Flashfresh - The Pirate.

Happy New Year, boy we love them POCOs and Drunk Roam!

2012-01-18T16:37:00.049Z

The Bastards: Rested, Reloaded and Ready

Chill with a drink and fag

2012 seems The Bastards back with all guns blazing. December of last year, after much negotiation - we entered into an agreement with our erstwhile rivals, Los Chupababras. Despite the hispanic name, the majority of the chaps are Italians. A link-up with joint fleets and comms was organised and tentatively, we went out as a combined fleet. The results, I have to say, have been very pleasing and lucrative for both groups. Now, instead of hunting each other we would go after other targets usually in a combined fleet of between 12-20 ships. A nice number, large enough to take on most things in low-sec but small enough to avoid the much bigger (usually null-sec aligned) groupings. It has been six weeks now and things are just getting better. Certainly, the response from all the pilots have been positive.

Now why did The Bastards agree to such a link up in the first place? Our patch of low-sec has seen an upswing of larger, more well organised groups roaming through. This is all well and good for low-sec space, long regarded by many as a barren desert of woe. However, for residents such as ourselves we frequently found ourselves out-numbered 3-1 or more. Now, when cornered we can and do fight as hard as anyone but our primary goal is to survive and hold the field so we can pick the loot and/or engage in one or two cheeky ransoms. If we can disengage and fight another day (preferably in the same ship!) then so much the better. So our choice was to adapt or be brushed aside and become irrelevant. We adapted and it has proven to be a good decision. Certainly, the board of directors at The Bastards have supported this. What? You didn't think that there were corporate structures at The Bastards?

POCO?

Let's blow it up....

We love POCOs? What on earth is that? Sounds like some medical term for a pimple on one's arse or a Californian pop group. In fact, it stands for 'Player Owned Custom Offices'. With the latest (wonderful) release of the Eve client, this was one of many new features added and thereby enriching us all.

OK, so why the love for them? Well, we've managed to get plenty of fights after knocking one or two of these chappies down. They are similar to a small player owned stations (POS) without the guns. With no guns (or neutralisers, webbers etc) they are relatively 'safe' to engage. We have attacked a POCO with just two stealth bombers. It took ages but it is possible. Having the POCOs in our home system also means that we can ship up or down (or sideways) very easily as the situation dictates.

You knock down the POCO's shields (usually 10,000,000 HP) and it drops into reinforced mode for a period of approximately 24 hours. When in this mode, it is invulnerable to all further attack. This gives the owner time to gather personnel to repair the shields once it leaves reinforced. The timer is visible to anyone in local and of course, the attackers also know when the POCO leaves reinforced.

So 24 hours later, and cue fights. Or not.

Either way, The Bastards regard the presence of POCOs as an opportunity to harass and annoy as well as setting up an environment for a fight. Since we live in Evati, we can easily jump into battle cruisers (or stealth bombers) or the yummy new tier-3 battle cruisers and batter a POCO. A small fleet (about 10 ships) can get a POCO down in about 15 minutes. Since we're not a big alliance, this works out beautifully when we're waiting for a fleet to get established, pilots to come back from being afk or if it is a particularly quiet night.

Speaking of a quiet night - I don't think we've had one in since the new year. My first blog entry in January comes on the 16th day and this is because everything has been just so damn busy and fun. The first year started off with kills galore and while I don't want to go through kills (and losses) in any detail, though some memorable events do come to mind including a crazy evening when we engaged an EVE-UNION fleet (after we had reinforced one of their POCOs) which then pulled in both Shadow Cartel and Black Soul Industries. Unfortunately for The Bastards, we were caught in the middle. EVE-UNION has a video available here of the night's fight from their viewpoint.Another night, Marco and I were chucking torps at another POCO and it was late for both of us. We were so tired we practically fell asleep made worse by 1) still having a GCC and 2) warping to a gate and not jumping instantly. Needless to say, we both lost our hounds, much to my horror (but only after I woke up) - very surprised that no-one actually took the opportunity to pod me!

In between these POCO bashes we've been roaming around. The population in this section of low-sec has increased significantly and it is most likely due to the presence of 100s of TEST alliance pilots, now relocated to Otosela so they can base their strikes into Vale of Silent and Geminate Regions. What fun.

So, I do make an offer to my fellow pirates in the Metropolis / Molden Heath / Heimatar region: we are more than happy to set-up a fight on numerous POCOs and we would greatly welcome the extra muscle that some of our bigger friends can bring. Please contact either me, TFS Tibbs, Marco Drack or TheHermit for more details please.

The Bastards will remain a medium sized corporation so we can't bring in dreads and carriers without bankrupting ourselves as we're poor pirates. Unless there's someone with deep pockets who can give us all the capital ships we need?

No?

Thought so.

DRUNK ROAM

Pirate love a pint or two

Date:
3rd February 2012
Friday Night; 21:00
Location: Somewhere close to Akkio

Yes, the first drunk roam of 2012 is being organised. I have the above dates as two possible options and will see which one has the most yes votes/comments. My liver has had sufficient time to recover from the last drunk roam and I went easy over christmas too. So I feel a bit more robust but we shall see.

THE BASTARDS' DRUNK ROAM REQUIREMENTS:

A FUN roam, no sad faces!! Come out of the Captain's quarters and fly spaceships and get drunk!!

1. Join the in-game channel 'INDEPENDENCE' for details and fleet pick up and vent info on the day.

2. Any T1 frigate/cruiser fitted out with whatever you want.

3. Yes, fit a rupture with lasers if you want.

4. Or a thorax with arties and missiles.

5. Or a rifter with a cruiser sized weapon.

6. Or bring a Celestis.

7. Mix your weapon systems. Why? because we can and that's how we roll.

8. Points required of course, we can't have people running away.

Pirate forcing someone to drink to excess

9. We each drink a shot of spirits (or beer) every half hour during the roam and after each ship kill and after each ship loss and for every ransom.

10. Aim is to see who can stay up for the longest.

11.Needs to be frapsed with some vent recordings as well.

12. If you decide to fit a stab (why not?) then you have to say 'STABBED!' in local, take a shot of alcohol and then RUN like the wuss you are when you get tackled. If you do this and get smack - everyone else will need to take a shot on your behalf.

13. Any other rules that the FC wants to make up...

Interested? Then contact us using the one of the following methods:

1. Post a comment here; with a yes or no. A drunken ship type would be good too.

2. Contact Flashfresh on flashfresh@the-bastards.com

3. Contact TheHermit on thehermit@the-bastards.com

4. Contact Flashfresh or TheHermit or Shizraak ingame via conversation or evemail

5. Twitter: #tweetfleet

Go on, it will be fun.

