i cant afford those fines, im a lowly pirate
flashfresh: IT WAS THE A DEMON DRINK TALKING!!! OFFICAH Have mercy. It is ma first crime (self-incriminated)
Dil'e Mahn: I'm a tightwad carebear, so I'm not paying either
TheHermit: Oh Noes dirty cops found my Super Sekret hidout
Draco Dreadskull: lulz busted
flashfresh: We is busted!
Dil'e Mahn: you have NOTHING on me, cop! NOTHING!
Dil'e Mahn: I'm taking this up with your supperiorz.
flashfresh: Gonna speed dial Max Clifford.
Dil'e Mahn: as if I'd fall for that
Dil'e Mahn: they're in on this fillthy deal!
flashfresh: I only know Lady Shaniqua and will only deal with Officah Shaniqua
TheHermit: I will turn evidence against all my co conspirotors for a reduction of fines
Dil'e Mahn: ...
Dil'e Mahn: but... but... we FLEW together
TheHermit: /emote prepares his pointing finger
Dil'e Mahn: doesn't that count for ANYTHING anymore?
Dil'e Mahn: bleh, bloody pirates
flashfresh: Every man for himself!
Dil'e Mahn: I'm gonna run a L4 just to spite you
flashfresh: ..and I pointed first.
flashfresh: L4 - you horrible man.
TheHermit: mother told me you can alwqays trust a pirate.......
TheHermit: to be a pirate
Lady Shaniqua: THEHERMIT FLash already did that, THAT IS WHY YOU ARE FINED
Dil'e Mahn: says the guy who ratted with me
Dil'e Mahn: I have logs! I have proof!
TheHermit: damn my slow response time
TheHermit: /emote pulls teh vent recordings from teh night in question
flashfresh: Wait. You recorded the vent?
flashfresh: Feck.
TheHermit: lol
Dil'e Mahn: durn.
TheHermit: lmao it starts with calling primaries, of rats
flashfresh: ....yes....i remember.
flashfresh: seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dil'e Mahn: "primary is the rear admiral, secondary is the... rear admiral"
Dil'e Mahn: did we actually get guns from any of the rats, by the way?
flashfresh: That's quality target calling right there. I was on form.
Dil'e Mahn: ah, that must've been it then
Draco Dreadskull: sorry wut? someone recorded vent?
Shizraak: oh dear
flashfresh: Uh-huh.....
Dil'e Mahn: someone *claims* to have recorded vent
Dil'e Mahn: until the soundfiles have been made public and scrutinized and all that, it's just a claim
Dil'e Mahn: /emote holds on to that thought
Draco Dreadskull: uh oh
TheHermit: oh yes vent was recorded
Draco Dreadskull: i cant remember everything i said or did, i vaguely remember bombing in a thrasher
TheHermit: ill be uploading it later once i find some spare bandwidth
Draco Dreadskull: the gems
flashfresh: I don't think it will be that bad.....right?
TheHermit: its errrm.... entertaining
Dil'e Mahn: next thing you know someone's gonna be all happy and "oh look I've got it all frapsed" and suchlike
flashfresh: I bet.
Gorgoleon: hehe
Gorgoleon: fuck fuck fuck da police
TheHermit: my fraps died whilst recording
flashfresh: Gorgo - you would have been a fine addition to the crew; am sure you would have quaffed your volume in alcohol.
Draco Dreadskull: how fAR?
Gorgoleon: i was just shooting lady s  )
flashfresh: You might get a fine...
Dil'e Mahn: or violenced...
Dil'e Mahn: or, more likely, both.
Lady Shaniqua: lol
Lady Shaniqua: so your to scared to go comet + wolf v jag so you bring in a vaga and still fail
Gorgoleon: hehe
Gorgoleon: didnt bring him in, we were just talking on comms
Gorgoleon: nice fit though
Lady Shaniqua: shame i was up for v your comet and wolf
Gorgoleon: i was always gonna jump out though
Gorgoleon: nano wolf doesnt like scram :(
Gorgoleon: if u want 1vs1 just say in local - i honoured our last one
Lady Shaniqua: yeah and i would of got 30 secs on the comet before you got back in ofc THAT WA STHE PLAN :P
TheHermit: Good Night all, fly safe-ish
Dil'e Mahn: will do
Lady Shaniqua: o/
Dil'e Mahn: in fact, I'll log too, I have at least one day of work left this year
TheHermit: Dil'e ill get hold of you again in a couple of days talk through the HK stuff, Lady S, keep the Kriminals in order :p, Flash always a pleasure
Dil'e Mahn: and since crime doesn't pay according to some...

