[OOC] - At Conference.

Hi all

Am at a conference ATM in RL hence no activity on the kB or Forum or blog for me. Hotel is charging an extortionate rate for poor LAN access.

Sorry, not much access here but will be back to some more yarring in a week!

F

Singing Ransoms

Ransoming in New Eden isn't just about taking someone's money though we do love isk. Rather, it is the payment of a victim (er customer) for safe passage through space or for us to let you go. A bit like wheel clamping I suppose.

Now, we normally take isk as payment but occasionally, we took other forms of payment. Yes, we all have heard about the infamous ransom payment to a pirate corp (BYDI?) of REAL PIZZA delivered to someone via Dominoes. My story is third hand so if someone can pass on some information; that would be great.

However, not to be outdone - we've done our own and yessir, we're Bastards and as part of our ransoms we have decided that a jolly song would be enough to satisfy our urges. No isk, just a song. A good song mind and one of our chosen but if we think it's good - you can leave; scott free. Scouts honour.

So if you happen to be passing through low-sec space, you see a Bastard on scan and have no isk and then you get scrambled...

Then it might be time to warm up those vocal cords........

http://www.the-bastards.com/mp3s.html

WTF? A full freighter,afk'ing?

Luck sometimes does shine on you and last night; it's searing light was illuminated on us. I was in my rupture and was out scouting around our patch along with Z0de when I arrived in Gultratren. I sat there, the rupture still under the gate induced cloak hiding me. The scanner was flipped open and I ordered my survey crew to perform a 360 degree sweep; to the maximum range of the scanner.


"Nothing to report Captain." Replied my surveyor master.
"Scan once every five seconds for another 30 seconds then we leave."
"Yes sir." I settled in and cycled through the seven or so other pod pilots in local. Checking the new, unfamiliar pilots for their corporation affiliations and security status. There were some reds in local. The scanner piped up. I glanced over.
"Surveyor. Report."
"Sir, a fenrir-class freighter. Based on the vector. It's on approach towards this gate."

My heart skipped a beat.

"Surveyor. Confirm!" I nudged the rupture towards the gate and hit the micro warp drive.

"Sir, freighter, fenrir-class confirmed as being inbound." I toggled the communications array and flipped into fleet chat. Just as the other fleet captains appeared on the chat window, my rupture was buffetted by the sudden appearance of a massive, block-like shape of the minmater republic's own fenrir-class freighter. It landed about 14-15km from the gate. A quick glance and I had the pilot's name: 'Mustaffa Goodtime' from the M4G corporation. Oh, we were going to have a good time on his behalf. From the angle of entry; it looked like the freighter was also on autopilot.

"Check. Check. Check. This is Flashfresh. Fenrir freighter at the Arnstur gate in Gultratren gate! It is approaching the gate and will be in Arnstur in approximately two minutes. The replies from the pirates was swift; a quick response is expected when freighters are in the equation!

"Am burning around." Said RnProphet.

"Coming in 'phoon." Replied RoninData.

"Point it!" said someone else.

"This is Z0de. Am in Arnstur, will get to the gate and hold."

I did not lock the freighter as the gate guns would shred me before I could kill it; it was best to catch such ships on the exit side with help. The trick was to spread yourselves out around the exit gate with warp disruptors and scramblers primed and over-heated. As soon as the gate cloak is dropped; everyone should see the target and with luck, someone would in range to point and tackle.

I jumped into Gultratren and waited; praying that the freighter Captain would follow through and not get spooked by the fact that I jumped ahead. Surely he saw me? Z0de in his taranis zipped around the gate, poised and ready. I decloaked and got into position. We waited as, in my mind's eye, I could imagine the slow crawling progress of the massive ship, inching it's way towards the gate. Four Angel cruisers had appeared, as if they too, knew that there would be blood. They locked me and started firing at my rupture, much to my displeasure. I held off on firing back for now. My impatience was building and what if the freighter Captain performed an emergency stop and docked up? I should have stayed at the entry point and risked a tackle. Just as I was about to order the ship back through when there was a flash of gate activation and the local communications net updated itself with the name of the frieghter pilot. RoninData, having come into the same system also spotted the name.
"Freighter pilot in local. Go! Go! Go!" We both announced.

"For feck's sake; point it before any one webs it!" Ordered Ronin.