OTHER STUFFAdministrative
I have had the usual stack of administrative tasks assigned to me and this included the unpleasant (but necessary) task of booting inactive members from the corporation. We've had some chaps who have not been online for well over 12 months and not a word to anyone if they're coming back. So the corporation is slimming down drastically in Q1, 2012. We're also going to be restocking our ship hangars with shiny kit and I just have to set up a roam with mainly tier-3 battle cruisers. I know many corporations have already done this with excellent results.

EVE-Tribue and Penelope Starr
We were honoured to have Penelope Starr, a writer for Eve-Tribune with us for a bit leading up to the new year. She wanted to find out more about low-sec piracy and fleet work for an article and I was happy to contribute. Her excellent article: 'The First Rules of Target Calling' is a great read. Highly recommended.

Marco is the new CEO
A little birdy just told me that Marco is now the new CEO...excellent news, make him primary!

The Bastards 2012, refreshed and reloaded. We are of course, still recruiting so click on this link for details if you are interested in joining up.

For Mike! Rolling around low-sec; the BCs still rule & Christmas is only days away!

2011-12-28T12:15:00.000Z

Tornado, love it.

Crucible
With the introduction of the new tier-3 beasties; the battle cruiser class ships has definitely been given a boost. There are rumours that the tier-3 are all over-powered but we've killed a fair few already so I don't think they are over-powered - yet. I have undocked in my tornado a few times and loved it but never had a chance to fly it out in a fleet. I am also busy thinking up of a counter-fleet for these beasties and armour hac gangs comes to mind. Of course, I am happy for my idea to be challenged but would be interested in hearing from other pilots what their thoughts are on countering these beauties (apart from an even bigger fleet - am interested in the rock, paper, scissors approach).

However, it doesn't mean that all the tier-1 and tier-2 battle cruiser ships are now relegated to a secondary role. Oh heavens no. Due to the much higher cost of the tier-3, one can still get 2-3 tier-2 battle cruisers, rigged and fitted for the same price of the tier-3. A fair trade in my opinion.

As a pirate, being isk-efficient is paramount to long-term survival and The Bastards still fly with the tier-2 battle cruisers as our main ship-of-the-line.

Still, I cannot ignore that Crucible has been a magnificient expansion with little tweaks and fixes here and there as well as some wholesale changes. Hell, CCP even decided to give us some christmas presents! I decided on the CA-2 implant but then realised that I never did pick up the CA-1 implant! (doh)

The Last Four Weeks - FOR MIKE!

So, what has been going on in the world of The Bastards? A busy period for us for sure; the month of November and December have been especially active and this has coincided with our decision to work more closely with our erstwhile rivals, 'Los Chupacabras' who live in the station opposite us. Now, like all good pirates we've been tussling for space and loot since their appearance about two years ago and would occasionally work together when the circumstances required it, I mean when a carrier is tackled you just have to put aside your differences and pile in don't you? In fact, there was an embryonic relationship between The Bastards, Los Chupacabras and Mean Coalition already forming as a response to a concentrated (albeit brief and unsuccesful) effort by a bunch of anti-pirates in cleaning up Heimatar and Metropolis earlier this year. Since then, Mean Coalition has wandered off into null-sec and hold some space somewhere in Vale.

Anyway, I have had the pleasure of leading our new composite fleets the last month or so and I must say, the results are immensely satisfying. One of our outings was into Helgatid after a scout of ours (love having them in the opposition camp!) reported back that Shades of Gray alliance were business demolishing a Customs Office and putting up one of their own. Even better, they had a few of the tier-3 battle cruisers out and smattering of cruisers and support ships.

We rumbled our ships across to the Helgatid gate and held as I waited a few more seconds for the fleet to assemble. Then I gave the order to jump and warp straight to the Custom Office in question. The sudden jump in local now doubt was noted; I didn't have any heavy tackle with me - but I did have MaxUrsa in his Stiletto! We arrived and the Shades of Gray pilots were already aligning but we wanted to grab the bigger ships: the tornado, the talos and some battle ships. I called my targets and proceeded to fire on them. With tracking disruptors fitted, the large calibre weapons on the talos and tornado could not hit much of anything. All the Shades of Gray smaller ships fled the field, leaving the larger ships to fend for themselves. I think this was a mistake; their cruisers should have stayed and kept some of us pointed. Anyway, now we had to be quick as this was the home system of Shades of Gray and no doubt, we expected them to ship up and to come straight back out. Local was also in their favour as I counted about 30 other pilots. Ordering the fleet to overload our weapons we popped the enemy ships sequentially with no loss of ships on our side. We didn't even have logistical support but we held to our motto of 'Overwhelming DPS, then GTFO!' Grabbing all the tasty loot we expected a counter attack and I started to align the fleet out.We didn't want to get caught with a cargohold full of loot now did we? We had families to feed.

The fleet battle summary is here.

Oddly, no counter-attack came. It looks like most of the pilots in local were away or decided that discretion was the better part of valor and stayed put. No problem, a wise decision especially if one isn't organised. We saluted the Shades of Gray pilots and left local, eager to divvy up the loot. Oh, this unfortunate Stiletto was caught by Max and Marco. I don't think it was part of the Shades of Gray but it was caught anyways. Actually, Shades did come back out this time with BCs and BS class ships to continue the destruction of the Custom Office. We thought it was a trap but maybe I should have ordered our ships back in?

Another fleet, a week later was just as much fun but involving the Eve University. Our fleet was actually split up across multiple systems but Marco, King, Nicho and Beauty found themselves in the Hagilur pocket. Eve University were around and they couldn't resist taking a bite out of Marco and co. They jumped him while I listened in on communications. It seemed quite even but a scout (spy) told us that Eve University had dozens of active pilots in the system next door and were already undocking battle ships and blackbirds to assist in Marco's take down.

So we moved in, my timing was a bit off however as we arrived on top of Marco and his assailants before their Eve Uni help could assist. Nonetheless we took them all down, failing to catch their frigates that had warped in as well as losing point on their blackbird and (to my disappointment) one of their battle ships that wisely came in at range, turned tail and fled.

Well done to the Unistas for disengaging smoothly.

A day or so later, another combined fleet engaged some of the most fun-loving pirates in New Eden - 'The Defenders of Pen Island' in Arnher. I wasn't there but I was told it was a fun, and rather one-sided affair. However, we're all pirates and not knights of old, no hard feelings. We want loot and isk and the ability to hold the field so that we can also salvage. Nothing more. It's all about the isk. Am sure the Pen Island chaps understand this fully. There are two battle summaries from our side: The Bastards and Los Chupabras. Ernie, from Los Chupas also made a video but he has been roundly lambasted for having a terrible overview and having no music!

