30 Dec 2010

Drunken roam and my vague recollections of it with some back seat FC and lolfits.

The Gang
I have to admit, that this particular blog is based on a rather hazy memory: please see the previous post to understand the special circumstances of this operation.

After eating and drinking to excess during the festive period it was time to go for a roam and while I wanted to link into the fleet early, real life events had prevented me from achieving this so I finally found myself in fleet comms only 90 minutes before showdown.

The fleet was a 'nice' mix and it was a pleasure to see some new faces along with the old. It was an open invite to anyone and not just limited to The Bastards and their close associates.

Flashfresh - drinking disarano & coke and flying omni-tanked rupture.
TheHermit - drinking Baileys, Vodka and Budweiser and flying an armour tanking blackbird)
Leroxee - drinking Vodka and Coke.
Lord B -
TFS Tibbs (armour tanked bellicose)
Red Vegas -
Mike Azariah (slasher or blackbird then bestower)
Shizraak - drinking sherry and brandy
Max Ursa - drinking crabbies, vodka and coke
Mei Kholov - drinking coffee & baileys
Crefakis - drinking CHAMPAGNE, (in a logistics moa)
Dil'e Mahn - drinking Hertogjan (in the smartbombing tristan)
Commander Mordecai
Finheri - drinking Cherry lambrini

The undock...
The fleet was an eclectic mix of ships including: an armour tanking blackbird (TheHermit), a smart-bombing Tristan (Dil'e Mahn), an omni-tanked, small hybrid blaster equipped Rupture (Me), an armour tanked, stabbed bellicose (TFS Tibbs), a lazor celestis and a logistics moa (Crefakis) and other ships. If people could send in their EFT fits for the ships they flew during the evening; please do so and I will alter the post appropriately. Just remember: whatever goes onto the internet, stays around forever.

Leroxee: pee where you stand

The horrid fleet undocked and roared through low-sec, drinking one shot each time we successfully jumped gates. After all, what was the point of a drunken roam if one didn't make up as many excuses as possible to drink alcohol?

Missed target?
The first viable target we tried to tackle was a Jaguar class assault frigate who was sitting apparently motionless at a gate. We naturally tried to tackle it and the fail fleet failed to cause any significant shield damage before he jumped back through. I think if was either Cref or Finheri who made the initial tackle but even at this early stage, it was difficult to concentrate. We lost one  ship to the gate guns due to our (in)actions. I think it was Mike in his 'special' blackbird. No matter, taking another shot of alcohol we simply told the ship-less pilots to grab anything they could and to join us when able. This was when Mike Azariah, who was one of our more law-abiding pilots (he had a positive sec status!) who sportingly went about acquiring a GCC (gate gun tanking blackbird for the win) and then docked up to get any ship to continue the drunken roam. He ended up flying a bestower with no weapons. He was the ultimate bait ship and he couldn't even fire back. We saluted Mike Azariah for his balls though I reckon Mike Azariah probably would have settled for anything that could shoot back. I felt his pain.

Drunk people crossing...
So with no kills to our name and two losses, we settled on the TXW-EI gate - entry point into Syndicate space and null-sec goodness. With only one scout, we jumped in - and found no-one. Not deterred and drinking another shot since we had successfully activated a gate, we moved on pushing Mike Azariah and his lozenge shaped Bestower ahead of us as bait.

As we were travelling, a few of the fleet were asking for ammunition - it appeared a few of us had no ammunition whatsoever! So, I had a bright idea: we would hunt the local pirates for ammunition as well as hopefully obtaining some gun for Mike Azariah's bestower. So yes, the feared pirates (most too drunk to care) started ratting with abandon in Syndicate. I bravely gave the order to go ratting, no-one under my fleet had heard in a very long time. I slurred primary and secondary targets:

"Primary is the rear admiral and secondary is.....the rear admiral".

I heard 'POINT on Serpentis Core Admiral!' and knew that this was an elite and kick-ass fleet. Quality target calling by me, right there. We were set for the night and settled in.

Dil'e Mahn: "let's join a pirate roam", I thought, "it'll be a nice difference from the usual carebearing", I thought..Now they get me ratting.

TheHermit, fearing that his treasured negative security status (hovering around -9.983) would be affected jumped into the next system (5-FGQJ) to avoid any CONCORD sanctioned security status gains.

TheHermit: runing my sec status by ratting :(

TheHermit *did* start mining though. That dirty boy. Spelling mistake above is left from original conversation logs...

There was a cry and we jumped around, scanning local and the d-scanner: it was Shizraak and he had lost his ship. Local was all blue so what was going on? He had warped to a belt and lost his gatling laser slasher to one of the local rats who with one-shot, took out his ship. We all laughed. The idea was to lose ships to other pod pilots not the dumb locals. Here's the convo pulled up from the pod logs:

Shizraak: belt1 3 frigs and a bs!


Shizraak: lol
Shizraak: jst killed me
Shizraak: its the top belt
Warflower: LOL
Shizraak: yeh
Dil'e Mahn: lol
Crefakis: \o/
Leroxee: rofl
Shizraak: 1 shot lol
Warflower: GESUS!
Finheri: PMSL
TheHermit: lmao, epic
Dil'e Mahn: loot his ship, there's mods in there!!!
commander mordecai: someoe keep this logged :p
Warflower: Shizraak just made my night lol
TheHermit: yep
Leroxee: shiz, take a drink
Shizraak : doesnt evry1 for a lost ship lol?

However, once we had sufficient ships we moved on, TheHermit had spotted some potential targets, after some gate bouncing we located a loki! With a roar of drunkenness we engaged the loki. One loki became two (initially we thought we were seeing double) and then the loki was joined by others - lots of others. More targets for us but our failfit ships were well, failing.

We battered ourselves senseless against the loki before I belated switch to .....the rifter. Which we killed. TheHermit was unfortunately set as primary and went down hard, though he was armour tanked and had no ECM to save him. After killing the rifter, I exploded as I got hammered to scrap by 13 ships. I hope the victors enjoyed my killmail: the omni-tank rupture of doom.

we go boom...
We all had to take one shot per downed ship and there was plenty to quaff. I actually felt sick drinking the seven to eight shots saluting the lost ships. We also lost 3 pods (including mine) which was swiftly grabbed by a third party and then passed over to our resident body collector: TheHermit. Yes, TheHermit has my body, Leroxees and Crefakis (from The Gentleman of Low Moral Fibre) - I shudder to think what this deviant has in mind: probably some voodoo magic?

I whipped the pod home and decided that it was time for another hilarious fail fit as the drunken roam had to continue and I went back to an older Bastards roam: the oversized clip & carbine roam. So I plumbed the archives and fitted a dual-180mm auto canon to the rifter hull. Jury rigging extra girders and supports onto the front of the rifter. This was comedy gold and we rushed back into Syndicate.

Leroxee: i now have a heavy missile, an assault missile and a 75 mm gun on my BB

In X-BV98, we managed to grab a merlin whipping past us. We were actually focused on blasting the nasty warp disruption bubbles but had to get this shifty frigate. Interestingly, we caught the frigate and even I managed to fire off a couple of volleys. I think the rifter went backwards from the recoil! We podded the pilot too. Am unsure when we lost Mike and his 'lozenge' but well, we did. He was on his way home but stayed on in the communication channel until high-sec swallowed him up.

One more beer...
Meanwhile, Max Ursa was on his way back to us - after losing a ship and fair play to him, he took a shot on his entire journey to us. About 30 jumps, so 30 shots or sips of his alcoholic beverage of choice. Either way, respect to the man who re-joined us a bit worse for wear.

We continued into PF-346 and saw lots of bubbles and due to our alcoholic haze, we were suddenly enraged by the sight of these ugly shimmering things and proceeded to destroy them.

Dil'e Mahn: how many hitpoints do these mobile warp disruptors have? I'm in a AB fit so I might just fly up to it and bomb it to hell =]
Shizraak: a large has 40k shield and a shit toen more struct
Dil'e Mahn: well shit.
Shizraak: a small is 2.5k and 7.5k
Dil'e Mahn : I'm doing about 25DPS or something..

Suddenly my alarms went off and a tempest dropped out of warp. I quickly ordered another shot for everyone and vainly started to chase the tempest, sitting comfortably at 200 Km away. Of course, the alcohol made us feel that things were a lot faster so we did the Benny Hill and didn't get the tempest but he did pop my rifter. Serves me right for forgetting to orbit.

So we went back (drinking one shot per gate jump) and I ended up in a combat hoarder. Yes, decided to fit a gun to a hoarder and went right back out again. If Mike could do it, why can't I? We once again, found ourselves in Syndicate space and we were being shadowed by a flycatcher. We knew what was going to happen but I pushed my hoarder towards the interdictor and opened up with my peashooter. As if on cue, it fired off a disruption sphere and prevented anyone from warping out. No matter - we unloaded (as best as we could) onto the flycatcher and amazingly, managed to kill it. Check out Red Vegas in his noob ship, my combat hoarder and TheHermit in his Ibis of doom. Even more amazing, Dil'e Mahn firmly pointed an ejected canister instead of the flycatcher. That can wasn't leaving the scene, oh no.

Proof: Dil'e Mahn:  I do know that in that rumble where we killed the flycatcher I was at some point firmly pointing a can...

However, it wasn't one-sided. The flycatcher was there to hold us (as if we were going to run?) and they dropped the hammer on us: hurricanes, drakes and others.

Just a nice picture of drunken woman - nothing to do with the
Our ibis went first, reaper went second, then Tibbs in his armour tanking Bellicose, I blew up in fourth place - the other fleet members also blew up and with the amount of alcohol sloshing around the pod, the explosions were spectacular!

Of course, being pirates - they were a wee bit surprised that I was in a hoarder and quickly got an evemail.

Reference: just killed you

Sent: 2010.12.29 00:53
To: flashfresh,  
in a very crappy hoarder? wtf are you doing?
I decided to go home with the capsule wobbling along. 

Flash after his bio
OOC: I went upstairs for a bio, staggered into bed and fell asleep - drunk. My partner 'closed up shop for me'. I have no idea what was said by the remaining fleet mates who managed to coax my pod back into a station and she safely logged me out.

Of course, this drunken behaviour would definitely get noticed and so it was. A day later I got an letter with a some very distinctive looking graphics. It had KFC all over it. It smelt of fried chicken. 


From: Lady Shaniqua
Sent: 2010.12.29 23:08
To: flashfresh,  


This is an OFFICAL NOTICE OF PENALTY CHARGES,ur case has been reviewed and you have been found GUILTY of FLYING A SPACE BOAT UNDER INFLUENCE OF DRINKING, ALSO you have been found GUILTY of LEADING A FLEET UNDER INFLUENCE OF DRINKING. Due to your co-operation your fine has been reduced.
YOUR FINE NOW STANDS AT SEVENTY MILLION ISK. To be payed to a representative of Kenssy Fried Chicken Kru.



The post mortem of the roam was fun too; here's a snatch of it:

Dil'e Mahn: you got the same notice, hermit
Dil'e Mahn: oh
Dil'e Mahn: will that hurt?
TheHermit: lol so i did
Lady Shaniqua: Shizraak, TheHermit, Dil'e Mahn & flashfresh
Kane Rizzel: generally yes
Dil'e Mahn: was afraid so
flashfresh: Feck. What about ma kids officah? They gots to eat!
Dil'e Mahn: yeah, officer! I was only smartbombing a LITTLE bit
TheHermit: i cant afford those fines, im a lowly pirate
flashfresh: IT WAS THE A DEMON DRINK TALKING!!! OFFICAH Have mercy. It is ma first crime (self-incriminated)
Dil'e Mahn: I'm a tightwad carebear, so I'm not paying either
TheHermit: Oh Noes dirty cops found my Super Sekret hidout
Draco Dreadskull: lulz busted
flashfresh: We is busted!
Dil'e Mahn: you have NOTHING on me, cop! NOTHING!
Dil'e Mahn: I'm taking this up with your supperiorz.
flashfresh: Gonna speed dial Max Clifford.
Dil'e Mahn: as if I'd fall for that
Dil'e Mahn: they're in on this fillthy deal!
flashfresh: I only know Lady Shaniqua and will only deal with Officah Shaniqua
TheHermit: I will turn evidence against all my co conspirotors for a reduction of fines
Dil'e Mahn: ...
Dil'e Mahn: but... but... we FLEW together
TheHermit: /emote prepares his pointing finger
Dil'e Mahn: doesn't that count for ANYTHING anymore?
Dil'e Mahn: bleh, bloody pirates
flashfresh: Every man for himself!
Dil'e Mahn: I'm gonna run a L4 just to spite you
flashfresh: ..and I pointed first.
flashfresh: L4 - you horrible man.
TheHermit: mother told me you can alwqays trust a pirate.......
TheHermit: to be a pirate
Lady Shaniqua: THEHERMIT FLash already did that, THAT IS WHY YOU ARE FINED
Dil'e Mahn: says the guy who ratted with me
Dil'e Mahn: I have logs! I have proof!
TheHermit: damn my slow response time
TheHermit: /emote pulls teh vent recordings from teh night in question
flashfresh: Wait. You recorded the vent?
flashfresh: Feck.
TheHermit: lol
Dil'e Mahn: durn.
TheHermit: lmao it starts with calling primaries, of rats
flashfresh: ....yes....i remember.
flashfresh: seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dil'e Mahn: "primary is the rear admiral, secondary is the... rear admiral"
Dil'e Mahn: did we actually get guns from any of the rats, by the way?
flashfresh: That's quality target calling right there. I was on form.
Dil'e Mahn: ah, that must've been it then
Draco Dreadskull: sorry wut? someone recorded vent?
Shizraak: oh dear
flashfresh: Uh-huh.....
Dil'e Mahn: someone *claims* to have recorded vent
Dil'e Mahn: until the soundfiles have been made public and scrutinized and all that, it's just a claim
Dil'e Mahn: /emote holds on to that thought
Draco Dreadskull: uh oh
TheHermit: oh yes vent was recorded
Draco Dreadskull: i cant remember everything i said or did, i vaguely remember bombing in a thrasher
TheHermit: ill be uploading it later once i find some spare bandwidth
Draco Dreadskull: the gems
flashfresh: I don't think it will be that bad.....right?
TheHermit: its errrm.... entertaining
Dil'e Mahn: next thing you know someone's gonna be all happy and "oh look I've got it all frapsed" and suchlike
flashfresh: I bet.
Gorgoleon: hehe
Gorgoleon: fuck fuck fuck da police
TheHermit: my fraps died whilst recording
flashfresh: Gorgo - you would have been a fine addition to the crew; am sure you would have quaffed your volume in alcohol.
Draco Dreadskull: how fAR?
Gorgoleon: i was just shooting lady s  )
flashfresh: You might get a fine...
Dil'e Mahn: or violenced...
Dil'e Mahn: or, more likely, both.
Lady Shaniqua: lol
Lady Shaniqua: so your to scared to go comet + wolf v jag so you bring in a vaga and still fail
Gorgoleon: hehe
Gorgoleon: didnt bring him in, we were just talking on comms
Gorgoleon: nice fit though
Lady Shaniqua: shame i was up for v your comet and wolf
Gorgoleon: i was always gonna jump out though
Gorgoleon: nano wolf doesnt like scram :(
Gorgoleon: if u want 1vs1 just say in local - i honoured our last one
Lady Shaniqua: yeah and i would of got 30 secs on the comet before you got back in ofc THAT WA STHE PLAN :P
TheHermit: Good Night all, fly safe-ish
Dil'e Mahn: will do
Lady Shaniqua: o/
Dil'e Mahn: in fact, I'll log too, I have at least one day of work left this year
TheHermit: Dil'e ill get hold of you again in a couple of days talk through the HK stuff, Lady S, keep the Kriminals in order :p, Flash always a pleasure
Dil'e Mahn: and since crime doesn't pay according to some...

Nothing related to the roam either but awesome picture...