The frieghter held cloak for a few seconds and decloaked 7 kilometers from my position. My warp disruptor, already over-heated, snaked out and punched through the freighter's plasma containment fields - preventing the ship from warping.

"Point!" I said. The sentry guns, detecting my illegal act, spun around and smothered my ship in ordnance; combined with the four Angel cruisers (I should have fired on them) - I was in danger of going down as my shields started to shrink awfully fast.

"This is Flash. Am taking too much damage. Need to bug out soon."

"Point!" Shouted someone, I think it was Prophet.

"Point! Go Flash, we have it covered. Go." Said Z0de.

I didn't need telling twice as I whipped out from under the sentry gun's range, my ship well and truly on fire. The small armour repairer was in danger of burning itself out as I had it patch the numerous holes dotted all over the super structure of the ship.

Meanwhile, the firepower was poured on as we had a typhoon, an armageddon class battleships, a myrmidon and Z0de's interceptor attacking the freighter. I could hear the conversation over the communication net with Ronin demanding a cool 1billion isk ransom. There was a muffled laugh from someone as the reply was something similiar to: 'Damn, I was on auto-pilot and I only have 400 million isk....'

I had to see this and warped back; my global criminal flag still very much active.

As I arrived back, the sentry guns were busy cycling through the fleet; I had a minute or so before it was my turn. The freighter pilot was too slow in responding and Ronin, fearing that he was calling for help gave the order to pop it. So we did.

The freighter burst apart as our weapons tore it to pieces. The pilot, traumatised from his loss was too slow in getting the Captain's pod out and he was snagged and then ransomed once more.

He refused to pay and we dispatched his capsule with glee, the sound of organic matter flash freshing in the cold vacuum of space heard clearly by all the pilots.

"Let's check the wreck!" Said Prophet, exciting clear. The golden hued 'geddon approached the wreck and salvage crews dispatched.

"Oh my Gods! Blueprints! Blueprints and shit. The freighter was almost full! Oh my God!" I got close and glanced at the wreck with my own crew examining it and the inventory list was massive. It included ships, all packaged up neatly for transportation as well as tech 2 equipment and ammunition and ores and minerals and compounds. We had, indeed, hit the jackpot.

The kill mail is too long to post here but the link is here.

Highlights include:

• Minmatar encryption methods skill book
• A Jaguar-class assault frigate
• A Hulk-class exhumer
• A Hyena
• A Wolf-class assault frigate
• Tech 2 mining crystals of most types
• Cloakings (improved, covert-ops and prototype)
• Electron bomb blueprint
• Jump drive calibration and operation skill books
• Some Cosmos storyline blueprint for a very nice 200million isk afterburner. The BP could make a 1000 of them? (Need to confirm this one, Flash.)
  

and much, much more.

We did lose the packaged maelstrom and huginn however. There was an intact interon type-V in the freighter's hold as well; too big for us to liberate. So we left it and another two hoarder-class industrials along the wreck, a gift to anyone who had the space to carry them.

It looked like the contents of someone who was moving their personal contents due to the range in goods being transported. Oh well. It was a nice haul for us; the kill board has a 5.6billion isk value but while the exact figure is in dispute; what isn't in dispute is that this was a massive haul for us. Some laughed, some cried and we did the ewok dance.

It's great being a Bastard.


Oh, if one wants to see some cool merchandise, click here for some Bastard merchandise and for cool, kick-ass shirts and stuff. We'll try and wear these for Fanfest 2009!

Bastards Recruitment

It's been a busy time for us Bastards as our recruitment inbox has been quite busy. We welcome Jubes to The Bastards; my ex-Black-Flag pirate and all round bad ass. He is a known quantity and well known to friends and enemy alike.

Three we had to reject due to insufficient SPs or not quite fitting in or the obvious spy. Thank God for EVE-SEARCH I say!

The other nine or so are at various stages of processing with two on the cusp of joining us. An exciting period for sure. All the handling and man-management of these applications has shortened the time for Yarr; at least this week but I intend to get back to some wanton acts of destruction very soon.

The current Bastards recruitment thread is here. Give us a shout if you think you can roll with us. We have a minimum SP requirement of 4Million SPs; just to ensure that you have a broad enough base for low-sec work.