Once again, salutations to our fellow pirates of Flashy Red for a good tussle.

With christmas festivities on the horizon, it was time for the annual pre-christmas roam for The Bastards. What do you mean you don't celebrate christmas in New Eden? Bah - humbug. Yet more Eve university fun as I led another fleet out; this time with Penelope Star of Eve-tribune fame in tow. We also invited Mike Azaria (check his blog out here) to the fleet who was going to bring a sacrificial tornado to add to the fun but he had to drop out. We promised to lose the tornado and fight 'For Mike!'. Alas, we fought but the tornado stubbornly stayed alive. Next time Mike, next time.

Anyway, we found some Unistas and promptly overwhelmed them on the Dudreda gate. Nothing gallant about it, we just battered them. No idea why they were camping the gate - I never realised that they had pirate tendencies? Ironically, we weren't even after the Unistas - they were in our way as we were en route to ambush another fleet thanks to a tip-off by a friend in the nearby system of Arifsdald. These chaps, Obsidian Front were busy bashing a Customs Office and while they are over 130 AUs from our ingate, we were assured by a friend that they were not aligned.

So we piled in and groaned as we entered into warp towards our targets 133 AUs away. It seemed to take forever and already, our friend had told us that our target ships were aligning to get out. We landed and threw points onto the tier-3 battle cruisers (our 'kill-as-many-tier-3-battle-cruiser' competition is still running!) and grabbed four of their ships. A carrier also landed but without enough neutralisers or a heavy interdictor we couldn't pin it down long enough to kill it. Bumping by us just plain failed. A pity. Still, loot was gathered and no losses so success in my books.

Right after this engagement we rested just off a gate when we spotted a Vigil sitting about 230km from us. Now, I am not paranoid or anything but this chap shouted 'SCOUT!' and I did not want to get dropped by anyone. We had a cloaked ship sneak up to the vigil pilot and then I sent that crazy Dutchman, Dil'e Mahn to do the deed. He locked, pointed and killed the hapless frigate.

Of course, locking the pod and killing him with everyone on the killmail was a requirement but the chat in local was a bonus.

Theseus kingslayer > where did you all go?
Theseus kingslayer > i brought back a noob ship for you to shoot at this time
Dil'e Mahn > excellent
Theseus kingslayer > you bunch of bored idiots
Dil'e Mahn > we'll see if we can fit you into our busy schedules
Theseus kingslayer > a vigil for all that effort..
Theseus kingslayer > i don't know...
Dil'e Mahn > a man's gotta eat, a wise man once said
Nichonostra > I lack of anything else
Nichonostra > ur vigil was AWESOME
stockin > a spine?
Dil'e Mahn > check, I have one
Theseus kingslayer > there wasn't much in there you know
Dil'e Mahn > it was there
Dil'e Mahn > it was cluttering up my overview
Dil'e Mahn > it just had to go
Dil'e Mahn > nothing personal, sir
Dil'e Mahn > just keeping space a safe and clean environment for everyone.
Theseus kingslayer > but you are the danger to space.. i was a neutral
Dil'e Mahn > all a matter of perspective, I'd say
Dil'e Mahn > what if a new player was flying around and accidentally ran into your vigil?
Shizraak > we aren't a danger to space
Shizraak > just the ships in it....
Dil'e Mahn > consider the material damages, trauma...
Theseus kingslayer > space is very big.. the possibility is almost 0
Theseus kingslayer > more like .00000000000000000000000000000000000000000001
Dil'e Mahn > still
Dil'e Mahn > that's more than "not at all"
Dil'e Mahn > I can understand your annoyance, but you have to understand that you cannot just go and park ships all over the place
ogf > all of the lag :/
Theseus kingslayer > so you all feeding your kids with scrap metal tonight from the vigil kill eh?
Dil'e Mahn > no, we were thinking of using the corpse for that
Shizraak > omnomnom
Theseus kingslayer > yeah, thanks for lagging out my computer by all getting in on a pod kill
ReBeLSKuLL > yummy tummy corspy in my tummy
ReBeLSKuLL > np, here, a souvenir for you! http://the-bastards.com/kb/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=22817
Dyrius Okel > YARR!!!!
Theseus kingslayer > only 17??
Theseus kingslayer > there were 20 of you
Dil'e Mahn > we tried to get more people on
Nichonostra > CARRRRRRRR
Theseus kingslayer > someone pulled the trigger too fast
Dil'e Mahn > yes
Dil'e Mahn > there's always one, isn't there
Nichonostra > It wasnt me
ReBeLSKuLL > sorry guys, i blew it
Dil'e Mahn > *sigh*
Dil'e Mahn > we discussed this, rebel
Dil'e Mahn > well, good day, sir
Dil'e Mahn > fly safe now
ReBeLSKuLL > good day, merry xmas :P
Theseus kingslayer > never
Dil'e Mahn > and remember: parking at a station is <b>free</b>.
Theseus kingslayer > alwasy fly dangerously

A day or so later; yet another fleet and we battered through Eve University; again our battle cruisers simply smashing through the out-matched students in their mixed cruiser / battle cruiser / interceptor fleet with no losses on our side. The report is here. It was only even in numbers as they were caught on a gate and couldn't use their better mobility and speed to exit the fight. Bad luck chaps. We're not singling out the Unistas, honest! However, it does look like low-sec roaming is part of their current school curriculum and long may this continue but please fit better mods so that we can loot it!

A student being dragged off...somewhere

KING and NICHO - the deadly duo.
After a 12 month absence, where they came close to being released from The Bastards, these two deadly pirates came back into our orbit and the first thing they both said was, 'what can I kill?' In any organisation and in all fleets, you need some pilots who are willing to engage almost crazy odds. Where fear isn't a word they recognise (or common sense!) and they go literally, balls to the wall. Pilots like these galvanise the rest of the organisation and inspire people to get active and to join in. I love these guys and they are HUNGRY and aggressive. Do not take your eyes off them for a second and like salvering, starving wolves, they can be forced (by their very nature) to go after prey in the most difficult (silly) circumstances as illustrated below.

King, in his Dramiel spotted an Ibis sitting on a station, minding his own business. Now in low-sec, of course you have to take care and one cannot rely on the station and gate guns to protect you. However, when you're being buzzed by a dramiel, it is unlikely that an any aggressive action will occur right? Especially for an expensive Dramiel for a lowly Ibis?

No. King, decided to fire on the Ibis and pop it.

In a dramiel, right under the noses of the automated sentry guns? Surely not? King is a good pilot and was already aligned and full speed but well, something didn't work out.

http://the-bastards.com/kb/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=22759

Still, these two guys are invaluable members of the team and if you see either of these two in local, beware and looking at the killboards I can see that they continue to be busy even in the christmas break!

