A night of the dead sleipnir, dead Chupas and loot.

Dead Chupas

The start of the evening
"Targets destroyed. Grabbing loot." Said one of The Bastards' Captains over the voice comms. I had just linked into the fleet chat as I was going to be leading a fleet out in the evening, but The Bastards were already out and as busy as ever. They just had a successful encounter with our erstwhile neighbours: 'Los Chupacabras' and we had held the field and were looting it and salvaging the wrecks. Piracy can be an expensive business after all.

It was with some surprise that I was informed that our local Mexican space bandit charlatans have apparently joined the Minmatar Militia? What is going on I wonder, but it does look like they have taken up arms for the Republic. Wonders never cease. My best wishes to them as they are extremely good at what they do.

So the night appeared to be starting off well and once things had settled down, I got all the ship Captains together and briefed them on our roam tonight, outlining the route and the ships we would be taken. After some lobbying by Lord Breathnach - we would be taking his Vulture class command ship for a spin aided by a sleipnir. I had some administrative tasks to compete (loot related) but then was ready to roll - our scouts once again racing ahead eagerly seeking out targets. Some of our Captains needed quick bio breaks (their pods were obviously not fitted with the new suck-o-matic urinal, but I digress) before they could get into their ships with their crews.

Once this was all done, the fleet rolled out - a magnificent sight: several battle cruisers heaving past the startled industrial traffic at the undock point with support ships darting in and out. The two command ships, our fleet's flagships, led the way and we were off. Our scouts ranged far and wide and we set our destination that included that well known pirate hub of Eifer and Gusandall, the latter home of the infamous Kane Rizzel, who sadly had to take a long break from New Eden. I think he was last spotted ambling off towards some island retreat on a tropical island in Heimatar. Come back soon my friend.

Our scouts and contacts had informed us of the locals and this time, with some delight we spied M34N coalition ships - mainly from the core M34N corp but some of their newer brethren in the alliance were docked up. A quick scan and we had their ship types and in the absence of any other viable targets we opted to go for them. As we got ready our scouts shouted out a warning:

"EM ships landing on the Ingunn gate. EM ships landing on the Ingunn gate."

The Wait....

Electus Matari - we can't say no now can we? So we switched targets and hastily gathered ourselves. Our sleipnir and one drake raced ahead in an attempt to tackle the EM ships on a gate. The rest of the logistics and fleet would follow in support. We waited and hated it.

Fighting on just one side of a gate with the guns against you is always tricky and required team work and timing. Captains Dame Death, TheHermit and Marco moved to engage and jumped into the waiting ships. They were designated as Red1, Red2 and Red3 to ensure clear communications.

"Contact. Contact. Contact!" The fight was on. The rest of the fleet jumped in, there was some jostling on the gate and the sleepy gate crews were not the most efficient but the rest of the fleet was processed through.We should have jumped in earlier to be honest, my mistake.

"Red1 engaging."

"Red2, engaging."

The adrenaline levels rose as the rest of the fleet jumped into warp. Even from this distance, we could get remote telemetry from the fight and it looked ferocious indeed. We approached the warp exit.

"Hurry, Red1 is going down. Need shields."

"On our way." I said. The short warp felt it was going on forever.

"Red1 is down. Red1 is down. Getting pod out."

Shit.

We landed at the gate and hammered our request to jump. Ominously, there were a couple of M34N coalition battle ships, also on the gate. We had to ignore them and jump.

Red 2 is down

"Red2 is down."

Right, time for revenge I thought and as we dropped cloak we found that our fleet was a bit scattered. Never mind, I thought, we would have to make do with what we had.

"Primary is Hoe Bag. Secondary is Duch Crystal. Tiertiary is TenTon." I called out, selecting the appropriate targets. All around me, The Bastards fleet re-aligned and discharged their ordnance while the EM fleet returned in kind. Actually, there was only one EM alliance pilot (Duch); the rest were a mixed bag - probably all blue to each other. These chaps were too fast and they managed to squirm away before we could lay enough damage. Our webbers were too far to be effectual and we only managed to keep one of their hurricanes and drakes locked down.

"Gatefire! Gatefire!" The Gusandall gate flashed multiple times as more ships came through, a quick check in local and we discovered it was M34N coalition.

As we poured fire onto the hurricane and drake, the newcomers dropped gate cloak. Battle ships with some battle cruiser support.

"Do not engage M34N, concentrate on the EM ships." I said, despite knowing that everyone would be yellow boxing each other. Pretty standard really for pirates: in an unclear situation with multiple actors, go for the anti-pirates and neutrals before you go for other pirates. Simple in theory really but notoriously difficult to execute. Fog of war and all that.

We lost the enemy drake (somehow) but managed to snag Duch in his hurricane. Just as Duch's ships blew up, one of The Bastards declared that M34N had gone hostile and he returned fire. So much for the truce. We locked horns with M34N Coalition as they unloaded on us: Marco's drake was targeted and was blasted into near hull until our scimitars picked up the pace and saved him with some last minute shield repairs.

Ship, it go boom.

Slick Duros in his hurricane was blasted into scrap quickly followed by Escort Zodiak, also in a hurricane. Captain Nessaja in an Armageddon class battle ship, was the next target but the wily pirate knew how to disengage and managed to retreat in good order, his armour smoking and pock marked from our fire.

Vaginitis in his tempest was next, the distinctive looking Minmatar battle ship shook as heavy missiles unleashed from the drakes of The Bastards tore into it. The tempest returned fire but it was ineffectual as the drakes overwhelmed it. Vaginitis exploded in a ball of flame and scrap - his pod whipping away while the rest of his crew died in the conflagration.

Macadee1, in the barrel shaped typhoon class battle ship was broadsided by our ships and was left a smoking wreck. With his destruction, it was over. We held the field and looted it while TheHermit and Dame Death finally arrived after racing back to Evati to re-ship.

Unhappy at missing the fight, Dame Death took his fury out on an absent minded covert ops, even podding the pilot.

Let's continue to roam...
The fleet took a ten minute comfort break before we resumed, with our scouts racing ahead. Our destination would be Molden Heath. Nothing was found between Sotrenzur to Atlar, there was some evidence of fights all over the place with wrecks as evidence. This only made us want more.

Our scouts (and sympathetic contacts) notified us possible targets and it was with some delight that we discovered that one of our targets was Hoe Bag, who managed to squirm away from us in the earlier evening. We definitely had to try and get him!

There was some false alarms but eventually our fleet had managed to manoeuvre into an advantageous position in Bosena (or Bosnia) on a gate. A vexor blundered into us, which we swatted but then the main entertainment piled in. No idea whether the vexor was their scout or whether he was just unlucky.
The enemy fleet dropped in, we immediately noticed TenTon Tommie in his sleipnir. He was quite far from the gate but z0de was on the ball and gave chase and with the arazu's enhanced systems, optimised for warp disruptors and scramblers. At 80KM from us and TenTon Tommie was still unable to escape.

As we raced close to the sleipnir, his friends piled in. Fighting far off the gate didn't give them any advantages but certainly helped us escape the sentry guns.

Thanks to z0de for the initial point, we managed to kill the sleipnir. A rook dipped in and out of the fight, causing nuisance to us but his luck ran out as well, one missed jam and it's thin defences get blown away. The artillery hurricane as flown by Dame Death certainly did the job. The enemy drake died, thanks to Meode (where the hell has he been?) for dealing the most damage with Dil'e delivering the killing blow. Then an enemy smart-bombing blackbird - it probably was scared of drones but well, we had lasers, artilleries and long range missiles. We killed the blackbird pilot too, which was fortunate for us but we lost out on a few more ships who sped away from us. Finally ended up with a myrmidon kill to end this encounter. It was a triple rep fitted but went down easily enough.

It was a mad affair the ten minutes of the engagement: targets appeared and were locked, some died, some escaped. It was a blast and we held the field thanks to our logistical support who saved more than a few of our fellow fleet mates from a fiery death. Importantly, we held the field and had the pick of the loot. Moneys!

We raced home after an exhausting three hour roam.