However, just to keep you chaps interested and for one or two who has asked about a suitable Jaguar setup. Here it is with my skills; the original setup was by Viper Sam:

Lows:
Damage Control II
Mark I Generator Refitting: Diagnostic System
Micro B88 Core Augmentation

Mediums:
Medium Shield Extender II x2
1MN Afterburner II
Warp Scrambler II

Highs:
125mm Gatling AutoCannon II x3 (Hail, Barrage and Rep Fleet EMP)
'Arbalest' Rocket Launcher I (Gremlin)

Rigs:
Anti-Kinetic Screen Reinforcer I
Core Defence Field Extender I

Notes:

• Approx 4k shield,
  
• NO Shield resistances lower than 63%,
  
• Pretty fast at 900m/s,
• Cap independent.

I tried to fit a WD II in but it required some adjustments. Give it a go - this puppy will own most frigates and assault frigates but don't get too cocky!

EVE Pirate Blog speed-linking October 2008

New Pirate Blogs:
A shout out to two new pirate blogs, both by corp mates:

We have San Rintuu and VBSarge.

Also, the Hellcats (those crazy women-only pirates) have a new blogger with them: Step forward 'Karjan' and her literary offering, 'Hooking my claws into the void...' Great title and good posts; am expecting more. She joins 'Life in low sec' by Myxnee and 'Sweet little bad girl' by Shae Taen to form a unholy triumverate of female Hellcat blogging power.


Recent Pirate Blogs That I Read And Liked:

• There's a wonderful write up by San of a hook-up between The Bastards and The Hellcats. San's account oozes with his customary style and humour. I loved it. Read it here.
• Everyone loves George Michael and The Bastards decided on a roam with nothing but T1 cruisers (mainly ruptures and thoraxs) with the following caveats: no tank and each one named after a famous WHAM ! or George Michael song. Was it funny? Yes. Was there pain being dished out? Yes. Will The Bastards do it again? Hell yeah. Watch out for some 80s band coming to a constellation near you. Take it away George.
  
• Does honour exist in New Eden? Of course it does but KaJolo goes into some depth into it's discussion and how it applies to piracy. A thoroughly enjoyable read. KaJo talks about Honour in New Eden.
• Mynxee and her hell cats have been on my radar for a while and our very own San Rintuu had inspired her to create her very own comic strip. Looking forward to some more great content from the CEO of the women-only pirate corp, The Hellcats. Life in Low Sec: Those Bastards Made Me Do It
• Well Lanissum certainly lives up to his reputation as an uncaring carebear. The evemail from the angry pod pilot he ransomed sometimes makes the world go round and round. Read Yarr Yum here: Yarr Yum: New Home, New Gang, New Targets.
• For those who ask, why do you pirate? Well one reason is that the loot and isk to good. Another is that we're doing something that is challenging and fun. Yet another reason is amply recounted by Spectre3353 as he hunted and killed a very angry noob. Read and drink in the tears here: EVE Newb: Killing Stuff Is Fun
• One of my best friends and colleagues is Kane Rizzel. He is balls to the wall type of pilot and still one of only a handful that I know who still pirates more or less solo. A very hard man, a very able pirate, a very good writer. This following post is writing in a very winning style...Kane Rizzel - a Pirates Perspective: I get knocked down, but I get up again.
• Blinky Blinky is a new blog, by Avan Sercedos. A rather angry, slighty crazy Caldari. I love it. More please.
  

Lovely weekend - with loot, kills and a taste-less POS

Mach and Scorpion......massive pay-out and sex-wee

(Quite a long post..)

A pay-out for most pirates is an important part of being. While other professions have isk generating schemes; a low-sec pirate's income can be very precarious. More so if you're solo, which I was for a long time. It was hard but it was good too. Recently, been scanning the pod pilot forums and I just wanted to link to one of Le Skunk's post about piracy in New Eden after a new pod pilot was asking if piracy could, indeed pay. Here was Le Skunk's elegant answer. I have only linked the final paragraphy. The full thread can be read here:

In return, you're the only profession in the game who makes a living blowing people up. You call no man mister. You're not skulking around in high security space with concord at your back. You don't have to bow down and ass kiss alliance leadership. No pos bashes. No ratting. No mission grind. No fiddling with 0.01 isk buy orders. Just warp and pop.

You are fighting with the biggest handicaps CCP [Sic Da Man] impose on any pvper in the game. And you are still pwning their asses.

Plus you get your own song

Le SKUNK

Amen.