Future plans

We are continuing to recruit pirates and will welcome more in 2012. Our recruitment thread is here. If you want to experience the pirate life, play Eve in 'super hard mode', then look no further.

There will be a drunk roam organised, I thought it would be very unwise for me to organise one this side of the festitivies as I doubt very much my liver can handle it. However, there should be one organised in January 2012 and I will have one of our drinking captains (Shizraak) be the secondary fleet commander, God help you all.

However, to all my friends, enemies and customers - I wish you all a merry christmas and a peaceful and restful new year. The Bastards will be back in 2012, reloaded and rebooted and rested. I cannot wait.

Of course, a christmas greeting from The Bastards needs a jolly white fat man with a beard dressed in red and trimmed with white fur, so here it is:

Kill the new battle cruisers!!

2011-12-07T16:34:00.000Z

What do points make? PRIZES!

Red Vegas should be proud. With the new tier-3 battle cruisers hitting the markets, Vegas wanted to inject some fun and excitement into the month and he came up with an idea. Here's his post from our forums (shameless content padding I know!!):

CONTEST
Fellow Pirates and Bastards!
I have a contest for you this December to break in the Crucible Winter Expansion. After talking with Flash I have kept the contest sweet and simple.

Kill as many Tier 3 Battlecruisers as you can get your turrets on. You must be involved in the most solo/fleet killmails of the new Tier 3 Battlecruisers. That's it, your prize will be a Tier 3 Battlecruiser of your choice

PRIZES
Oracle [http://wiki.eveonline.com/en/wiki/Oracle]
Naga [http://wiki.eveonline.com/en/wiki/Naga]
Talos [http://wiki.eveonline.com/en/wiki/Talos]
Tornado [http://wiki.eveonline.com/en/wiki/Tornado]

One hull of any race!

You will also receive a medal for your hard work and dedication from The Bastards corporation.

MEDAL
VEGAS' Winter Challenge

DURATION
End of 2011

CURRENT LEADERBOARD
Marco drack = 4
TFS Tibbs = 3
z0de = 3
Harlon Mathuin = 2
Dil'e Mahn = 2
flashfresh = 2
Nichonostra = 1
Max Ursa = 1

Now, I actually took receipt of a new Tornado class battle cruiser a few days ago and fitted it with T2 800mm repeating artillery pieces but am a tad worried about losing it. I saw how these things can melt oh-so quickly under concentrated fire. In any fleet we come up, these things will be primary. Other fleets we meet up will probably do the same thing. I wonder if one can make a bait tier-3 battle cruiser?

Anyway, we had a tremendous amount of fun last night bagging another two more such battle cruisers along with a handful of battle ships. Give and take during the evening for sure but that is the fun of New Eden right now, the new upgrades certainly have given pilots a shot in the arm. Am in the process of writing it up last night's fun and will update the blog soon with new content.

Winter Expansion, the fury of a Tornado and the Oracle speaks....

2011-12-02T23:46:00.001Z

So the winter expansion is here and I love it: ships, fonts, nebulae to name three. However, I will leave the analysis of this most wonderful of expansions to another time; let's talk about piracy!

Seeing Tibbs fly the Tornado within hours of the BPO being made available was a great. I was honoured to see this brute fly and destroy a poor unsuspecting Vexor. It didn't survive a concentrated double volley from this monster.

Of course, being pirates we had to come up with something relating to killing and it was Vegas who offered up a competition: the most kills of the new tier-3 battle cruisers would get their choice of any tier-3 battle cruiser (Naga, Tornado, Oracle or Talos) - what a prize!
The evening kicked off with a few kills by our mixed fleet: a raven, a drake etc but then we had reports of at least one, maybe two tier-3 battle cruisers! They were in Todifrauan and we just had to pay them a visit! z0de went off ahead with his megathron, determined to get a piece of the action; as he approached - he gave us an update:

"Two oracles!" Oh sweetness I said, surely a worthy target for us. The z0de added: "You do know it is bait and we're running straight into a trap?"

"Hell yes!" Chorused The Bastards, completely undaunted by death.

A pause and then z0de added:

"A Tornado, a hurricane, 'rax and some support." I glanced at our fleet: a typhoon, four hurricanes and a drake. That would do. We warped to the ingate though there was no call from z0de for us to jump in. The excitement started to build up.

"Ok, more are coming in. I think they want a fight!" shouted z0de as his weapons went active. We jumped and my overview filled up with targets. We were outnumbered at least 2 to 1. However, we had one target: any one of the three new battle cruisers. Scared? hell no.

z0de called the targets as we got range on the Oracle. Our guns barked and shells, rounds, missiles and drones streaked out. The enemy, mainly from the Shades of Grey Alliance answered back with equal fury. Without logistical support, we could only rely on local buffer tanks and speed, completely inadequate but no, we had our target and nothing, not even our fiery deaths would stop it. Raelyf, was the first to go down, the calm pirate merely muttering 'Raelyf, down,' as his hurricane was torn to shreds, the fate of being set to primary.

To my port side, and slightly below was the battle cruiser of TFS Tibbs, one of the best solo pirates that The Bastards have. He had at least five ships surrounding him and he was trading furious broadsides with them all. However, once his shield generators burnt out, it was only a matter of seconds before terminal hull breach.

"We're burning up!"

A screaming missile buried itself deep inside the drake's superstructure before detonating.

"Tibbs is down." Two pirates down.

"More incoming, shit a Loki and a Talos and Dramiel. Kill the Dram, kill it! I am scrammed." It sounded like z0de or Marco but it was difficult to hear due to the sub-space distortions from the many weapon system types all firing. From my position, I could see Red Vegas in his hurricane started to drift sideways as his engines were blown out from behind him. He and his crew continued to fire, even when they had time to punch out.

"Steady lads! We can kill them!"

A caracal swept past my hurricane, I ordered my gun crews to target it as well as a thorax that was within optimal range. I opened up with my howitzers just as Red Vegas' hurricane disappeared in a flash of light and debris. My hurricane rocked as the shockwave washed over me. I hit the micro warp drive to get some range as I was being yellow boxed.

"Vegas is down." The voice was garbled and I just caught sight of a battered capsule racing off. There was little sign of any crew escape launches however - most must have been caught up in the conflaguration and were atomised.

Three pirates down.

The Oracle battle cruiser wasn't going down, whatever was installed for it's shield tank was not dying. Fair play to the engineers who had fitted this beast together. z0de switched primary to the Tornado and he started to give chase in his megathron! Marco in his typhoon followed, his engines glowing white hot as it pushed the venerable Minnie battle ship ahead and after both the Tornado and z0de's megathron.