ORBAT

"Sir, here's the Order of Battle for tonight's operation. The Fleet designation is 290610. " Said the  pirate officer, a young Gallente. I took the sheet and start to scan down the list, I nod as I am happy.

"Eighteen ships, mostly battle cruiser class. Excellent. I see we have a number of unaffiliated Captains with us." My finger circle the names of a few pilots on the list.

"Three are potential recruits and one is a friend of an existing ship Captain." The officer took a glance at his clip-board. I think it makes him look extremely officious.

"A friend of Captain Blackler."

I dismiss the officer with a curt nod. He snaps his heels together and salutes and strides out of the my ready-room.

I reached over and grab a bottle. I pour myself a drink and jab at a few buttons on my tactical console. The order of battle (orbat) is projected onto the large tactical screen behind me.  I want to make some adjustments to communication protocols and default orders for the fleet and fiddle about with some coloured icons on the screen before I am satisfied. The list of ships tell me that, for tonight, it would be more than enough to do the trick. I execute the necessary commands that would trigger alarms along the entire length of the space station. Ship crew and Ship Captains would now be alerted to make ready their boats for violence and loot.

Finishing my drink, I put the glass down.

It is time to move. 


The fleet Orbat is left on the screen to slowly fade away as I make my way towards the capsule docking lounge.

Order of Battle (29-06-10) 

Status: live

Area of operation:  classified

Falcon-class force recon; ship designation: TH901-887

Lachesis-class force recon; ship designation: LB003-552

Huginn-class force recon; ship designation: JM776-643

Hurricane-class battle cruiser, mark III-Fury variant; ship designation: FF665-261

Hurricane-class battle cruiser, mark III-Valiant variant; ship designation: ST293-331

Drake-class battle cruiser, HAM-II variant, ship designation: PA887-002

Drake-class battle cruiser... 

The fleet of eighteen or so ships start to rumble out of space dock amid a blare of klaxon and whirling sirens. The un-docking queue is promptly cleared of commercial traffic as the pirate ships of The Bastards, all matt black with the winged skull and crossed swords motif,  muscle their way out. As soon as each ship makes minimum clearance; it jumps to a random spot in the system before forming up around my Hurricane-class battle cruiser, Arbalast VI, also in a safe spot.

Deep inside my ship, entombed in my pod, I sift through the telemetry from the multiple scouts we have, all feeding data to the fleet. I am hooked up intravenously to my ship, drinking in the information flowing through sub-space radio frequencies. I know that deep inside each of their own ships, the capsuleer Captains of The Bastards are now communicating with their own ships, their own crew and the other Captains - simultaneously and at the speed of light. After all this time, I still cannot describe to a non-capsuleer how the the command and control of a ship is accessed. Around me, the pod gives me the illusion that I can see multiple maps and displays hanging in the space in front of me. It is an illusion as this information is piped directly into my cranial cortex. It is just the only way my mind can convey the information to me without driving me insane. Each ship flashes their readiness to the me and on the tactical map, the ships blinks green once.

It was time to 'speak' to the fleet.

"Attention Fleet. This is FC - destination has been broadcast. Scouts indicate a large fleet of comparable vessels around the Ofrold / Klogori system. They're camping the outbound gate in Klogori. We're going to go and say hello to them. Enemy fleet at the gate has been designated as Alpha-one."

A lusty cheer both from the crew and the Captains rises up. I hear them clearly as my own hearing is now augmented ship- and fleet-wide.

"All ships. Roll towards destination minus one. Engage."

With that, all the vessels smoothly align and fire up their engines. The order means that each ship is to 'roll' forward with minimal communications and hold one jump away from the destination. As the fleet moves towards the waiting camp, one of our scouts, who has the task of keeping an eye on the camp, establishes an encrypted channel with me.

"Scout-two to FC. Alpha-one is moving towards the Hado gate in Klogori and jumping through. Scout-two is following."

Is the camp moving away? I wonder.


"FC to Scout-two. Attempt to re-establish contact." I wait as I know that the scout, inside his tiny craft, is shadowing the enemy ships and hope that he doesn't lose his cloak and blow his cover.

"Scout-two to FC. Contact re-established. They are now in Hadozeko and re-approaching the Klogori gate."

Wonder what is going on? Not too odd, though I have to be careful. 

"FC to scout-two. Maintain watch. Fleet is three jumps away from destination minus one."

The fleet jump in unison and arrive at the destination on the Klogori gate in Orfrold. No mishaps. I order a hold position. We look poised like bullets in a gun barrel, ready to fire and our ships wait for the enemy fleet to return.

"FC to scout-two. Fleet now in position. Re-confirm composition of alpha-one."

There is a pause and then the voice of the scout comes crackling through.

"FC, I have the following ship classes:Typhoon, Armageddon, Scorpion,Tempest, Drake, Hurricane, Vexor, Rook, Drake, Stabber, Ferox, Tempest and Blackbird. They are all none-flashy and appear to be camping for flagged criminal ships only. I just saw them ignore a number of worthwhile targets who were all non-criminals, including a strategic cruiser. The scorpion and rook are about 50KM from the gate."

OK, time to rock and roll. I think to myself. The enemy fleet is one less than us in number but is heavier in tonnage and fire power than our fleet. They have four battle ship class ships, one of which is the dreaded Scorpion. They also have an additional two ECM boats too. We have no battle ships, only battle cruisers and one ECM. We have the advantage in speed and manoeuvrability.


"FC, looks like they like to have sentry guns on their side. Not much of a camp but could cause us problems, if we go into them." Say one of my Captains. It sounds like JManZA and he appears very eager to jump in nonetheless.

"We will be sharing sentry guns so we are fine." Replies another, eager to jump in as well. One thing about pirates: once they smell potential loot and money, it is almost impossible to stop them.

I don't want to have sentry guns on this fleet as well as a scorpion, rook and blackbird ECM boat on our collective asses.

As I ponder, there is a blare of proximity alarms as two frigate sized ships appear alongside us. I am unsure if they were cloaked along side us or had just come through the star gate. I quickly get a scan on them. The results come flashing back revealing them to be the same corporation as the alpha-one  targets.

In a flash, they jump through into Klogori.

"Crap." I am not pleased about this. "All ships, we have just been rumbled - they now know who we are and our ships types. We need to move now. All ships align to planet four."

My battle cruiser start to shift around.

"FC, let's just bait them with our drakes around planet one. I am sure they have a scout close by this gate, all cloaked up and dropping probes. I can see at least five of the little buggers." Suggests Silvetrys. Have to admit, it is a sound idea by my able secondary fleet commander. I like it.

I quickly pick an icon from one of the maps and drag the tactical map and in a sweep, grab the three icons representing the drakes and give all three new orders. God I love my tactical battle viewer! The three drakes acknowledge the change in their orders and flash their acknowledgement back. They then disappear from view as they warp off to orbit planet one.  I am confident that anyone scanning for ships around the gate will see the drakes only.

"FC to fleet - warp to planet four then align to planet one on arrival."

Setting a trap like this was fraught with difficulty as the two enemy scouts surely had gotten a right eyeful of this fleet. However, Silvetrys idea is a good one and I am confident that it will work.

"FC, this is scout-two. Plus one scimitar to alpha-one. I have also spotted a secondary fleet of three ships around planet three in Klogori. Designating second fleet as beta-one. Unknown if beta-one and alpha-one are working together."

So a logistical ship had joined the main enemy fleet with a potential backup of another three ships! The odds are against my fleet and now stack up even more.

The drakes signal back that they are in position. The main fleet is now in a safe spot and aligning to planet one. My directional scanner reveal scan probes are everywhere. So someone is actively scanning for us. Hope they find the drakes first.

"FC, this is scout-two. The scorpion and rook both warped away and then came back to the gate. I think they're about to move." There was a pause. "They're jumping to you. They're jumping."

Show time.

"Scout-three to fleet. Incoming gate fire. Incoming gate fire."

Sure enough, another one of our scouts, positioned on our side after we had vacated the gate confirmed the presence of the enemy fleet as they slowly de-cloaked.