The Bastards were roaming around on the Friday night, adding minor kills here and there. Business as usual really. I logged into the corporation communication net and caught up with the latest news. There was already a fleet of about nine to ten, all eager to tear into some poor pilot's ship. Over time, the fleet pilots were split over three, nearby areas. Roaming, scanning and ransoming.

I was idling in my hurricane class battlecruiser, 'Arbalast' and keeping the intelligence channels flowing. It was San Rintuu who sent a terse message to the rest of the corp, it's content bursting upon us.

"Mach and Scorp inbound to Todi." She croaked.

The pirates all poured out from the two stations and safe spots from the three neighbouring systems. There was a lot of chatter but the FC put a kosh on it immediately. The machariel is a fast battleship having been created and extensively fitted by engineers from The Angel Cartel. It is a worthy prize for any pirate to grab. This would be my third such catch. Never been involved in a ransom of a faction battleship before.

It was Proph and then Sarge who braved the gate guns and decloaked first, poised to drop down on the victims. The primary was the macherial and all points were to be allocated to it. We were not leaving anything to chance. The scorpion could run.

"Mach pointed." Said Proph.

"Mach pointed. Mach webbed. Shit, he's fast - more webs" Commented Sarge. With these two committed to the action, I urged my ship towards the gate. The gate control crews here knew us well and didn't even wait for a request, I approached the gate, there was flash and I materialised in a different system. There was the macherial, Proph and Sarge orbitting around it like vultures.

"Ronin inbound."

"Flash here. Mach Pointed."

More gate fire. More ships.

"Sellina here. Pointing. Dropping sentry drones." My overview filled up with small crosses. "Go my lovelies!" Whispered Sellinato her now deployed sentry drones.

"Ard now applying webbers. It isn't going anywhere."

"Jorge here. I can't jump yet through. Two jumps. "

"Jed arriving. Give me a target?"

"The big fecking Mach!" Guffawed Loth, flitting around in his stabber, his weapons spitting out EMP rounds.

There was a chuckle as Jedizah's Abaddon class battleship slowly turned and levelled her gun turrets at the faction battleship, a retina searing flash and the lasers joined the game.

Voice comms were crackling up as the combined firepower from the gate guns, our own guns and the Machariel's own weapons created enough localised disturbance that the static cut through most of the conversations. Ronin and I had both our 425 mm auto canons furiously cycling through our ammunition hoppers as we slammed 100s of shells into the target. The damage per second of a hurricane is fearsome. Two of them is can melt through most battleships. The Machariel was very quickly shredded. A bit too quick as we were getting ready to ransom the poor pilot. A kill is a kill but there were some grumbles that we could have gotten a nice ransom.

His companion in the scorpion inexplicably warped in, too late to assist the Machariel pilot. Jorge had arrived as well, just in time to see the dwindling explosion of the battleship dying off. All that happened was that our guns, still hot and glowing from the Machariel kill turned on the recently arrived scorpion and pummelled that ship into sputtering scrap.

What followed next had us all dumbfounded.

I approached the machariel wreck and quickly scooped the loot, my crew well used to grabbing loot and salvaging wrecks quickly and efficiently. There are loot thieves about after all.

"This is Flash. I have the loot."

"What dropped?" Asked Proph eager to know what we had managed to grab.

"All ships get off the gate and start to re-align." Ordered Ronin, efficient as usual.

I glanced through the cargo manifest; there were a number of blinking message notifications from my own crew. All asking for my attention.

"Er, some tech two goodies. Rest are all tech one and some named...." I froze. I looked closely, at the inventory. I wasn't too familiar with some of these modules.

Inventory #3554. Items recovered:

Gist X-Type 100MN Afterburner
Mizuro's Modified Stasis Webifier
Gist B-Type X-Large Shield Booster
Dread Guristas Invulnerability Field
Dread Guristas Invulnerability Field
Domination Gyrostabilizer
Republic Fleet Gyrostabilizer
800mm Repeating Artillery II
800mm Repeating Artillery II
800mm Repeating Artillery II
Caldari Navy Cataclysm Cruise Missile, Qty: 26
Republic Fleet Cruise Missile Launcher
Barrage L, Qty: 114 Capacitor Flux Coil II
Synth Frentix Booster, Qty: 3 (Cargo)
Dragon F.O.F. Cruise Missile I, Qty: 200 (Cargo)
Republic Fleet Depleted Uranium L, Qty: 1103 (Cargo)
Vespa II (Drone Bay)
Valkyrie II (Drone Bay)
Hammerhead II, Qty: 2 (Drone Bay)

Slowly, I realised what was now laying in my cargo hold.