Meanwhile, we had scored a kill on an enemy Hurricane, thorax and a caracal but no Oracle or Tornado! So a poor trade. The battle space was thick and crowded. Bits of flaming space junk spinning away.

Edney, also in a hurricane tried to get out of range of the fire from the Loki, Oracle and Talos but he was hopelessly outgunned and couldn't return adequate fire. Warp scrambled and blind, Edney tried to ram the nearest enemy ship, ploughing through the remains of Tibbs' drake wreckage and determined to go down while taking something with him. Alas, it was futile and he and his crew blasted out in their capsules and escape pods as the hurricane exploded.

"Edney down."

Four pirates down. It was looking grim for The Bastards.

"Shit, there's still more of the them." Muttered Marco as he surveyed the enemy ships around him and a couple warped in. Already, his capacitor was dangerously low and he had little left to fight back but he kept up the pursuit along with z0de.

Red klaxons flashed as I was warp scrambled by a dramiel (are they still viable?) and taking fire from one of the two Oracle, the Tornado, vagabond and few others. I tried to drop below the plane and ordered my drones onto the dramiel. Speed and some nifty flying might get me out of this. Meanwhile, z0de and Marco, still in pursuit of the Tornado had the enemy battle cruiser down to structure but it was too late: z0de's megathron was on fire in at least six places and half of his guns burnt out and useless. Ploughing ahead, z0de didn't give up.

I watched helplessly as battle ship calibre weapons zeroed in me and battered my hurricane to pieces. Without any logistic support or a local active tank, I was doomed. My micro warp drive was offline thanks to the dramiel and I was being battered. I whipped out my pod but could see z0de and Marco (both ships now on fire and shedding molten metal) still in hot pursuit of the Tornado.

"Flash is down. Good luck gentleman, die well!"

With a roar, both z0de and Marco overloaded their engines in a last ditch attempt to close the gap and make our first kill of the new class of battle cruiser. It was a brave but foolish attempt as the last two Bastards attracted the full attention of the enemy fleet and they were atomised.

The report ends with success: a fleet from Black Soul Industries (I think) piled into EM and Shades soon after our demise and managed to kill off the Tornado amongst other ships types. .

The butcher's bill:

The Bastards
Megathron (lost)
Typhoon (lost)
Hurricane (lost)
Hurricane (lost)
Hurricane (lost)
Hurricane (lost)
Drake (lost)

Shades of Grey/Electus Matari
Hurricane
Tornado
Oracle
Oracle
Vagabond
Loki
Thrasher
Caracal
Thorax
Dramiel
Thrasher
Talos
Hurricane

God, being a pirate - love it.

Playing like Elite

2011-11-23T23:48:00.001Z

Flash's Gaming PC on Tue Night....

Why doesn't New Eden have a super low-fi and lite version for their interface? I say this because my main rig blew up on tuesday night. My only back up was my battered work laptop and man, was it struggling, even with everything else turned down to low.

I need something even simpler than the lowest setting on New Eden, yes - I need wireframes and DOS based graphics. I need.....Elite.

Check this out, some of you may even be old enough to remember the glory of this most influential game - the super graphics, the game-play and the vastness of the universe, replicated perfectly each time. All for under 64K of RAM too. If EVE had an 'elite' setting, with super low and simplified graphics, I would be playing this setting all the time. Hell, I would be trying to play this on my netbook, my smart book even! Check out a screen-shot from a bygone era:

GET POINT! GET A POINT ON IT!!!!!

Can I say, winter is coming!

2011-11-09T12:28:00.000Z

2 v 1 - surrounded but what a fight!

It was a quiet night; most of the Bastards were out and about or had taken time off from the tricky world of piracy. I decided that, after chatting to a few acquaintances, to stretch the old sea legs for a bit. Selecting the venerable rifter; I shot out into the blackness of space and started looking for trouble. Local was the usual welcoming sight of pirates, brigands and clueless newbs, so I didn't have to go far. I landed in Todifrauan and missed a cyclone that had left the gate. Holding my cloak, I tried to use the directional scanner to get a better view of him and determined that he had zipped towards planet III. I sent the rifter racing after him. As I arrived, I caught a ghost of his ship and the tell-tale sign of a ship immediately warping out.

I tried again and once again, he slipped away. Fair play to the cyclone pilot who was making me chase him. He then dissappeared from local and I calculated that he was most likely in Arnstur. Pushing the rifter towards the gate I suddenly spotted a pair of new pilots, both from the same corporation. I should have noted the cyclone's affiliation and compared it with the these two new chappies; maybe friends?

The star gate sent me through into Arnstur and the cyclone pilot was in local. I held cloak and tried to determine his location, there was a flash on the stargate as another ship came in after me. An examination of local informed me it was one of the pair of newcomers, one system back. I quickly accelerated off the gate and towards what I assumed to be the most likely location of the cyclone. Pinging the directional scanner ahead of me revealed that the cyclone had already moved. I landed inside the asteroid belt and got into an orbit as I tried to figure out who was around me.

The cyclone was still around in space but a malediction was spotted on my scanner and it was getting nearer. I primed my webber and disruptor and decided that this interceptor would be a good snack. Sure enough, the distinctive shape of the Amarrian interceptor burst into space and I quickly fired off my tackle modules. He landed just a touch outside my web range but I had him pointed. Likewise, so did he. With it's superior speed, the malediction got into a comfortable 23km range. My barrage rounds could reach out to him but did neglible damage. The interceptor pilot was one of the duo who came in and his partner, sure enough appeared - this time in a dramiel.

It now looked a bit worse for me. The dramiel also was outside of my web range. I overloaded my micro warp drive but the use of the disruptor had depleted my capacitor just when the dramiel volleyed me and sent his warrior drone after me. My armour repairer and x3 small armor tri-marks meant that I had significant amount of armour to chew through but I could last for too long.

My rifter died and I was podded too. First pod death this year and fair play to the two pilots; a great job by them they're welcome to the loot.

Of course, one cannot keep a pirate down long and a days later, I led a fleet to go roaming; the usual roll around the neighbourhood. We took down a tempest, stabber, rupture, maelstrom, mammoth a rifter and a hulk but comically, we lost Shizraak (in his rapier) to some pos guns.

Pod killing someone on a gate was the most fun: I was in my arty hurricane and somehow managed to lock the unfortunate pilot of the rifter and ended up popping him. No idea why he didn't jump, he certainly wasn't AFK.

Winter is coming!

It was with some considerable interest that I listened in on a conversation with one of my pirate captains, something about a new battle cruiser hull that could indeed hold battle ship class weapons? Say it ain't so! However it appears to be true, the new tier-3 BCs all can support battle ship class weapons. While The Bastards cannot take any credit for the idea of jamming a weapon system one class above the ship's hull; we certainly have been doing it enough times. It is our infamous 'Oversized clip and carbine' roams, some of which I noted down for prosperity. We've also flew frigates with oversized guns, cruisers with over sized guns but have yet to move onto battle ships with capital ship guns. The latter should be a challenge for sure.