Nothing related to the roam either but awesome picture...

23 Dec 2010

Merry christmas and drunken roam coming up - open to those interested.

Christmas is a time when activity for some goes down as pilots from all professions emerge from the amniotic goo of their pods, blinking like new-born calves and head off home to family and friends. So, I just want to wish everyone a merry christmas and a happy new year.

Of course, this post isn't just me signing off but also to pass out an invite to any reader who would be interested in flying space ships, drunk with some pirates. Indeed, I believe we can call ourselves 'Santa Pirates' or 'Pirate Santas' or even, Pirating Santa as below:

Pirates grab Santa Claus

Anyway, this is an open invite to any reader who would like to relax and lose their sec status while getting drunk with The Bastards.

Details below:


Date: TUESDAY, 28 DEC 2010
Time: 21:15 EVE TIME
Form Up time: 20:15 EVE TIME
Location: Will be sent to those interested in due course...
Route: TBD - but all over the place no doubt...
Duration: Until we run out of ships or the FC collapses from too much alcohol

Aim: Crazily fitted T1 frigate/cruiser roam around low-sec and null-sec; it will end when we have no ships left in the fleet (or we fall off our chairs).

We are to have fun, drink and be merry. Emphasis on the drink and merry bit.
OMG Whiskey!

It will be the post christmas period where one will still be eating the leftover turkey / ham / goose. Most of us will be feeling the effects. What better way than to overcome this than to undock in a fleet of ships piloted by people who feel just as bloated, ill and still hungover?

Combining this with our love of music, the format will include desert island discs, albeit a slightly inebriated version. One can't see Libby Purves being pissed doing this can you on Radio 4? Well we are!

Everyone read the requirements carefully.


++FUN post-Christmas roam, no sad faces!!++

1. Join the in-game channel 'INDEPENDENCE' for details and fleet pick up on the day.
2. Any T1 frigate/cruiser fitted out with whatever you want.
3. Yes, fit a rupture with lasers if you want.
4. Or a thorax with arties and missiles.
5. Or a rifter with a cruiser sized weapon.
6. Or bring a Celestis.
7. Mix your weapon systems. Why? because we can and that's how we roll.
8. Points required of course, we can't have people running away.
Pirate force someone to drink to excess
9. We each drink a shot of spirits (or beer) every half hour during the roam and after each ship kill and after each ship loss and for every ransom.
10. Aim is to see who can stay up for the longest.
11. Music is required, so I want people to put together 8 (eight) tracks that they reckon are the dogs bollocks. An essential to everyone's collection. It is your desert island discs and you're drunk anyway, so pick what you want. We will try and play them on the night - so get your music onto a playlist in youtube or whatever.
12. Needs to be frapsed with some vent recordings as well.
13. If you decide to fit a stab (why not?) then you have to say 'STABBED!' in local, take a shot of alcohol and then RUN like the wuss you are when you get tackled. If you do this and get smack - everyone else will need to take a shot on your behalf.
14. Any other rules that the FC wants to make up...

Interested? Then contact us using the one of the following methods:

1. Post a comment here.
2. Contact me on flashfresh@the-bastards.com
3. Contact TheHermit on thehermit@the-bastards.com

4. Contact me or TheHermit ingame via conversation or evemail

Go on, it will be fun.

15 Dec 2010

LOL kill of a falcon in high-sec, on a gate. No-one is safe...

"Hey Flash, there's what looks life an AFK Falcon just sitting on the gate." Observed TheHermit. The Bastards had gathered together from our various travels and we were debating what to do. A falcon, sitting on a gate in high-sec all on its own?

Additionally, there was an obelisk sitting there as well. Both ships hung motionless about 12-13km from the gate into the Stacmon system.

Since the system was high-sec we had little chance to get into the system and ransom his ship but a quick, cheeky kill perhaps?

We quickly formed a plan: destroyers would be the ship of choice due to their low cost, high alpha and speed and we had about 11 pirates all ready to go. We were already roaming around killing and (trying) ransoming people but this was too good an opportunity to pass. We parked one of our cloaked scouts close to the falcon and kept an eye on him. The scout reported back that the falcon was not aligned, had zero velocity and there was no communication activity in local or otherwise.

The destroyers were quickly assembled, loaded up with enough ammunition for three volleys - any more and CONCORD would be on your ass and you would be jammed, neuted and killed so no need for more ammunition. The pilots then all raced to their pods and once inserted into the destroyers, signalled their readiness with docking clamps disengaged and their jostling for the exit point.