My heart was hammering away as I wait so see whether alpha-one would be warping to the drakes or elsewhere.

"The enemy fleet are aligning to planet one!"

"Silv you beauty, your plan appears to be working." I said. "Persephone, keep your eyes peeled -  you have hostile ships inbound."

"Roger that FC. Bring them on."

I hated this bit: the waiting. In my mind's eye, I can see the ships all in warp, the plasma playing over their hulls. I can imagine the excitement in the crews as they approach our drakes. Their weapons ready.

"Contact! Contact! Contact!" Yelled Persephone and a clear signal for us to go.

"FC to fleet, warp to planet one. Red alert, battle stations and all that jazz."

My ship leap into the warp alongside the fleet, a deadly synchronised move. From the camera drones and external cameras dotted alongside the hull of my ship, I can see the awesome beauty of warp space. Purple gossamer threads fold around our ships as we plough through towards planet one. In the corner of my eye, the countdown ticks down until the warp tunnel collapse at our destination. Persephone had started calling out targets so that the three drakes could kick off the party with gusto.

In a flash, I am back into normal space. My telemetry starts to update. The space in front of me fills up with the bulk of enemy ships. Laser beams lance out, drones scream and missiles lurch drunkenly in all directions. I check my tactical overview as quickly as I can and see the scorpion-class battle ship. It is forty kilometres way. I want it. I fire up the micro warp drive and start to close the distance. I scan the other ships to see that we are all here.

"FC to fleet. Primary is Minorchik, in the scorpion. Primary is Minorchik, in the scorpion. Primary is Minorchik, in the scorpion." I like to repeat (three-peat?) a command, especially when the things hit the fan.  "Secondary is Shkip Matroskin in the rook. Secondary is Shkip Matroskin in the rook. Secondary is Shkip Matroskin in the rook."

"I am jammed! Going to ramming speed." Wasn't too sure who's voice it was, sounded like Silvetrys. Probably was Silvetrys as he would be crazy enough in using his entire ship as a ramming weapon.

"Vig is jammed and neuted."

A hail of shells hammer into my shields. My shields hold. Keep calling targets, Flash ol' buddy!

"Tiertiary is Shi Kara in the 'geddon. Tiertiary is Shi Kara in the 'geddon. Tiertiary is Shi Kara in the 'geddon."

"Jmarr is jammed. Moving away."

Crap have to knock out the ECM. 

To my right and slightly below, one of our drakes is on fire and spinning away. It's guidance systems most likely smashed. It still fire out missiles salvoes in defiance. It has to be Persephone's boat. Close by and lower still, a second drake, already dark, badly holed with the occasional bloom of escaping flame. Not good.

0-2 to the campers.

"Lord B going down." Crap, I forget we have a lachesis and I need his points.

0-3 to the campers.

No matter. I finally close the distance to the scorpion and now was the time to show my displeasure.

"Gun crew - red line the guns, take the safeties off. Primary is scorpion. Free fire! Free fire!" Am sure it is my imagination but I swear, I can feel the battle cruiser lurch as the bank of mighty 425mm auto canons spin up and thump out projectiles. With satisfying splashes, the scorpions shields disappear quickly. Another few seconds and the shells are smashing into the armour, gouging out huge terrible wounds in the Caldari battle ship. Some of our ships had gotten close too and they too open up. The scorpion, armour plated, blew up into a nice ball of scrap.

1-3, we get one back!

"Primary is the rook. Primary is the rook. Primar -"

"Enemy rook is down."

That was quick.

2-3, come on Bastards!

"New primary is the geddon, primary is Shi Kara in the 'geddon. Primary is Shi Kara. Secondary is Gadsky II in hurricane, secondary is Gadsky II in hurricane, tiertiary is Klutch Johnson in the ferox, Klutch Johnson in the ferox."

My ship continues to shake as the 425mm auto canons threaten to rip itself off it's housing as I continue to pour fire on the gleaming golden hull of the Armageddon. A flash and the Armageddon detonates in a most spectacular fashion.

3-3, a draw so far!

"Primary is down. Secondary is gone. Moving to tertiary." The ferox takes a bit too long and I switch targets.

"New primary is Fyr in the phoon, primary is fyr in the phoon, primary is fyr in the phoon. Secondary is Threeofseven in tempest, tertiary is Wollk in drake."

The distinctive shape of a typhoon class battle ship squats in space, surrounded by drones. I lock it up and fire a nice salvo of barrage ammunition. I grin as a stream of hyper-velocity rounds race towards the Typhoon. My other surviving ships follow suit. Missiles, lasers and shells shower past me.

"Vig is down."

3-4, the enemy take the lead.

"Silv is down."

3-5, they're stretching ahead.

The enemy Typhoon explodes, debris shower the adjacent ships with scrap, shrapnel and bits of Minmatar starship engineering.

4-5 but The Bastards could draw level!

"Hermit down." Shit, there goes our own ECM.

4-6, the enemy maintain their two ship lead! 

"Primary is ThreeofSeven in the tempest, primary is threeofseven, primary is threeofseven. Secondary is Wollk in the drake, secondary is Wollk in the drake, tiertary is Klutch in the ferox."

I spot a massive salvo of missiles spewing from the drake. I hit the micro warp drive and dive down and away. I am too slow and a good fifty per cent of the missiles slam into my ship. Ouch. 

"Tempest is down! Tempest is down!" I can't tell who said that due to the sub-space distortion from the weapon discharges. At least I had one more compatriot!

5-6, that's more like it.

"Jmarr is down." Not good, we are running out of fire power.

5-7 to the campers! Come on Bastards!

Wollk in the drake, his after burners glows brightly as he tries to get some range but my stasis webifier reaches out and slow him right down. He isn't going to get anywhere and has my full attention.

"Primary is Wollk in the drake. Wollk in the drake is primary. Secondary is Klutch. Tiertiary is the scimitar." I push my hurricane closer to give my 425mm the best chance of hitting the drake at close range.

Wollk's Drake, as mighty as it is, explodes under the onslaught. I see the ferox, scimitar, vexor and a stabber remaining. They look like they're ready to bug out.

6-7, but can we get a numerical draw?

What ships do I have right now? A quick scan on my watch  list and I see that I still have a hurricane, two myrmidons, a drake and cyclone. More than enough.

"Primary is Klutch in the ferox. Klutch in the ferox."  What is left of the fleet smoothly switch across to the new target. There's a boom as the caldari battle cruiser blossoms out in a gorgeous flower of flame and light several seconds later. God I love those explosions!

7-7 a draw!

The remaining ships, decide that a heroic death isn't a sensible option and start to withdraw quickly.

We had held the field and can now loot the wrecks - hopefully it would yield enough to cover our ships losses.

"Great job fleet. Now loot up, pick up survivors and salvage everything. We leave nothing."

I salute the enemy crews who we leave alone - they fought well and valiantly but we hold the field and to the victors goes the spoils.

The butchers bill is high...

The Campers Lost: 
Scorpion Killed.
Rook Killed
Armageddon killed
Typhoon killed
Ferox killed
Tempest killed
Drake killed
Blackbird got away
Vexor got away
Stabber got away
Scimitar got away
Hurricane got away
Drake got away

The Bastards lost:
Drake
Drake
Lachesis
Falcon
Hurricane
Harbinger
Hurricane

A tower that got away....

With deadly intent, a small stealth bomber gang slipped out of Evati. The activating cloaking devices hiding the ships from all sight as soon as they were more than two kilometers away from the station. Some of the local ships reacted in alarm, frantically requesting for immediate docking permission as they spotted the two swords-crossed, winged skull motif of The Bastards pirate corporation and alliance of the same name emblazoned on the hulls of the ships.

"All ships report status please." Requested Flashfresh, in his hound-class stealth bomber.

Each ship squirted back a data-dense electronic pulse to the fleet commander and with a mental nudge, the entire fleet started their journey of plunder and loot for the night.

With two scouts racing ahead, the cloaked gang sneaked into systems heavy with potential enemies. Certainly, around Fuskunen there was a very large Legion of XxxDeathxxX fleet regrouping and most likely heading into Paala and into the drone regions. The dozen or so stealth bombers whispered past the fleet and proceeded to more suitable targets elsewhere.