"Flash. Report." Demanded someone, the eagerness clear.

"Er, guys. I, er. " I had trouble talking so I then linked the item descriptions to the fleet chat menu with their estimated market values. One by one.

"Holy shi..." Muttered Sarge.

"OhmyGodWeWonNewEden." Exclaimed Jed.

"Just did a sex-wee." I think that was RoninData. The communications channel was full of hoots and yells and yarrs and it was deafening. Nice to hear happy pirates. Someone was shouting.

"FLASH. DOCK UP NOW." Ordered RoninData. "NOW. DO NOT PASS GO." Raising his voice in order to get himself heard. He realised how a stray group or an act of stupidity could result in a potentially heart breaking loss.

I quickly checked the stations, a part of my brain was shouting at me not to warp to a high security empire gate. Being concorded with this loot in my ship would entail an instant corp dismissal. Never had a short hop to a station been fraught with so much tension. As soon as a docked up, I quickly signed over the lot to the safe keeping of RoninData, who also added the very nice loot from the scorpion kill. The scorpion loot also contained faction loot, though not in the same quality and quantity.

We calculated the value of the loot from the two kills would come to about 4 billion isk.

Not bad. We laughed hard and all did the ewok-dance. It was clear that the pilots of both ships had not planned ahead or expected resistance. Certainly, the scorpion pilot was quite young to be flying such a powerful ship. The fittings were lavish and the mind boggles at the monetary outlay but one suspected that either outside financial help [sic:GTCs] or even the nefarious EBAY was part of the answer.

For your delight: Macharial kill and Scorpion Kill

A cheeky pilot in a thrasher came in and tried to salvage the two wrecks, right under our noses. He was quickly killed. Naughty thrasher.

Sternhagel can bring it.
AntonioBanderas is one of the corp's best pilots but he missed the lucrative mach and scorpion kill, linking in just as I had passed the loot over to RoninData. I can not repeat what he said but the profanity filter on this blog would break under the strain.

Needless to say, 'Bandy' vowed that he was going to kill something and we can all jump off a building for all he cared.

Several minutes later, Bandy's voice came in. A bit too quiet as there was still a lot of joyous celebration on the communication server, so no-one caught his initial announcement.

"Vagabond pointed." Said Bandy, a little bit louder this time. Still there was no reply.

"VAGABOND POINTED!" Yelled Bandy.

"Check. Check. Check. Clear the channels. It's Bandy." The noise in the communication channel dropped down to a manageable level.

"Bandy. Go ahead."

Some static cut through but then Bandy came through, loud, clear and calm.

"I have a vagabond here at the Egmar gate in Arnher." There was a pause. "Am okay though, have it webbed and my drone will tear it to pieces. Am just a bit worried about his friends. The vagabond pilot is Steinkalt."

Steinkalt flies with N0Fear corporation and Bandy was close to one of the N0Fear's area of operation. He was clearly expecting company.

"We're on our way Bandy. Hold on." The fleet began to move out, most of our global criminal count downs had expired now, saving us from the opportunity fire from gate guns and station guns.

"Shit! Contact. Contact. Contact." Yelled Bandy. "Vaga is down. I have a tempest, munnin, maller, thorax, blackbird and dominix. They're on my ass."

We were still two jumps out.

"Bandy: we're inbound. Get to the Evati gate in Arnher. We're almost there."

"Negative. Bandy is going down. Bandy is going down."

The N0Fear/Sternhagel fleet melted Bandy's myrmidon down to it's constituent components.

We chased the slower Tempest into Lasleinur, catching it on the gate as it decloaked and tried to lumber away. The NoFear fleet was already smaller than ours by four ships and they had the bad fortune of being split up between two gates. We killed Tial'c's tempest with contemptuous ease. The presence of the blackbird, maller and thorax distracted us somewhat but me and Ard recognised the potential danger of the EW cruiser and dispatched it quick enough. The maller and thorax crusiers than bugged out while the muninn and dominix class battleship came roaring in, too late to save Tial'C but quick enough to get themselves well and truly snared. Coming into the fight, in small packets like they did, doomed them.

Still, much respect to N0Fear (and to Sternhagel in general) - as they do bring the fight and one has to respect them for it. They have NO FEAR, so I can't argue with that. Seek them out for some pew-pew.

Comic Strip.
Well, The Bastards has some talented individuls and I have to mention Loth'nwenar.
I feel that New Eden needs to have more comic strips. WinterBlink and his comics are the trailblazer but please check out:http://thebastards.stripgenerator.com/ (NOT WORK FRIENDLY!!!!!)

Yes, The Bastards have their very own comic strip(s).

Mention must always go Rob Repper, Jarek and Gazur who all have also put together some very funny strips but, for now - they are only on The Bastards internal forum. Have to give them all a shout out so here's Jarek's efforts.

It tells us a story of a mission runner who was jacked by us and he lost his VIPs...
Rob has a funny story about a well-known pilot who frequents our area. We have killed him many a time but he still keeps on trucking. We now decide to run away in fear as we reckon he's not what he seems. Take it away Rob...
Some of our tales of yarring are better retold in the comic form. Well done to Loth for the strip. My intention is to feature his work and others in the blog each week or so.

But there's more...
San Rintuu has a new Blog called 'Ramblings of a Bastard' and VBSarge has his literary outpourings here. San has already demonstrated his eloquence in posts to the EVE-O forum as well as in our internal forum. I love his style. Sarge is a dark horse, he has already written some outstanding materials in the form of short stories and I hope he can revisit them for my (and your) benefit. All our blogs will be linked together. Two outstanding corp mates now taken to writing down their thoughts and actions and between us all, I think people will have a more complete picture of what we, The Bastards, do in New Eden.

Overkill? No, this is New Eden
Overkill? Maybe - dropping a carrier onto a rupture that was already under sentry fire!
http://www.the-bastards.com/kb/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=3126

However, the kill mail doesn't tell the whole picture. We failed big time to get these chaps to engage us as we dropped a dread and a carrier on them before they aggressed. Premature ejaculation one can say. They wisely docked up without firing another shot and stayed there for the rest of the night. They laughed at us, which is fair enough. We executed the trap poorly.

Is there taste in EVE? [OOC]
We did end up going after a rather tasteless POS in Evati. One of the pilots who frequents Evati caught my eye last week. He has the name 'SS Deathcamp' and his bio (probably since changed) was in a poor taste, to match his name. I made a mental note to bring this up to the corp directors. More so that he was hanging around in Evati then anything else. His corporation (The Minmatar Defence Project ) had a large POS set up and and we discovered that the pos labs were named after notorious death camps, to match his rather tasteless name. It had some scramble, dampner and neut towers; nothing to worry about.

Now we tend to ransom POS owners, and ask them for a weekly fee so as they can stay unmolested. For the POS, we demanded a 100million isk a week ransom AND a change in the name of the offensive modules.

We jumped into the POS and proceeded to knock down the shields of the weapon modules. We cyno'ed in the dread that was used in the failed hot drop from Todi to help speed up the job. The mods went off line one by one. The POS owner could not do anything as we were set up now and kicking his doors in. He paid the ransom. He then changed the POS module names and apologised for a lapse in judgement in naming his modules as he did.

Winsauce.

Wolf Locked and Loaded

This is in one of The Bastards ship hangar. It just looks very scary and having x4 200mm ACs ripping into your hull at the same time too.

Love the wolf; a very hard hitting one-trick pony. Not as versatile as the jaguar or even the T1 variant, the Rifter. The wolf, amongst assault frigates, just wants to dish out the pain.

I think the above is credited to either Tibberg or San.

Rorqual for the taking...Megathron of FAIL

Rorqual

"Say again? Rorqual?" I repeated. I wasn't too sure if I had heard it right.

"RORQUAL AT THE ROKO GATE IN GULT. POINTED." Said RoninData, increasingly sounding exasperated as no one in the corp believed him. Many were openly questioning his sanity. I mean, who would be bringing in a rorqual into low-sec space AND get himself caught on a gate? Having said that, I could still smell pay day and had scrambled my ship and crew.

"I AM NOT JOKING. RORQUAL ON ROKO GATE. GET YOUR ASSES HERE NOW!" Ordered RoninData; his patience quite clearly thin. There was an operation already underway with the bulk of the pirates, involving ransoms and indiscriminate thuggery. These pirates had global criminal countdowns to consider. Unfortunately, I was unable to attend this operation - having to tend to my many sale orders in order to keep the isk flowing in, but I could get into my ship and complete the four jumps to the Ronin's position.

Back in space, my hurricane was operating smoothly and I had to turn down the volume on the corporation chat channel as other available pirates were all being vectored into Ronin's position. Many espousing complete disbelief. However, on they came; drawn by the prospect of a kill and loot or maybe a ransom.

"HOLY SHIT! HE EJECTED! HE EJECTED!" Exploded RoninData. This was getting more and more fun. I urged my ship onward to get to RoninData and arrived just in time for Tibberg to podkill the bemused pilot. We laughed. We cried. We did the ewok-dance.

What was he thinking of? No doubt, the rorqual pilot was confused about the status of his ship. Maybe he thought it was the much-rumoured orca-class rather than the rorqual? I could just imagine what was going through the mind of the unfortunate pilot, 'Flexflexen' as he luxuriated in his shiny new Rorqual. Now take it away Flex...

Flexflexen> (thinking aloud to himself) 'Mmmmmm I love this ship. Can't wait to pound some rocks with this baby..'

Flexflexen> Rokofur gate control, this is the ZeeCon Corporation mining ship, Flexflexen's Rorqual, requesting permission to jump.

Rokofur gate control> Negative Flexflexen. Only sub-capitals can go through the type-1 and type-2 star gates.

Flexflexen>Er, ok.

Rokofur gate control> Please can you back up and move out of the travel lanes. Thank you. Have a nice day.

Flexflexen>Er, ok.

Flex tries to activate the gates anyway, surely the job-worths on the gate are playing with him, holding him there just so they can oggle the ship?

Rokofur gate control> Flexflexen. This is Rokofur gate control. Stop trying to bump the gate. You can't come through. You risk damaging your ship, other legitimate travellers and the gate. Cease all forward momentum and back up.

Flex continues to fire off gate activation commands and spamming the big, red ACTIVATE button on his dashboard, hammering away at it like a monkey on speed.

Rokofur gate control> Flexflexen. This is Rokofur gate control. What the hell are you doing? You can't come through this gate. You're TOO BIG. Understand? You are a capital-class ship. You can't use star gates.

Flexflexen> But, I want to go to Rokofur...

Rokofur gate control> You can't enter, sorry. Now please will you be so kind as to move away from the travel lanes. Have a nice day.

Now completely confused. Flexflexen tries once more and fires up the engines and tries to force the ship through.

Flexflexen> But, I want to go to Rokofur...

Rokofur gate control> Flexflexen. Stop! Stop it NOW! Are you a fool? You need to get a cynosural field opened up and for you to jump through it. You can not force the ship through. By the Gods!

Flexflexen> A cyno-, what?

There is a minute's stunned silence.

Rokofur gate control> Flexflexen. You are joking right? You do know what a cyno field is and how they are essential for capital-class vessel travel requirements?

Flexflexen>No.....

Rokofur gate control> Oh my God. You're a fool. Do you have any friends or corporation mates online who can generate a cyno-field for you?

Flexflexen>I don't know.

Rokofur gate control>Well talk to them damn it and explain the situation. It's quite clearly, that despite your capsuleer status; you're actually a clue-less idiot. Look, at the very least, can you move your ship off the gate? You can try and dock; there are stations here.

Flexflexen> But, I want to go to Rokofur....

Rokofur gate control>I do NOT care. Just back up and do what I tell you.

Flexflexen> But, I want to go to Rokofur....

The Rorqual-class ship nudges forward once more, convinced that if he can catch an outgoing ship he will be able to slipstream into the next destination.

Rokofur gate control>God damn it Flexflexen. Stop it now!

Flexflexen, now thoroughly confused, bemused with panic building, repeatedly tried to ram the rorqual. He ignored the frantic calls from the gate control as he became fixated with the gate. The very definition of insanity.

However, little did he know that his ship was already spotted and his doom was approaching; the rest is here.

So now the corp has a Rorqual and free jump clones for us. We're also now offering jump clones to anyone for a very decent fee. Yarr.

GOLEM
After scanning and keeping an eye out, the Bastards' information channel went absolutely wild. A Golem-class marauder was spotted. Pirates mobilised and after an hour of sparring - the fight was on; the golem went down under the combined firepower of The Bastards and M34N corp and the butcher's bill was high but much respect to ClawSteel from Bad Passion for having the balls to bring the ship out to play. This ship is currently being sold for between 750-800million isk. A phenomenal amount of money to risk in low-sec but hats off to BAP for bringing it. Yes, we did outnumber them 2 v 1 but we wanted that Golem kill.

Other news:

• Mynxee ( a fellow blogger) graced the Independence Channel and said hi. She has to come down to our neck of the woods and say 'hi' with her crew.
  
• Some lolmails: Megathron fitted with cruiser weapons. Another chap who shouldn't be flying a battleship! He was with a harbinger friend and my last blog post was cut short as I had spied them in local. Also, a hurricane who had most things fitted for all eventualities in low sec.
  
• Loots; there is almost an endless debate about if piracy pays. When I was operating solo, it was tough though not impossible. I hit paydirt occasionally and my overheads were very low. With a larger group - everything starts to get easier. With piracy you live off ransoms, the loot (salvage and dropped items) and pilots paying us protection money. It does work. Check out a very random assortment of loot. It is a fraction of the loot we have collected over the last couple of weeks. The entire list would mean it will go over two pages. I just wanted to show peeps that piracy, done correctly, does pay and very well..
  

Loot:

• 1 x Adaptive Nano Plating II
• 2 x N-Type Apative Nano Membrane
• 2 x BCU II
• 1 x DCU II
• 1 x ECM Multispec II
• 3 x Heavy Ion Blaster II
• 1 x Alumel-Wired I Sensor Booster
• 4 x Warp Disruptor II
• 3994 x Caldari Navy Antimatter charge S
• 3 x Hobgob II
• 1 x Hornet II
• 1 x Cap Recharger II
• 1 x Mag Stab II
• 1 x 1mn MWD II
• 1 x Armor Explosive II
• 1 x Armor Kinetic II
• 2 x MAR II
• 1 x SAR II
• 1 x Prototype Cloaking Device
• 4 x Heavy Ion Blaster II
• 1 x Standard Missile II
• 1 x Remote Sensor Damp II
• 4 x Hammerhead II
• 1 x DCU II
• 3 x Ion Blaster Cannon II
• 1 x Mag Stab II
• 1 x Shield Boost Amp II
• 1 x Warp Disruptor II
• 1 x 1600mm Reinforced Tungsten
• 1 x BCU II
• 2 x Arbalest Cruise
• 3 x PDS II
• 1 x XL-Shield Booster II
• 1 x 10mn AB II
• 1 x Armor Explosive II
• 1 x Armor Kinetic II
• 1 x MAR II
• 4 x Cruise Missle Launcher II
• 1 x PDS II
• 1 x 10mn AB II
• 1 x 10mn MWD II
• 1 x MAR II
• 1 x Medium Cap Battery II
• 1 x Cap Recharger II
• 1 x DCU II
• 1 x Heat Sink II
• 1 x Nanofiber II
• 2 x Infiltrator II
• 1 x Y-T8 Afterburner
• 1 x Improved Cloaking Device II
• 3 x Medium Energy Neut II
• 1 x Medium Nos II
• 2300 x Hail M
• 2 x Dual 180mm AC II
• 3 x Hammerhead II
• 1 x MAR II
• 3 x Heavy Ion Blaster II
• 1 x Mag Stab II
• 1 x HML II
• 2 x PDS II
• 2 x LSE II
• 1 x Invuln II
• 2 x Warrior II
• 1 x 10mn AB II
• 1 x Shadow Serpentis AB
• 1 x Armor Thermic Hardender II
• 1 x EANM II
• 2 x LAR II
• 1 x Heavy Cap Booster II
• 2 x Cap Power Relay II
• 2 x Cap Recharger II
• 1 x DCU II
• 1 x ECM - Multispec II
• 1 x Mag Stab II
• 1 x HML II
• 1 x OD II
• 3 x 220mm AC II
• 2 x Large Shield Transporter II
• 1 x Web II
• 1 x Tracking Computer II
• 1 x Tracking Enhancer II
• 2 x Warrior II
• 1 x 10mn AB II
• 1 x EANM II
• 1 x Heavy Cap Booster II
• 1 x Heavy Unstable Neut
• 2 x Dual Heavy Laser II

Not to forget the Rorqual we liberated.

Goodness me; there's still a lot more but that will be for the next blog post.