So, our scout reported that the falcon was still there and with a countdown - we undocked into high security space. Warning signs flashed up demanding that we leave the system due our criminal status but we politely dismissed them and sped our way to the hidden scout. We had to be fast, so soon as we dropped out of warp, we would lock the falcon and volley it before CONCORD drops on us. At most we would have two maybe three seconds to kill the ship. Hence, we needed numbers. Getting the pod killed would be a bonus too.

The ships computer counted down the range and I mentally readied myself as I have less than seven seconds left before dropping warp.

Six seconds. I pre-activated all my guns.

Five seconds. I overloaded the entire rack of guns.

Four seconds. I switched my overview to one that had ships only.

Three seconds. I hit the scanner to make sure that the target was still present.

Two seconds. I started to grin.

One second. My grin got bigger.

All 12 destroyers dropped out of warp and we all locked and volleyed the falcon. A dozen voices overlaid themselves across our communication net.

"Hermit has point. Firing."

"Selendris has point. Firing."

"Red Vegas is firing."  Etc.

A mix of small artillery and blasters spat out a devastating volley of destructive ordnance. My overview exploded with CONCORD ships appearing on top of us. On the overview, the falcon dipped into armour and before I could observe any further - I was jammed and then violently separated from my ship. CONCORD's superior weapons wiping out our entire party.

The falcon was down however! We cheered especially when we saw the drop - more than enough to pay for our destroyed fleet and then some; though it was sad to lose the sisters probe launcher. Now, most people would be unimpressed with the kill - he was obviously AFK and therefore couldn't defend himself but keep in mind that everyone in our party was -5.0 or lower in terms of security status and we were in high-security space; thus faction police would be trying their hardest to scramble, web and then kill us just for travelling through their space in anything but a pod. Any hostile action from us would automatically bring down CONCORD on our heads. Finally, we were shooting the falcon under sentry guns as well. All in the thin-hulled destroyer class vessel.

Naughty Spawn, held his fire and went for the pod instead and he successfully smashed the pod before he too was destroyed by CONCORD. Naughty Spawn especially enjoys the squishing sound of pilot capsules rupturing and the amniotic fluid flash freezing in space.

Sometimes, people just don't pay enough attention and pay for it. Now, if only we had a fleet 20 times the size of our rag-tag destroyer fleet we would have then gone for the obelisk! Could 320 destroyers alpha an obelisk? I need a channel where I can call upon pilots to do just that.

The fun continued however: someone took offence at having criminals in their space. A pilot called 'Ydnari' came out in an area and managed to pinch Red Vegas on his way out. On returning we noticed that the 'Yndari' was now in a vexor and blocking up the undock point of the high-sec station that were racing towards.

We decided to take revenge and undocked en masse and kill the vigilante pilot, high-sec or not, we wanted his loot.

So we did.

High security space is 'safer' space. Not safe space.

8 Dec 2010

Don't go for a pee in the middle of an op!!

Another fun night with The Bastards; we've been running around Placid recently especially around the constellations around the 'Pain' solar system (yes, Pain - as in 'PAINFUL') - it is, to many people's surprise our headquarters. In the dark and distant past The Bastards corporation was started here and it is fun to come back. Don't get me started on what I discovered in the corp hangars when I finally gained access!

However, the roam we had (all battle cruisers) didn't work out quite as I expected: the first engagement was with some Gallente Militia pilots; they came in a variety of ships and landed on our out gate as the fleet rumbled towards our target system. I was moving ahead of the main fleet, one behind my scout and had a secondary FC in place to take care of things. Unfortunately, when the firing started, I didn't hear my number two initiate any target calling. There were some nervous coughs as The Bastards came under fire but no shouting or panic. I was still in warp but getting increasingly concerned. I asked for an update but the responses were sporadic and then our losses started. I finally dropped warp and demanded to know what was going on. We were now losing ships but someone else stepped in and started calling targets but it was clear the battle had turned decidedly against us. 

Once we had regrouped it appeared that our secondary FC WAS shouting like a maniac but his vent client had packed up at the most unfortunate time. 

These things happen and I should have stayed closer to the fleet. 

After this excitement, I excused myself for a pee (yes, even in a pod, one needs a bit of privacy to complete one's ablutions...) - when I came back; a mere two minutes - we had lost two more ships!!

I thought they were joking but no, it was true and it appeared that two of the surviving ships had tried to rendezvous with the rest of the fleet and got caught by some fast point tackler on a gate. The joys of low sec space and being red and flashy.

I will try and hold in the pee for the duration of the roam from now on...