Hulk Smash

I had to include this section, this is lifted from a forum post by one of our more active and most polite pirates: TFS Tibbs. With no further ado, here it is:

So after finding a wormhole to deepest nullsec and landing on a macro-mining operation this happened:

http://the-bastards.com/kb/?a=kill_related&kll_id=22386

and then this spewed out in local...

HCS:damn faggots
TFS:lol - so much for your macros
HCS:you stupid bitches are still here
HCS:get out of our system
TFS:Its now my system - damn macro cheaters
HCS:ahaha, you got lucky, thats all
TFS:macros suck dude - don't use em
HCS:you suck asswipe
HCS:think you know all?
TFS:yes
HCS:why you think you got me
HCS:didnt use macro
HCS:get the fuck out and dont return
HCS:fags
TFS:actually you may be right - a macro would have warped
TFS:so much fascination on being gay - very telling
TFS:anyways - thanks for the stuff - fly safer next time!

Basically, TFS Tibbs was out doing his own thing and had stumbled upon what he thought was a mining op. Quickly changing to his hurricane, he returned and proceeded to exact righteous fury on what he mistakeningly had thought to be a macro operation. It turned out it wasn't but the smack talk was funny.

Plex'ed up Madness or kids with too much moolah?

Marco Drack is one of our more, outrageous Bastards and has garnered a reputation of 'Balls-to-the-wall' and Leeroy flying. Certainly, when he takes over as fleet commander; there's a collective groan from the pilots. However, many pilots, with grins splitting their faces, still sign up on his fleets. They know *something* fun will happen regardless. However, Marco lately has been attracting all sorts of attention, including a Gung-Ho Dramiel pilot (merely months out of pod school) who decided to tackle his Legion. Crazy kid died and dropped some lovely loot and has threatened to come back with an even bigger and more bling ship after he gets more plexes. Ach, if only people could combine brains with the money eh?

Tough week

2011-10-14T17:31:00.001+01:00

Hasn't been a good week; I logged off near a gate in my purifier one hectic night. I logged back in and to my horror, there was a dramiel a mere 2km from me. Not able to cloak or run to the gate; the dramiel pilot (hats off to him) scrambled me and killed the ship. I got the pod out.

I then clone jumped to join Marco's frigate fleet - I was asked to fly Marco's sabre and as we progressed into null sec, I stupidly hit 'warp to' instead of 'align to' a star-gate...one I KNEW was already bubbled, as I came through it on the way in.

Being pulled into the bubble was annoying for sure, being scrambled by a hurricane and dramiel was even worse. Naturally, I blew up.

So my pod ran away, my crew dead and Marco demanding a replacement for his lost sabre.

One has to take the rough with the smooth eh? There's another op coming up this weekend, I hope I have better luck. Now where's that stabber fleet issue?

Two slippies, a drake, a rattler and friends and the welcoming committee when I got home...

2011-10-10T10:27:00.000+01:00

This went boom....

I wandered into the usual Bastards hang-out; the 'Independence' bar and saw Fitz, Marco and a new chap called Jin. Fitz looked and sounded horrible: he had a serious case of man-flu and embarrassingly, excused himself from the bar, coughing and sneezing as he went.

Our fleet of three (two sleipnirs and a drake) undocked and went out hunting. The drake went on ahead, Marco and I in our sleipnirs sat on the gate and waited, our shield boosters primed to resist. as our scout and bait. However, it didn't take long before the star-gate we floated around pulsed once: signalling incoming traffic.

"Deploy drones." I said to Marco. The small winged mechanical killers slid out from their moorings and took up an orbit around us. Whoever had come in held their cloak. This boded well for Marco and I. Ordering battle stations as there was going to be some imminent violence, I waited patiently. I activated my shield hardeners and made sure that the capacitor booster was packed full with charges. The mystery ship still hadn't dropped its gate cloak but it was only a matter of time.

"There it is." Marco.

"Rattlesnake, rattlesnake!" I said with much excitement.

The distinctive Scorpion-class battle ship hull was there, hanging in space 25 km from me. Marco was closer and threw a point on it. I hit the mwd and raced over. The rattlesnake attempted to move back to the gate. We bumped it. We opened fire on it. His two friends in cruisers fired at us. Drones buzzed everywhere. The gate guns fired back on us. Our drake came back in to help. It was mad, fast and it was great.

The rattler went down and we got to work on the two cruisers: we somehow missed his fourth friend in a tempest and I think we also missed an Orca!

There's only so much a fleet of three can do on a low-sec gate. We quickly got off the gate and found a safe spot where we could collect the dropped loot and parcel it out amongst the Captains and crew. Unfortunately, I had to leave the fleet and ran right into a small gate camp in our home system and rapidly blew up.

Not a good end to the evening.

The long reach of the lachesis - me loves it.

2011-09-30T12:08:00.000+01:00

Lachesis - a right nasty bugger

With a fleet of about a dozen battle cruisers I decided to forgo our usual logistical support (as we didn't have enough qualified pilots anyway) and opted to go with recon support in the form of my lachesis and Marco's rapier.

A fleet with the ability to throw points out to 75KM and triple web someone to a range of 35km isn't too shabby at all.

So once the fleet was out, our scouts had detected some potential targets in Helgatid around what we assumed, was a just-anchored POS. It had its shield up but POS modules were anchored. There were a number of ships clustered by: an apocalypse class battle ship, a couple of cruisers and frigates. We can definitely have some of that.

As we moved into position; a second scout spotted an armageddon on a gate, killing off some of the local Angel rats. We were one jump away and arrived just as this second armageddon jumped into the Helgatid, no doubt to join his friends around the POS.

TheHermit entered first with his Onyx and snagged it.

"Point." He said and that was our signal to get in. Shizraak in his brittle hurricane was targetted by the armageddon and we went to work. Unfortunately for Shiz, this armageddon had a web and scrambler and kept Shiz pinned down long enough to completely boil off his shields and melt his armour. Shizraak's 'cane went pop but we took our revenge by killing the armageddon.

Meanwhile, our original target (the ships around the POS) was still there though most of the ships had scarpered by now leaving only the apocalypse. Our noobie-corp scout was 80KM away from the battle ship but it was enough. I asked for a warp in and overloaded my warp disruptor. When I landed there were three ships including the apocalyse. However, the battle ship was the prize and even from 80 KM my warp disruptor reached out and held the apocalypse.