It was at this time that our scouts had spotted a variety of ships: Loki, Drake and others. Both scouts were busy dropping combat scan probes in order to find them. However, it was RoninData and Happy San who spotted something infinitely more interesting.

"Check, check."Interrupted Happy San over the murmur of fleet chat. "I have a hurricane orbitting an un-anchoring large tower and it's being attacked by two crows."

"Happy: confirm please." There was a pause as Happy got closer in his stealth bomber. A minute later he came back, sounding more urgent.

"This is Happy San, confirmed. The two crows are attacking the hurricane. Hurricane pilot is owner of the large tower. Large tower has twenty one minutes remaining before unanchoring is complete."

RoninData, on a rare visit chimed in.

"We could do with some of that."

There were mumbles of agreement from the fleet. I agreed but continued to send my scout ahead, no use in wasting time or resources.

"This is Flash. RoninD, you're in rapier with a point. Primary will be the hurricane and the first crow by alphabetically by pilot name. We might have to let the second crow go." Flash paused as he consulted his tactical notes. "Happy, is the 'cane pointed by one of the crows?"

"He must be though I don't think they doing that much damage."

Suddenly there was a laugh and expletive from Happy.

"The hurricane aligned and got away. The crows are fail."

In the local communications net, the two crow pilots complained that the hurricane wriggled free due to some sub-space anomaly that induced a dsynch. From one of the crow pilots, the following terse message was squirted out into local.

"Local anomalies are inducing some sort of d-synch. You're lucky."

We weren't going to let this one go.

"Find the hurricane." The stealth bomber pilots all scattered and attempted to locate the fleeing hurricane.

"Jmarr at planet IV. Clear."

"Vig at planet V. Clear."

"Persephone at the Moselgi gate. Clear. I think the 'cane went through here though, there's a few fluctations here and the gate is still warm."

"Damnit." Said Flash, the night was slow going as he prepared the fleet to move, RoninData, ever the isk pursuing pirate put forward an idea.

"We could always steal the tower?"

"In a stealth bomber?" Queried someone.

"Actually, I have a mate in a viator three jumps away. She's finishing off a supply run...." Offered Happy San.

"Stealing towers is an accepted part of being a Bastard," said RoninData, already making up his mind.

"Also, a large minnie tower is worth around 360 million isk...."Said Viginti.

"360 million?" asked someone. There was a pregnant silence, as that was a lot of isk.

"That's like, er 36 million each right?" offered someone else. With the loot sales and ransoms, this was another good source of isk. We couldn't really turn it down.

"Okay. Let's do it."

After some quick re-adjustment of the fleet we had our cloaked hauler 2.6 km from the unachoring tower. Ronin was also there in his rapier. The rest of the fleet sat in the next system, cloaked and aligned and ready to offer assistance.

With less than two minutes to go, the owner of the tower appeared in local and in a bestower. We had a total of two points in the system and another six one jump away. Even stabbed, the hauler couldn't get away.

The one minute mark appeared and the bestower aligned and warped towards the moon where his large tower would be waiting for him. However we were ready.

"Hauler...decloak." Ordered Ronin and our own hauler shimmered into view and ambled the last 300 metres or so into scoop range. The bestower was now on scan but we were in the process of scooping the tower as the seconds ticked down.

As the tower finally unanchored, the bestower was still en route and we cheered.

"Scoop it."

The tower should have disappeared from overview. There was nothing from our hauler pilot.

"Scoop it please." Repeated RoninData. The rest of the fleet remained quiet as Ronin decloaked.

"Er, I can't. I don't understand it. It won't let me." The bestower burst into view as it dropped out of warp. I landed close to the tower. Robotic arms snaked out from the bestower's hold.

"Scoop it!" Repeated RoninData with more urgency.

"Am trying damnit. Am trying!" The tower disappeared. "Crap. He got it."

"Then point the indy!" Ronin then started to cycle his scrambler. There was an explosive curse. "I can't lock him.....and the bestower, he's gone."

"What?"

The ventrilo communication net, quiet until now, burst into life. We had somehow lost out on a 360 million isk tower and failed to grab the hauler as well. Disappointed, the roam was approaching the closing window and I ordered the fleet back home. We would review our notes at a later date.




Other news:

The Bastards run a solo kill of the month competition every month and I will comment more on this in another post but I wanted to give a shout out to Kalius Prime who took on x2 omen-class cruisers in his rifter. I think this will qualify him from a nomination in the November Solo Kill of the month. October's winner was our very own Ard who, took on destroyers (twice) in his signature vigil of doom. It's his well kept secret but it can not be secret no longer! Winners get a medal (ohh shiny) that's we've called 'Microwave Meal For One' award and a choice of T2 frigate or some other hull type as a gift and yes, most of the time, we're outnumbered....

However, here are the other solo kills to look over, some impressive ones for sure - the post is a discussion of the kill but it's only available to corp members. The killmail link is publicly available.

October 2009 Ard's super Vigil v Coercer
Killmail: http://www.the-bastards.com/kb/?a=kill_ ... l_id=12583
Post: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=4129

September 2009
z0de's taranis versus Typhoon
Killmail:http://www.the-bastards.com/kb/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=12325
Post: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=3958

August 2009
Did not run.

July 2009
Coochie in Thorax vs Harbinger
Killmail: http://www.the-bastards.com/kb/?a=kill_ ... l_id=11566
Post: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=3643

June 2009
P'XEL in Ishkur pops Arazu while under fire from Broadsword and Sac
Killmail: http://the-bastards.com/kb/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=10727
Post: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=3528

May 2009
Nova in his Rapier and his 4 cruiser kills:
Killmail: http://the-bastards.com/kb/?a=kill_related&kll_id=8700
Post: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=3244

April 2009
Fish Brain in Wolf - 5 Frigs
CAN'T FIND KILLMAIL LINK
Post: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=3044

March 2009
Rodneystar in Rifter vs rep fleet firetail
Killmail: http://the-bastards.com/kb/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=7161
Post: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=2834

February 2009
Unknown.

January 2009
Hera in taranis killing a vagabond
Killmail: http://the-bastards.com/kb/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=5825
Post: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=2447


The Ransoms!!
However, even though we love the thrill of a solo kill, we have been busy with ransoms. Just to answer back at some of our detractors who 1) accuse of manipulating our kb by flying cheaper ships and 2) having a 'poor' K/D efficiency I can only say, boo-hoo.

For one thing: we're pirates and it's a hard life. We like to kill and ransom stuff (especially expensive T2 stuff) in our t1 hulls. Many of us don't have mission alts or play the market or have GTCs drip feeding isk into our accounts. It fits in with our play style and attitude. We're not rich and like I have said in the past - too much isk can have odd effects on some pirates.

A second thing is that we've been busing ransoming people rather than blowing them up and hence, we've cracked 1B isk in ransoms of the month of October. We're doing well in November once more. We would love to hear comments and feedback on our RANSOM BOARD.

One of the highlights of the ransoms are the accounts that we ask each Pirate to make on our forum.

I want to share with you just some of the fun and inventive ways The Bastards have been obtaining their ransom isk. Normally, I do not post other people's content here. This is a blog with 100% Flashfresh derived content but I wanted to show people that The Bastards do live and breath piracy as much as we can...

Take AzazelDev, for example. He's been a busy bee.

In one ransom, he just entered the mission of a young Rupture pilot, 'morrowwind'. Unfortunately, he was too far and escaped before Aza could point him.

In his own words....
He convoed me shortly after and after a lot of haggling I got a ransom out of him.

Highlights:

• I got a ransom even though I had him not pointed
• I got a ransom from a pilot on a trial account and it was in-game-value - which I think is probably a novum...

AzalDev also managed to get a French-speaking pilot to produce a Haiku style poem. Again, in Aza's own words.

First invited him to yarrsom, didnt seem to react for a while, so I kicked him and started shooting. Then DJ mentioned the guy was French and he could translate.
So invited him to convo with DJ. See below for the discussion.