Interdict, who as ill and couldn't make the roam has been knocking out new forum signatures and I am the proud owner of a new sig.

Sorry that was a quick update but am already planning for ops and roams throughout the christmas period. 

2 Dec 2010

Incursion, Ransoms, Haikus and Explosions

TFS Tibbs
Our Ransom Guru
The last post had my explaining to everyone that The Bastards have decided to increase our efforts in the ransoming department of our 'work'. Not to steal his thunder, I want to thank TFS Tibbs for organising this.

Ransomania - Stop the killing – make cash not war by TFS Tibbs

What: Ransomania - during the event contestants vie with each other to see who can ransom the most ships and capsules within a given timespan.
Who: Bastards only
When: Event will run from Tuesday 23rd November until Wednesday 22nd December
Where: Everywhere
Why: Ransoms are cool
How: See below

Ransom everything that moves for one month
Results will be taken from the Bastards Ransom Board
Haikus – valued at estimated price of ship + fittings – or estimated implant value based on character age for capsules
All ransom attempts must use the Yarrsom Channel if possible
All prizes will be awarded after the event has finished

Pilot involved in the most ransoms:
First - 400m + shiny winners medal
Second - 200m
Third - Faction Frigate of choice

Highest ransom – Ransom will be matched – double your money:
Most ship ejections - 100m
Most solo ransoms - 100m
Most Haikus - 100m
Best Haiku – Mystery prize

Most ships lost by A Bastard during ransom attempts: 
First – 3 ships replaced
Second – 2 ships replaced
Third – 1 Ship replaced

Early Starter Dramiels:
First ship ejection - Dramiel
First solo ransom - Dramiel
First Haiku - Dramiel

Additional Prizes:
(JManZA) 1st person to solo ransom a ship 2 hull classes above the one being piloted - ie ransom a BC in a Frigate class ship - Pirate cruiser of your choice
(Viginti) First Singing Ransom - 100 mil plus a T2 fit BC of choice (fitting as well) must sing more than just chorus. Here is the song -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU
(z0de) The 'can you make z0de laugh' challenge - 50m
(Arrhidaeus) Most unreasonable ransomee - TBC

The ransom story so far...
We've had some prizes go already (mainly the Dramiels) and the it has been a hoot. However, our KB also tells us that there are plenty of people out there who are not playing the game and would prefer to shoot it out for us. Which is fair enough - while we're not elite PvPers; we usually bring enough firepower to reduce most ships we tackle to cinder.

Incursion into my realm?

Now it was with some surprise that I found my pod interface was upgraded since my last post. I have to say that I do like it. The subtle changes to the module icons is a nice touch too.

Of course, what type of post would this be without some form of boat violence? We've been very active and busy the last couple of weeks and over a much larger area. With the promotion of TheHermit as a Director at The Bastards, (since Raelyf was stepping down due to work life commitments) - it was decided that expanding our area of interest was in order and Hermit (with a jump clone) investigated and then relocated to Placid. Other pirates followed suit with other pirates setting up satellite offices in Amarr space, Syndicate and others. I always wanted 'chapters' in all areas of space and with excellent pirate food such as this rattlesnake, fun fights such as this one and ransoms such as this delicious one; the current area seems like a viable choice though I have been told that there is another area...will keep you all posted.

Pirates like us have to move as prey will not come over to us (how unsporting!) so we're roaming around further and it is good.

Hulkageddon IV
Yes, Helicity Boson of Python Cartel has started to make arrangements for the fourth instalment and as ever, The Bastards will be attending. We did very well in the last three tournaments: In the third tournament for example, we came in the top five in single player kills with 2nd, 3rd and 4th place respectively for Hermit, Leroxee & Tibbs and coming fourth in the overall corporation rankings. This achievement is even more remarkable considering our rivals (our friends really) are mostly all alliances (e.g. TEST Alliance Please, 0rphanage, B A N E, Hydra Reloaded etc)  and we're just a small corporation slipping in between the footsteps of these giant alliances.

Am keen to do better so am willing to listen to ideas from readers and importantly to take in donations of ships and isk to fund our cause. Remember, The Bastards live off the proceeds of piracy, we don't have renters, POS moon-goo, a piece of null-sec to rat in (what?), rich sugar daddies, etc. We try to maintain ourselves from ransoms, ransoms, ransoms, some extortions, outright theft and loot drops from ship explosions.

If someone donates a ship for HK IV to The Bastards; we will have your name on the ship and dedicate the exhumer kill to the pilot donating the ship. We might even leave a can with a message just from you to the unfortunate miner. Go on, you know you all want to!