"Point." I said and ordered the rest of the fleet to come in. Switching on their micro warp drives as they landed, The Bastards battle cruisers rushed over to the hapless battle ship and sliced it up.

The more I think about it; the more I love this ship. Need to fly it more often I think and I am so tempted to organise the fleet and update my set up for some obscene pointage.

Now, am asking all you EFT (or PYFA) warriors to recommend to me a set-up for either the Lach or 'Zu that you think would be suitable for our style of play (i.e. sneaky Bastards type of play..)

TTFN

Back with a boom, unfortunately it was mine!

2011-09-16T23:38:00.000+01:00

Back with a bang


Yes, we did bend over for this one with predictable results.

After a refreshing break, what better than to come back and go for a roam with the lads? So I volunteered as one of two scimitar pilots and undocked with a fleet of battle cruisers; The Bastards favourite hull type. Unfortunately, we've been too lax and I was not on my top game: we started late, took too long to form up and the new Pod UI had a 100MB update to be applied.

Since we took longer than expected; it was no suprise that many of our local neighbours realised something was up and tried to bait us outside our station, in our system and neighbouring systems. I ignored them until one of our scouts spotted a likely target around the Taff gate in Egmar. We decided to go for it with two drakes and two scimitars for support and I was confident of success. One of our drake pilots disconnected but that was okay; but local then went up by a few and I called the rest of the fleet in. As they decloaked and started to warp to our location; local kept on going up....and up. Our targets had friends nearby and before we knew it; we had 3 v 1. Slightly worried, I ordered the ships to align out but the DPS was too much, I had frigates crawling all over me and I think I was jammed too. I popped first and asked for the secondary FC to take over. However, the result was never in doubt: we got our arses handed to us.

Feeling somewhat bruised, we returned to the station and re-shipped while we considered our options. Shipping up into my sliepnir (after Marco's expert discussion on improving my set-up) we went out for more fun in our upgraded ships but nothing was biting. It was a proving to be a tough week for The Bastards.

Our own Hulkageddon - Bastards' style

Kill the mining barges for they are evil!

Hulkageddon has been a fun part of our New Eden landscape and The Bastards have been competing in this competition since its inception. We loved the idea and throw ourselves into the occasion, using cheap T1 destroyers in small groups as opposed to other competitors who decided on smart-bombing battleships. We always had pilots who came in the top 10 and did well as a corporation when compared to some of the larger alliances. So it was with some sadness that we discovered that HK would be no more after it's founder, mentor and organiser, Helicity Boson, was unceremoniously banned from the official organs of New Eden. His appetite for New Eden politics obviously went downhill from there and who can blame them. While there were many who stepped forward to offer to continue the event, which I fully support and hope it works, it isn't the same.

However, our very own TheHermit; who has been The Bastards' own driving force in the HK events decided to run an internal HK event. Open to only those in The Bastards Alliance, it was a one-week event; quite low-key but well attended with interested pirates using jump clones to move into the target area. The statistics are here.

4-year birthday bash!

No we don't have fairies....

The Bastards hit their fourth Birthday this weekend and of course we will be celebrating. We've had a rich history, complete with drama, fun and very odd characters passing through our ranks. The Eve Wiki has a formative years of The Bastards available to all those who want to have a read. Am working on the last couple of years in order to update the story.

Anyway, we've organised a birthday roam - so all Bastards past and present, join the ingame channel and say hi. Oh, TheHermit has also asked that we bring the bling. Should be fun.

OKAY....sorry, drunk roam report (part of)

Getting drunk....

I had this blog post in my drafts for ages as I couldn't remember enough to finish it; however - here is what I have....

I was not successful in getting the fuzziness out of my head: it felt like it was packed full of cotton wool. Yes, the after-effects of another drunken roam with The Bastards and my God, the killboard looked red. The rules of these drunken roams are simple: drink, fly ships and shoot people in the face and then drink some more, repeat until you can't remember your name. The only hope of reconstructing the evening was through the various log entries, camera drone footage and other recording devices that were on during the night. So sifting through the files, I came to the following series of events which has been reconstructed into some semblance of a coherent narrative.

The fleet was an open invitation to anyone who wanted to fly drunk with The Bastards and we had over 30 in the fleet with a few more stragglers. It was an astounding assortment of ship types and I was surprisingly flexible with the route, destination and communication discipline. Very unlike me but already, I was liquor'ed up and feisty with a quart of Disarono and coke from an earlier, lunch time drinking session with some colleagues. However, I decided to count the number of 'sips' of beverage I would imbide from the time the roam started to well, my waking up the next day.

The destination was generally agreed to be Amamake - where there would be an almost certain guarantee of traffic through the top belt and greatest chance of some pew-pew. Each jump we took a sip (of varying volumes) and by the time we had arrived at Auga, a 15 jump journey; I was already feeling the effects.

Sip Count: 15

So we did race into the top belt and sat there - some bright spark decided to mine in order to 'fool' the locals.Who was he? It wasn't a Bastard that's for sure.

The locals eventually came in and proceeded to get serious about a fight. We sort of decided to respond and set their drake as primary.

It went down hill from there.

We had horribly fitted ships and a mere glance at our killboard confirms that we lost some epic ships including: Shizraak's rainbow fitted Maelstrom complete with the most epic cargo hold ever; TheHermit's webbing blackbird; my own rupture flying with a battleship class autocanon. No less.

The loss of ships was quite epic.

I had to add about 30 odd sips to the total already and by this time, I was blasted and can't remember a thing....

..(sorry can't continue the story as I seem to have developed amnesia!)

A shout out to the The Bastards' Online Mortuary and Out-Of-Eve

Meet some of TheHermit's guests......

The Bastards have some talented individuals but none more so then one of our Directors and my number two, TheHermit. He has developed a website that keeps track of all the corpses he has collected in his years as a pirate in New Eden. There's many new features about to be incorporated but I love what he has done already. Go on, see if you or a close friend is a guest in TheHermit's Mortuary: http://graveyard.eve-ransoms.com/

He also hosts a cool tool: http://eve-ransoms.com/ooe/ try it and register it; it is Evemon on steroids.

On holiday

2011-08-17T19:37:00.000+01:00

Been a busy month - ever since the drunk roam, the blog post for that event is half finished as I can't remember anyof it! - I need TheHermit's vent recordings to be able to write down what happened.

However, am pleased to say that I am now on holiday and will be back in about two weeks - hopefully with a catch-up post including the drunk roam and the other RR BS roam we had recently. All good clean fun.

Until then, fly safe!

F

ps: most interesting how life suddenly has got back to 'normal' after the riots. I was near one of the hot spots and had to get out of the building due to nearby fires. However, four years for two chaps who were inciting and attempting to organise a riot via facebook! Take that!

Drunken Bastards

2011-07-29T16:56:00.001+01:00

Sorry for the delay in posting something but preparations for the drunk roam is ongoing - have no idea how many will turn up but there will be a fleet, even if it is just me and Shizraak.

The last couple of weeks have been full of fun and fire; where we've had plenty of engagements both large and small in and around Evati. The Meatshields are doing great though I have future plans for them. Plenty of administrative work to be done as well but all is going well. A fuller, more hungover post will come after the drunk roam this weekend.

Have a drink on me. I know I will!

The Bastards Drunk Roam is Open (again)

2011-07-13T09:52:00.001+01:00

DRUNK ROAM WITH THE BASTARDS (incorporating those drunken scalliwags from #tweetfleet)

The armoury is all set up sir!

DETAILS:

Date: 30th July 2011

Departure time: 18:00 EVE TIME

Duration: Until the Captain or the fleet falls off his chair drunk - the roam will continue into the next day (01 August 2011) -- so prepare your livers.

Previous Drunken Roams:

February 18th 2011

The Aftermath of the first Drunk Roam

F*ck your Subaru I have a horse outside Drunk Roam

The Original Drunken Roam - Da One What Started It

REQUIREMENTS:

++A FUN summer roam, no sad faces!! Come out of the Captain's quarters and fly spaceships and get drunk!!++

1. Join the in-game channel 'INDEPENDENCE' for details and fleet pick up and vent info on the day.

2. Any T1 frigate/cruiser fitted out with whatever you want.

3. Yes, fit a rupture with lasers if you want.

4. Or a thorax with arties and missiles.

5. Or a rifter with a cruiser sized weapon.

6. Or bring a Celestis.

7. Mix your weapon systems. Why? because we can and that's how we roll.

8. Points required of course, we can't have people running away.

Pirate forcing someone to drink to excess

9. We each drink a shot of spirits (or beer) every half hour during the roam and after each ship kill and after each ship loss and for every ransom.

10. Aim is to see who can stay up for the longest.

11. Music is required, so I want people to put together 8 (eight) tracks that they reckon are the dogs bollocks. An essential to everyone's collection. It is your desert island discs and you're drunk anyway, so pick what you want. We will try and play them on the night - so get your music onto a playlist in youtube or whatever.

12. Needs to be frapsed with some vent recordings as well.

13. If you decide to fit a stab (why not?) then you have to say 'STABBED!' in local, take a shot of alcohol and then RUN like the wuss you are when you get tackled. If you do this and get smack - everyone else will need to take a shot on your behalf.

14. Any other rules that the FC wants to make up...

Interested? Then contact us using the one of the following methods:

1. Post a comment here; with a yes or no. A drunken ship type would be good too.

2. Contact Flashfresh on flashfresh@the-bastards.com

3. Contact TheHermit on thehermit@the-bastards.com

4. Contact Flashfresh or TheHermit or Shizraak ingame via conversation or evemail

5. Twitter: #tweetfleet

Go on, it will be fun.

A new drunk roam coming up!

2011-07-11T15:19:00.002+01:00

A new drunken roam is being organised - we're going to drink lots and do a lot of silly things. People don't mind I hope?

Details to follow but I have proposed the date to be a weekend: 30th July 2011 (saturday) merging into a sunday...

Walking around in station and RANSOMANIA2 and RAGE

2011-06-28T16:00:00.000+01:00

Walking around and around and around

Incarna and CQ

So Incarna has hit tranquillity and like many a pod pilot, I have decided to have a walk around outside of my pod. My first impressions is that I do like it and it adds a little bit extra to the immersion. It looks pretty but there's not much content yet available. I can't get coffee or tea nor can I leave the room but at least I can see my ship hangar and my glorious hurricane class battle cruiser 'Arbalast VII'. A bar where other Captains can mingle would be quite fun. Am sure that is coming too. I do not like how my video cards are struggling however and if you need to turn the quality down just to ease the stutter, one might as well turn the damn thing off; and my rig isn't too shabby either.

Of course, I would be more happier if we had fixes for existing issues as well as enhancements to low-sec. In fact, after the first ten minutes of wandering around - I hit 'esc' and de-selected the 'load station environment'. I then undocked and realised that Eve Online is about space ships and explosions. My quarters can wait. In fact, after racing around after a mission running stabber; I completely forgot about my experience.

Ransomania2

Tibbs with added Quafe

TFS Tibbs is one of The Bastards unsung heroes: reliable and deadly efficient. He is also a mean Chess Player who is doing superbly well in Eve's first official chess tournament. Click the link and follow Tibbs or if you are chess fan - challenge Tibbs. Am confident that Tibbs will be able to beat all comers. Yes, I am that confident (sorry Tibbs!) and will give 100M isk to the first pilot to beat Tibbs, fair and square.

So what is RANSOMANIA 2 ("divitias estate")?

During the event contestants (i.e. pirates of The Bastards alliance) vie with each other to see who can ransom the most ships and capsules within a given timespan.
Who: Bastard Alliance members only
When: Event will run for the whole month of July
Where: Everywhere
Why: Ransoms are cool

RULES
Ransom everything that moves for one month
Results will be taken from the Bastards Ransom Board
Haikus – valued at estimated price of ship + fittings – or estimated implant value based on character age for capsules
All ransom attempts must use the Yarrsom Channel if possible
All prizes will be awarded after the event has finished

PRIZES
Bounties
You get a 2m isk bounty fee for every successful ransom you are involved in

Pilot involved in the most ransoms
First - 300m + shiny winners medal (we love medals)
Second - 150m
Third - Faction Frigate of choice

Highest earning pilots
First – 200m
Second - 100m
Third - Faction Frigate of choice

Most ship ejections - 100m
Most solo ransoms - 100m
Most Haikus - 100m

Most ships lost during successful ransom attempts
First – 3 ships replaced
Second – 2 ships replaced
Third – 1 Ship replaced

Additional prize
1st person to solo-ransom a ship 2 hull classes above their own
Classes: Frigate>>Cruiser>BC>BS>Cap
Winner gets a pirate cruiser of their choice.
Conditions:
1. destroyers count as frigate-class.
2. ransom has to be for isk / ship ejection, not a haiku
3. value needs to be reasonable, I'll decide if its reasonable.

Nashh's birthday bash

One of many birthday cake for Nashh!

Here's the link. From the killboard, it looks like that it was a lot of fun with wrecks absolutely everywhere. One of our recruits, Zocawi was called primary every time he undocked while Marco managed to kill Nashh's ship during the evening. There was also a few B A N E kills on the board around the same time, did they join in as well? No matter. Happy birthday Nashh!

And what else?
The corp and alliance is going strong - so much done, not enough time to tell. