12 Jun 2011

Two rubbish ransoms means a slow night....

Two ransoms

Sometimes, you know how a night's roam will end up after the first ten minutes of rolling out a fleet. As we undocked into the familiar Evati space, the comms was buzzing with intelligence reports. I normally have almost a dozen separate chat windows open to various scouts, spies and information brokers always eager to sell information of a mining operation or a boat running a mission or something.

Tonight, everything was quiet. Not a peep from any of the channels and I thought I must be experiencing some technical problem with my communications hub or something and was prepared to kick someone's arse in order to fix it. However, no - there was no technical problem. New Eden, at least for tonight in this constellation was quiet.

Not too bothered the fleet aligned out and prepared for our next out gate; still eager for loot and ransoms. Our communications window flashed up as one of our scouts spotted a ship running through the belt clearing the local pirates; completely oblivious to the sudden entry of our -10.0 forward scout. We didn't have any unaffiliated scouts this time round so it was quite obvious that pirates were about.

Anyway, we managed to get someone and z0de jumped in; here's a copy of the conversation.

[19:34:08] EVE System > Channel MOTD:
This is a stick up! You are being ransomed.
Turn off ALL weapons. Prepare your funds for transfer.
Singing ransoms may be demanded.

Read the Bastard Pass for more info on prices

[21:01:07] z0de > Hello
[21:02:35] Mantasia > hi
[21:02:51] z0de > would you like to save your ship?
[21:03:16] Mantasia > yes , but it is a rupture
[21:03:25] z0de > do you have vent? (Edit: THIS IS SO THAT WE CAN GET HIM TO SING)
[21:03:49] Mantasia > no
The crowd is NOT happy
[21:03:59] z0de > ok, you have to tell us a joke then.
[21:04:05] Mantasia > ok
[21:04:06] z0de > if we laugh we'll let you go.
[21:04:14] z0de > so it better be a good joke.
[21:04:25] Mantasia > ok wait
[21:04:33] DeltsBeta > no google
[21:04:38] Mantasia > no no
[21:04:39] z0de > if local goes up we'll have to kill you.
[21:05:39] Mantasia > We ambused wiccan999  just after the DT ,  ceo  from starwinders who WD us , just before the WD finishes,  ,  oeps is no joke
[21:05:57] Naughty Spawn > .....................................That wasn't funny
[21:06:07] Mantasia > opes , sorry
[21:06:07] JManZA > :/
[21:06:10] z0de > that is a bad joke.
[21:06:11] flashfresh > :-(
[21:06:13] JManZA > : /
[21:06:17] DeltsBeta > :(
[21:06:17] Mantasia > i know
[21:06:21] lord Breathnach > :-(
[21:07:03] z0de > try harder next time.

We killed the chap. 

[21:07:10] EVE System > Mantasia was kicked from the channel by z0de.

Racing around, we managed to get yet another pilot and we wanted a ransom, once more General z0de took charge of the ransom.

[21:34:47] z0de > hello kitty
[21:34:55] Kitty Baugh > Hmm
[21:35:05] z0de > have you got vent?
[21:35:18] Kitty Baugh > Nope
[21:35:20] Kitty Baugh > Lets speak here
[21:35:21] z0de > hmm
[21:35:34] z0de > have you got a microphone?
[21:35:51] Kitty Baugh > Unfortunately no
[21:36:07] z0de > ok, you have to tell us a good joke and we'll let you go.
[21:36:19] Kitty Baugh > Hmm
[21:36:25] Kitty Baugh > What kind of jokes you like
[21:36:37] z0de > good ones.
[21:36:52] Kitty Baugh > Let me think a sec
[21:36:57] z0de > if we laugh you're free.
[21:36:58] z0de > ok
[21:37:43] Kitty Baugh > OW
[21:37:46] Kitty Baugh > WHAT THE HELL (Edit: We fired at him)
[21:38:07] z0de > finger slipped.
[21:38:10] Kitty Baugh > >.>
[21:38:18] Maximillian Maxentius > Google jokes faster
[21:38:19] Kitty Baugh > Is that supposed to put the heat on me?
[21:38:20] Maximillian Maxentius > -.-
[21:38:21] JManZA > :P
[21:38:32] JManZA > I'm a dirty whore.
[21:38:45] DeltsBeta > tick tock
[21:38:49] Kitty Baugh > Wait D:
[21:38:51] Kitty Baugh > Im not googling
[21:38:54] Kitty Baugh > Im seriously thinking
[21:39:30] lord Breathnach > A policeman stopped me the other night, he taps on the window of the car and says: 'Would you please blow into this bag, Sir'. I said: 'What for, Officer?' He says: 'My chips are too hot'. (Edit: This was a good joke, it got a few laughs however, Lord Breathnach is a Bastard...)
[21:39:39] Leroxee > quick, we have itchy fingers
[21:40:06] Naughty Spawn > not horrible i suppose
[21:40:09] lord Breathnach > I went to the doctor the other day I said 'have you got anything for wind?' so he gave me a kite. (Edit: Lord B is on fire tonight...)
[21:40:18] JManZA > whats red and goes like a bomb?...
[21:40:20] JManZA > ...a red bomb
[21:40:39] Kitty Baugh > Went outta the chat
[21:41:04] Naughty Spawn > ya sure ya dont gots 20 mill ?
[21:41:21] lord Breathnach > I had a ploughman's lunch the other day. He wasn't very happy.
[21:41:27] Naughty Spawn > the joke kinda flopped : /
[21:41:44] z0de > hurry kitty, getting bored.
[21:42:27] Kitty Baugh > An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.The next
[21:42:32] Kitty Baugh > DAMNIT WAT?
[21:42:42] Kitty Baugh > Stop shooting while I copy and paste crap!
[21:42:51] Naughty Spawn > continue ....
[21:43:00] flashfresh > You're not much of a stand up....
[21:43:03] JManZA > you mean its not original?
[21:43:12] lord Breathnach > heckle heckle
[21:43:13] JManZA > come on come on
[21:43:24] DeltsBeta > no laughter
[21:43:26] Kitty Baugh > 'The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.''
[21:43:37] DeltsBeta > give 20 mil or die
[21:43:49] JManZA > wat?
[21:43:49] z0de > rubbish joke
[21:43:53] Kitty Baugh > Hmm
[21:43:53] JManZA > :(
[21:43:56] Kitty Baugh > Lemme get another
[21:44:06] DeltsBeta > no time 20 mil or die (Edit: We blew up his ship at this point)
[21:44:24] Kitty Baugh > Thats just impolite
[21:44:38] z0de > ok want to save your pod
[21:44:40] z0de > ?
[21:44:46] Kitty Baugh > I wouldn't mind it
[21:45:02] DeltsBeta > 100 mil
[21:45:19] Kitty Baugh > Because someone whos been playing for a week has 100 mil?
[21:45:40] Kitty Baugh > I have about 30k of
[21:45:41] Kitty Baugh > Well (Edit: We blew up his pod at this point)
[21:45:45] Kitty Baugh > You enjoy that?
[21:45:48] z0de > we did give you a chance, better luck next time.
[21:45:49] DeltsBeta > no
[21:45:55] Kitty Baugh > Lol
[21:45:59] DeltsBeta > lol :)
[21:46:03] Kitty Baugh > Enjoy your crappy loot
[21:46:07] Naughty Spawn > work on the jokes mate
[21:46:08] z0de > we wont.
[21:46:09] Kitty Baugh > Too bad I had to lose my implants
[21:46:14] Kitty Baugh > >.>
[21:46:15] Naughty Spawn > soz
[21:46:19] Kitty Baugh > Eh
[21:46:25] Kitty Baugh > Id have done the same if I were you guys
[21:46:28] z0de > o/
[21:46:33] EVE System > Kitty Baugh was kicked from the channel by z0de.
Effective until 2011.05.31 21:47:33.

We managed to snag a ferox but that was it; a slow night with some humour thrown in!

The Meatshields keeping the kill board active

Our younger brethren, the Meatshield Bastards are racing around low-sec: under-skilled, under-gunned but big on balls as they attempt to kill and ransom anything that moves. Hats off to these chaps, they're great.