In the end we got a small poem in haiku style, albeit a bit on the weak side regarding content...

PS: Thanks to DJ for translating!

AzazelDev > tu parlais francais?
Naoru > what do you want?
AzazelDev > ah, ok
AzazelDev > well
AzazelDev > I told you
Naoru > oui, je suis francais
AzazelDev > I want 1million isk
AzazelDev > and you are free to go
Naoru > je ne les ai pas
AzazelDev > and finish your mission, if there is yet something to finish
AzazelDev > ok, hold on a sec
DJ Akula > Bonsoir
DJ Akula > Apparemment tu n'a pas un million isk?
DJ Akula > il y a une autre solutio pour conserver ton vaisseau..
DJ Akula > serais-tu dispose a chanter ou a ecrire un Haku?
DJ Akula > Naoru, il serait a ton avantage de repondre...
AzazelDev > c'est vrais :)
DJ Akula > no s Az ;)
Naoru > un haku?
DJ Akula > poeme japonais, je te trouve la definition
Naoru > heu, je connais mal mes ideogrammes
DJ Akula > tu peux le faire en francais Naoru > et ça consiste en quoi?
DJ Akula > 5 syllable dans la premiere phrase, 7 dans la deuxieme et 5 dans la derniere
AzazelDev > yes, that would actually be very cool (pls translate)
DJ Akula > I will translate
DJ Akula > Je le traduirai en anglais
AzazelDev > (moi, je comprends, mais ne parles Francais bien :( )
Naoru > Je vais m'en aller, loin de vos turpitudes, et aller dormir
Naoru > ça vous va comme poeme? :)
Naoru > 5/7/5
DJ Akula > je crois que loin compte pour un mais je vais te le laisser :)
DJ Akula > You can let him go az :)
AzazelDev > have fun :)
AzazelDev > you're free to finish this mission
AzazelDev > afterwards you are fair game again
Naoru > i don't understand your motivations, but " ce fut fun"
DJ Akula > bonen soiree et ca va t'arriver souvent si tu reste dans les parrages
DJ Akula > nous sommes pirates.. la motivation est l'argent.. ou le divertissement

Je vais m'en aller, loin de vos turpitudes, et aller dormir Translation: Will be on my way Far from your many hassles and speed to my sleep

The view from the floor 1: Loot Sales

"How does he do it?" wondered Jenkins, shaking his head as he pulled his gaze away from the viewing port. He directed the question to his colleague working next to him with the lower half of his body sunk into a ground access panel.

"He isn't human; that's the reason Jenk. He's a capsuleer, not human," replied the shorter man. Fiddling with something he looked back at Jenk. "Hey, pass me a size five spanner will ya?"

"Sure."

Both Jenk and his friend were dressed as station maintenance crew, like tens of thousands of fellow workers all around New Eden. Keeping the stations and ships and everything in between in running order. Always around but invisible to many. Jenkins, or 'Jenk' to his friends, was a middle aged Caldari. Perkins was taller, younger and Gallente. Jenk fiddled with a blown circuit board in his hand and then stopped and looked back up again.

"He's going through the loot isn't he? All that booty he and the Bastards have collected over the last month. He hasn't left that hangar now for, what, five days?" Jenk smacked his lips at the thought of the monetary value of all the collected ship modules. "What do you think Perks? How much this time round?"

Perks, wiped some sweat off his forehead and hauled himself out of the access tube he was in. He worked his jaw and cocked his head sideways; as he always did when he had something new to say.

"I heard that this time round it could be over five billion isk. Came from the man himself, I overheard him at the bar."

"Five billion isk? Wow. I could buy my own station after that."

"Yeah, five big ones. A new record I heard."

"I can't even count that much!"

"You know what's better? We're due a bonus too, after hitting our targets."

Jenks shook his head and imagined what it would be like to be that rich. He returned to the viewing port and put his face to it. Through it he could see into a restricted hangar, the light dim and a Brutor of medium height and strong build moving between a field of large containers.

It was Flashfresh, the current CEO of The Bastards and at the moment, he was preparing the massive amounts of loot for shipment and then eventual profit sharing for all involved parties.

"Perks, can you remind me how this loot split works again?"

"Again? Man, your memory is more leaky than a Minmatar cruiser."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just humour me will ya?"

"OK, Flash opens each of the containers and personally checks the modules inside. Each container has a unique number, each number corresponds to the unique kill mail id that tracks each ship kill." Perks flipped open his data pad and presented the scrolling screen to Jenkins. "See? However, I think he removes anything with a retail value less than 100K isk, plus- or minus 5% Jita prices."

"He does it for every container right? Man, that hangar is packed." Jenkins' fingers tapped on the plasteel port.

"Well for all those containers, the boss takes out each module, no matter how small and repairs and repackages them. Every one. Flash then checks every container with our killboard to ensure that there are no errors. Sometimes, the containers get the wrong identifiers. So he needs to be sure. Nothing worse than a pirate who has his loot 'misappropriated' eh?"

Jenks and Perkins chuckled; while they were not pilots or even ship crew of The Bastards, they were part of the organisation. The discreet winged skull with crossed swords collar studs gave them access to certain parts of the station and employment opportunities, not available to others. It also meant that they too would get a cut from loot sales, albeit a small one. Seeing Flashfresh moving around the cans, shouting at two humanoid-looking helper drones and the thousand or so other containers, Jenkins and Perkins moved away from the viewing port.

"I think the boss is going to be in the hangar for a while longer."

Perks nodded and checked his data pad. "OK, we're almost done here; we just need to re-route a faulty power line and then next job is down at the Independence bar, some backed up coolant."

"At least it isn't the soil pipe, like last time."

Perks chuckled. "I think you and Brigadier HappySan and General z0de got caught in the back draft, didn't you Jenks?" Jenkins shuddered at the memory as he proceeded to open up a side access panel. As they both rushed to complete the last bit of work, the thought of all the isk next door got them talking again.

"What are you going to do with you share this time Perks?"

Perkins paused as he considered his answer. "Going to send some of it back to my folks. Medicine is getting more expensive out there in the sticks. Ma isn't as healthy as she was and my corporation medical insurance doesn't cover her treatment. Then the rest, putting it aside for me and Maria. Marriage is also expensive. You?"

"Going to drop most of it on the Mutai this month, Walker Smith looks hot with ten knock-outs to his name. The rest I am going to use to impress that sexy red-headed waitress at the bar."

"Shouldn't that be the other way round? The money first on the woman then the betting competition?"

Chuckling, Jenkins agreed and started to gather his tools together, the job done.

"You won't get anything if you don't turn the lights back on in the hangar, my dear fellow." The sudden presence of this individual alongside Perks and Jenkins made them both jump back, their tools clattering around them. When Jenks and Perkins took in the bald head of a Brutor, solid mass of his form and the jet black jump suit of the current active director of The Bastards pirate organisation, they both nearly fell over.

"Sir! I er, the lights?" Gulped Jenks. Perkins threw a solid salute and stood ram-rod straight. Up close, Flashfresh, like most capsuleers, was a lot bigger, taller and hard-looking to the two terrified crewmen. His characteristic dark sunglasses didn't hide the fact that his eyes were now boring into each of the maintenance chaps. There was an amused smirk playing over his face however.

"Yes the lights." Replied Flashfresh quietly with a smile. Jenks went pale as he realised that he must have had pulled out the wrong breaker that then cut off the power to the lights in the Flash's loot hangar. Perkins also realised at the same time and shot Jenks a murderous glance.

"Shouldn't have been yacking so much!"

"Sir, yes sir! I will fix it now." Jenks swiftly got back down on his knees and opened up the access panel. Perkins next to him with the tools necessary. Flashfresh stood behind them, observing and, to the two maintenance crew, brooding like a mountain with a gathering thunder cloud. With nervous fingers, Jenks switched the correct breaker and the lights, in the secured hangar, snapped on. Perkins breathed out with relief.

"Sir, the lights are back on." Replied Perkins, a sheen of sweat on his face.

"I am sorry sir, so sorry -" started Jenks, but was cut off mid-sentence by a a swift gesture from Flashfresh.

"Thank you very much, crewman. I can now continue with my work." Flashfresh spun on his heels and strode back towards the hangar. He stopped and turned around and looked back at first Jenks then settled on Perkins.

"Bradley isn't it?" Asked Flashfresh, addressing Perkins by his little-known first name.

"Yes sir."

"Do you chaps want to help me sort some of this loot out?"

"The loot sir?" Only the most trusted members of the corporation hierarchy had access to this hangar.

"Yes, the two helper drones are anything but helpful. Could do with some human interaction. Shouldn't take too long." A request from Flashfresh was essentially an order. They couldn't really refuse.

"Yes sir!" Chorused the crewmen.

For the next two hours, Jenks and Perkins worked through a couple hundred containers of items. Many modules were foreign to their eyes and even being experienced, they couldn't recognise them. Other modules were clearly bits from ships but one or two items were too baffling and no doubt came from some deep null-sec space complex. They took out each item, checked their details, sent it off for repair and repackaging and made sure each item was returned to their correct container. All was done with as much manual labour as possible - Flashfresh stated that the selling and tracking was done automatically but this stage, the first stage, was too important to leave to a programme.

Exhausted, the two men slowed down but they daren't say anything as Flashfresh, a capsuleer continued to work relentlessly. However, mercifully, Flashfresh called for a halt and pulled a crate up. Gesturing to the two sweaty crewmen to sit themselves down, Flashfresh presented a small box and popped out three ice-cold, quafe ultra drinks. The two men, gratefully received the drinks and gulped down the contents. Flashfresh joined them and everyone finished their drinks with gusto.

"Perkins, you said your mother is poorly. What is her illness?"

"Pelau syndrone sir. It's environmental, we think - chronic but not fatal, sir."

Flashfresh pursed his lips and appeared to be lost in thought.

"Yes, poor radiation shielding is one cause isn't it?"

"I think so sir. No one knows." Perkins shrugged helplessly. "I'm just a small fish in a very large pond. So I do what I can."

"That's a very commendable attitude Perkins, " said Flashfresh approvingly. "Gentleman, I thank you for your time. I know you are busy men and I am sorry for taking up so much of your time. Please consider my request fulfilled. It was a pleasure working alongside the both of you. You are now free to go. I believe you have some plumbing work to do?"

Gently reminded, both crewmen groaned, grabbed their tools and proceeded to the their. Flashfresh slid off the crate and started to work again. As the door hissed open, Jenk turned around.

"Thank you sir. Thank you for your time."

Perkins nodded in agreement. "It was an honour, sir." As the hangar door hissed closed, Flashfresh called out.

"Jenkins - put your money on T'Lar instead. Walker Smith is carrying an injury to his left arm."

The hangar door hissed then snapped shut.

For a good minute both men stood outside the closed hangar door. It was Jenks who spoke up first, his face lighting up with excitement.

"Wait until we tell the fellas."

"Jenks, no-one will believe us, buddy."

"Whatcha saying Perks?"

"I mean, c'mon. You and me and Flashfresh? Working together and then sitting around and jawing like a trio of greasemonkeys? Nah."

"Yeah, but it's a hell of a story."

Perks, clapped his friend on the shoulder. "C'mon man, we have an appointment with a blocked soil pipe."

"Yeah, great." As the two men shouldered their packs, Jenks frowned. "Flashfresh said T'Lar right?"

"Yes he did, Jenks. Yes he did."

The duo started towards a nearby maintenance lift.

"Hey Perks, how does the loot programme work again?"

Just away for a ten-days and more on the RansomBoard

Just out for a week - taking in the beautiful Emerald Isle for a week. Peace to everyone, have set some long skill and the corp will be managed expertly by z0de and Ard. Ronin and Silvestrys occasionally have a look in too.

Back around the 26th August.

However, I wish to delight everyone's senses by showing you the latest update to our ransom board available here. The interface is clean and easy to look at though the work is still in progress. Currently, we've made just under 500million isk in ransoms and August is only 50% complete! Happy San, the designed of the ransom board, is leading the way with nine ransoms.

Of course, if you click on one of the ransoms, it drills down to show you exactly which pilots were involved. Here's an example of a ransom for Ulysses Meta in his Pilgrim. Happy and Bandy (ex-Bastard x2) managed to net a 100million isk ransom. It took some patience by Bandy and Happy to track Ulysses down as he is a tricky customer and wily. So much satisfaction was had when he was finally pointed.

Want more information? Click on the 'Stats' link and it jumps you to a more detailed breakdown for the month of August 2009. Like I said, it has been a good month so far, lucrative for those involved in The Bastards. A total of 13 ransoms, with an average of 36.57million isk paid for release. Since we derive much of our income from ransoms, it is a point of honour and honesty that we keep our word and let people go if they pay promptly. Our ransom demands are perfectly reasonable.

Now the all-time stats, makes for some very interesting reading with our previous CEO (RoninData) leading the way with an all-time high of 46 ransoms and he is, not surprisingly, the all-time isk earner with 1.46Billion isk earned through ransoms. The biggest single ransom we ever hard was 1billion (x2); I think that was a freighter for one and a mistake by the other?

Anyway, I ask my readers (all three of you) to check out and use the board. We need feedback as it is an active project. Areas we are working on include:

1. A one-page public ransom policy. For the benefit of the public and will deal with how we do it, what we expect from people and what happens if we break said ransom. Basically, it will boil down to:

All bastards must honour ransoms, if they don't they are kicked from corp. The ransom conditions should be confirmed before isk changes hands. If there is a problem evemail the ceo or a director.
Click here for a list of successful ransoms (links to ransom board)
Click here for more details.

2. We have an innovative loot split / share policy and the payouts can be quite substantial. This particular loot split, made up of items we have collected from the wrecks of our victims, came to 4.5billion isk. The next payout will be even higher. The regular payouts, coupled with ransoms does ensure that our pirates should be able to keep themselves in ships. It is our intention to add this total to this board to give everyone a more complete picture of the isk flow from piracy.

3. There is no intention to release this board out in it's current form to the New Eden population, after all, The Bastards hold IPR on this and we want to give ourselves something unique to our organisation in order to distinquish ourselves from amongst the plethora of bigger and more (in)famous groups like VETO, The Tuskers, Python Cartel (MK2) to name three. More importantly, we're keen to get this board just right before we even consider making it available to others as a service, so people please bear with us. To get this right, we need comments so send them in via evemail (to Flashfresh of Happy San), or comment on this blog. There is a shared ransonboard resource run by The Python Cartel; it's a free beta and well worth a look if you want something right now.

4. Same goes for our loot programme; I will put more details about how it works and what one gets out of it at a later date but the programme is still not ready (if ever) to be shared out to anyone at this moment in time. Once again, The Bastards own the IPR on it and we're keen to maintain the organisations unique selling points. Once again, we're keen to get it right, indeed, get it perfect before we consider anything more widespread.

5. On the theme of isk earned through piracy, I blogged about if too much isk was a problem to piracy and the comments I recieved were interesting. At the risk of linking my older posts to new one (an easy way to recycle content!) I wanted to publish something that Raelyf posted. Rather than summarise it, I will repost verbatim:


Raelyf said:

I think you're absolutely right Flash. I've come to a point in my life where free time is at a much higher premium than money, and I've considered going the GTC route. It makes sense - I could stop worrying about what I fly and the isk I might lose and just enjoy what play time I can get. Still, I haven't because even though it would grant me more freedom, I think it would take the fun and feeling of risk out of piracy.. losses would become meaningless, and it would cheapen the excitement of ransoms and loot.

When I started piracy last December, I had my vaga, 50m isk and only about half a clue. The vaga quickly died, of course, and I've since spent the last 7 or 8 months building up my hangar and my wallet. Piracy is my exclusive source of income, and I now have a respectable hanger including hundreds of frigs, dozens of cruisers, a handful of battlecruisers and BS, 5 or 6 t2 frigs and a few t2 cruisers. I have fittings for everything, and hundreds of spare t2 mods since I never sell anything I collect solo. My wallet is up to 450m. It's been the hardest isk I've ever made, but the most fun, and I'm PROUD of what I've accomplished.*

Still, while losses aren't so troubling I still cringe when I lose even a t2 fitted rifter. It's not that significant, but I still have goals from which I'm a long way from achieving - snakes, a carrier, blackops, marauder, a second line of racial t2 cruisers, ect. There's plenty of room to grow and plenty of motivation for aggressively pursuing ransoms - I won't cheapen what I've accomplished and what I've set out to do by buying a shortcut through it all.

@BillyBob - Piracy is absolutely viable! My own experiences and those of my corp mates, like Flash, have proven that beyond doubt. It is, however, quite possibly the most difficult way of earning a living. Unlike most professions, like mining, mission running or 0.0 ratting, isk/hour in piracy is completely dependent on pilot skill and, perhaps more importantly, Motivation. It takes dedication, commitment and, most of all, team work to make piracy viable.
For piracy, it's something like isk/hr = motivation * pilot skill + Luck

*I added the emphasis myself.

I am very confident that with our ransom board, and continous improvement in our loot handling and sales; that we can show New Eden's population that piracy is viable, not as a side-job but as a full time career.

Anyway, a long ramble and I need to pack for Ireland. I can't wait.

See you all later.

FF

80's Movie Roam

Tuesday nights will become Flashfresh's regular roaming gang operation type thing - and I will try and make it a regular event though not every week. As in the tradition of The Bastards, there has to be a theme to bind the pilots together, either some fitting restriction, ship type or some other stipulation.

Last night, it was 80s movies nights in destroyer-class ships or an equivalent. I sent out a call to the corp and allies that they had to have a destroyer class ship, fitted for gank first and foremost with points and for them to pick a signature 80's film of their choice. Some research had to be done to ensure that they have thought long and hard on the choice. It generated a lot of chat and interesting fittings and as the operation kick-off time rolled around, it looked like there would be a fleet of about a dozen ships.

Untypical of a Bastard roam, some of the pilots were assembled around Evati an hour or so before the mission was due to kick off. Happy San spotted a dominix class battle ship nosing around Evati and the proto-fleet went out to give them a typical Evati welcome. Leading the charge in her stealth bomber was Mynxee and the dominix was melted down extremely quickly. Just check out the damage from the stealth bomber. I know that recent upgrades had given this ship class a lift but this is impressive!

So, once 20:30 ticked along, the fleet was ready to go. Destination set, scout roles allocated and order of battle communicated. 'Top Gun' (1986, grossing $350million worldwide), a thrasher class destroyer rolled out of Evati, sporting several 200mm auto canons loaded with EMP ammunition. This was going to be my baby. I was joined by Scrumptious Shae in catalyst named 'Blade Runner' (1982, by Ridley Scott, one of the top 100 films of all time) while Happy San in his crow, called 'The Blues Brothers'(1980, $58million US Gross) raced off ahead as our scout. He didn't have the skills for a destroyer and was a better as our scout. A crow was much more suitable.

We had four thrashers, one catalyst, one wolf, one cheetah, one incursus and one crow. Ok, not a 100% dedicated destroyer gang but close enough.

However, it was Gorgoleon in his cheetah ('First Blood', 1982 with $157million world wide gross) who spotted the first victim of the night. After brushing past a very lack lustre GIS camp in Egmar we proceeded another few jumps. Happy San was locked by a GIS falcon but ignored it and carried forward. Hanging at the back of the main fleet was Jmarr in his incursus.

"Flash, GIS merlin, falcon and brutix are following us. I think."

"Roger that Jmarr, no worries - we have some distance on them and they would be foolish to tangle with us." A thought flashed through my mind. "However, once we're in Klogori - hold gate cloak on the gate please."

There was a ripple of acknowledgements and the fleet jumped into Klogori. If the pilot was sensible, he wouldn't just blind jump after us, especially not in a battle cruiser.

However, common sense doesn't seem to be in supply amongst those space warriors and the Brutix pilot jumped in after us. We knew because we had already made a note of his name and that there was a gate fire behind us. Silly boy.

"OK - this chap is not an outlaw so only war targets need tackle. Only war targets."

Once the gate cloak had vanished, the brutix was sitting there like a big whale, it turned and tried to race back towards the gate - spitting out drones.

"Tackle. Tackle. Tackle!" I said, nudging my thrasher towards the brutix. I was about 32KM away and hit the micro warp drive.

"Point." Said Mynxee, her thrasher was aptly named 'I'mGonnaGetYouSucka' (1988, US Gross $19million) got point as did several others.

"Point." Said an unfamiliar female voice, she didn't sound like Shae or Mynxee. Then there was a huge explosion and I realised that one of two Hellcat applicants had gotten carried away and also initiated hostile actions against the brutix. The sentry guns, detecting an illegal weapons discharge, since these neutrals were not in a sanctioned war, promptly dismantled Amy Fae's thrasher.

However, against the damage dealing fury of this gang, the brutix was peeled apart. Since the fight was against a recognised war target - no-one had a global criminal countdown. We all laughed and prepared to continue moving.

"Grab the loot and let's go!" I said, the fleet whipped around and went to a safe spot. However, GIS rarely travel or fight alone and soon the merlin and the falcon were at the gate; no doubt more were on the way. Some of us went back to joist with them but the merlin and falcon jumped back through and no doubt ran back to Egmar. We had more important things to do. Ten minutes later, 'First Blood' had probed out a hurricane, again in Klogori. We all piled in and killed it with extreme prejudidice. We wanted to ransom the pod but the tackle was missing as the capsuleer expertly whipped his egg out from under our noses.

Waiting out our criminal countdowns, we saw a lot of traffic and most were towards Ardar. Eliviron, the second of the new Hellcat applicants did not have a criminal countdown and was tasked to explore the surrounding systems.

Finding nothing and with our countdowns expired we went to the next system and again, Gorg drew 'first blood' having probed out a drake and myrmidon in safe spot. I tasked Jmarr, Kamoonga and Mynxee to do the deed however while the drake was tackled, the myrmidon bolted. Wishing for a quicker kill, I ordered the rest of the fleet to jump in after the tacklers and as we landed - the myrmidon returned. No doubt shamed into flying back to rescue his friend.

"Primary is the drake. Secondary are the myrmdion's drones. Confirm your points please." I said.

"Point on drake." Replied Jmarr.

"Point on myrmidon." Said Happy. Other pirates confirmed webs and target painters.

"Target and pop the myrmidon's drones. Keep the myrmidon pointed but knock his drones out."

The myrmidon was promptly pointed and webbed while we went to work on the drake. The drake was popped but not before it managed to snag and destroy 'Blade Runner' with a well-aimed salvo. We took swift and brutal revenge and managed to snag the pod. We were going to have fun with it later. Our attention switched to the Myrmidon and we pounded the hell out of it. Fenneck was smart and targetted the drones throughout the engagement, forcing the myrm pilot to scoop his drones on a regular basis in order to save them.

The space between our ships was thick with auto canon projectiles, missiles and drones zipping between the antagonists. As the myrmidon went into structure, I wanted to grab this pod along with the drake pilot's pod we had earlier. I had no idea what I was going to do, ransoms were so routine.

"Tacklers, take points off the myrmidon, get the pod." There was a flash and my thrasher was showered by gallente battle cruiser debris. The pod zipped away amidst a lot of cursing but at least we had the other one.

"Sorry boss, I lost the first pod, I moved too far away and lost point...." Cursing at the loss of both pods, I decided we had to move on. No matter, loot was scooped and we went to a safe spot to cool things off. We also examined the kill mails and discussed the ship setups. Pushing further south we ended up in Frerstorn and tackled an Armageddon - what a treat! However, local then shot up by dozens and the order was given to bail out. It looked like a blob was pushing their way through here - possibly called in to combat us or maybe not. We couldn't take the risk. Gorg, all cloaked up and sneaky reported back that there were at least four battle, ships, seven cruisers, nine frigates, a couple of interceptors and some battle cruisers all close by. The 'geddon may or may not have been bait. We couldn't take the risk.

Of course, even if we were doing nothing, something always happens and there was a smaller fleet who were also present in the same system who initiated chat with us - blaring out greetings in local. It turns out that they were readers of our various blogs (this one, Shae's and Mynxee to name three) and we exchanged pleasantries. Of course, this would also mean that it would be doubly more fun to kill them and therefore give them a mention.

Oh we got some love in Local while roaming last night. It was highly amusing and I would like to give a shout out to: Griznatle, Jyren's Rage, Vhis Iridion, kapu4u. Some memorable lines of chat include:

z0de > I've touched Shae in rl, who wants to lick my hand?
Griznatle > Me! and lines up
flashfresh > I've done more than lick her HAND
Mynxee > ROFL
z0de > lol
Griznatle > FLASH!
Griznatle > JEBUS
Griznatle > OMG
Shae Tiann > hehe it's true.....

This group soon left, passing through Ardar and once our GCCs were up - we went this way too; with our scout and covert ops moving ahead. The presence of a vengance assault frigate, a rupture class cruiser and a golden hued 'geddon was observed and Happy tried to lure them off the station towards a planet. He danced and wiggled to entice but nothing, yet. Gorg was also there and relaying more information. Just as we decided enough was enough and that our beds were beckoning, Happy reported back that we he may have been finally successful in his bait antics and in this case, kapu4u and Jyren's Rage were coming. Two of the four chaps we had chatted to earlier.

"Vengance just landed about 45km from me. Burning towards him."

No one spoke, we just waited at the safe in the next system.

"Jmarr and Kamoonga. Warp to the Ardar gate but do not jump." Two ships peeled off from the fleet and warped to the gate.

"I am closing.....thirty kilometres, twenty-nine, twenty-eight.." Counted down Happy. A few seconds ticked by.

"Point. Point!"

"Jmarr and Kamoonga. Jump and warp to Happy. Rest of fleet, warp to Ardar gate and hold." The rest of the fleet, already aligned, jumped towards the gate, the ships almost straining to get involved in the kill.

"This is Gorg. Hostile Rupture inbound. Hostile Myrmidon inbound." The trap was sprung.

"Kamoonga, this is Flash, call primaries please."

"Roger. Primary is vengance, secondary the rupture."Jmarr bravely tackled the rupture on his own, amid a swarm of drones. We jumped in after Kamoonga and Jmarr and the main fleet dropped out of warp into the middle of the fire fight. We sincerely hoped that the 'geddon would also come in but it didn't. Still, the fight was brief and brutal with no losses on our side and with a decent haul in loot. The distinctive thick, red curling stream of energy neutralisers snaked out from the dying myrmidon but none of this could save him.

Would've been supremely funny to have gotten Griznatle but his group moved on apparently.

The operation was approaching the end and I decided to call an end.

"All ships, head back home at your own speed. Gorg and Happy are ahead of us and the path is clear."

With the acknowledgments ringing in my ears, the fleet broke up and made their own way home. Leaving myself and Kamoonga to pick up the loot. As the first elements of the fleet entered Evati, they managed to tackle a harbinger and then a cyclone. However, our strength is due to our size and numbers: going into a belt in dribs and drabs would kill us. The lure of an extra kill or two just to end the evening was too tempting for most of us and we engaged the harbinger and cyclone. I stupidly lost the thrasher (with some of the evening's loot) but we succeeded in killing the pair AND recovering the lost loot.

The pair were determined to have their revenge and they returned in battle ships that killed our battle cruisers but then we were hot dropped by a couple of carriers. Not what we had expected and we had to scatter; the abbadon we had targetted would have gone down eventually to our battle cruisers but not quick enough.

A disappointing ending for me, when the evening was such fun.

Isk and well, more isk.....

A loss with a silver lining
It was with some surprise and sadness that the first week of January had us Bastards bade a fond farewell to Jedizah and Kulmid. Both whom I count as friends and assets to the pirates. Their reasons for (in my view) an abrupt departure was driven by their need to engage in even more and more pure ship combat; free from the constraints of politics and other baggage. Hopefully, away from anyone using an excessive amount of Falcons too. For that, they've joined up with Club Bear; a corporation with a fearsome reputation for combat prowess. They are mobile and travel extensively, picking up fights are they go along. They also have some impressive videos of them dishing out carnage.

I can see the attraction of this, The Bastards has increasingly been establishing a base in our system and the surrounding areas so we're much more tied to territory. We still roam of course. though we derive a portion of our monthly income from the relatively rich pickings around the system. It is not in our immediate plans to leave our current home.

Still, the two departures have been viewed by all as an opportunity to step up and fill their considerable shoes - both in terms of acting as new fleet commanders and in the back-office roles they have been engaging. A pirate organisation isn't just all about the yarr but relies on the dedication and hard graft of loot selling and ransom management.

Speaking of which, it was pay day for me and all the other bastards and associates. Just to give you an idea, here is an amended and cut-down payout list from the loot sales listing in our forums of items sold since October/Novemeber 2008. The names have been removed to protect the er, innocent. Also, the number of # are random so plugging in the names of known Bastards will not work. So no risk of any muggings of isk thank you very much. However, I am immensely pleased with my pay out all from the combined loot drops from kills.

#### 259,071,266 isk
##### 13,053,234 isk
######### 191,894,511 isk
######## 85,603,274 isk
# 106,990,146 isk
### # 5,927,862 isk
##### # 144,973,662 isk
## 49,575,916 isk
### 201,897,050 isk
### 66,209,240 isk
###### 255,560,451 isk

Not bad numbers and it doesn't include the income from ransoms and individual kills since we have a 'you-keep-what-you-kill-when-you're-solo' rule. There's still more loot to sell as well.

Once again, the ease and smooth running of this process ensures that all pirates involved in any kill will get a share of the loot that is successfully sold. We have developed an application that takes the kill mails and the loot (from the asset manager) and organises it into a hyperlinked format that can inform the directors who is due what amount from which ever kill, based on kill-id. Just have a look at the screenie on the right. All the useful information is there and makes the loot split per kill as well as a summation, so much easier. With the amount of loot we are dealing with - a more robust and automated system was required.

If only the selling and automatic distribution of the loot can be done automatically too....

Oh, just to show you how much we love this process here's a quote from one of our pirates when he noticed his isk bonaza...

Nice work!!!! Bet that took a while to sort, and explains why you've been a right sour c*nt the last day or two, RoninData.

A happy pirate

You have to laugh. It's not easy being the CEO is it, and worse if you're in charge of a bunch of cussing, grog swilling and cut-throat pirates.

However hats off to Perdy for this application!

There's an obstruction ahead of us.... Lately, The Bastards have been trying to figure out a way of circumventing or pushing aside a rather large corporation now parked about five jumps from our current position. It's already affected two scheduled pirate excursions as these chaps are numerous and has more or less the same TZ coverage as we do. Like us, they have eyes almost everywhere. Unlike us, they are aligned to the Minmatar Militia and are fighting to secure local space from Amarr factions. While I (and most of the Bastards) have stayed away from the increasingly volatile Empire based wars; it's effects are now almost exculsively being felt in low-sec.

Am mildly concerned at the possible reduction in loot and hence isk. Nothing worse than the possibility of not earning isk for a pirate. We love coin too much however, plans are afoot and gathering pace to fix this intolerable attack on our liberties but we've had a lot on lately and with the alliance tourney just round the corner....

Am a director?
Er, yes - it seems that I have been quietly promoted around christmas time to directorhood and I look forward to now raiding the fabled gold-leaf lined toilet paper in the boardroom en-suite bathroom as well as see the famous 'Unemployed Stu's Comfy Soffa' in the corner. Quite funny that no-one told me about both the promotion and the loo roll, but there you go.

Tournament!
Yes, The Bastards are in the alliance tournament. Hooray! We have no plans but to appear in our rag-tag ships and bum rush the opposition and then we will eat their women, board their food and ravish their ships and er, no - wait.

Now, where's my ticket for the event?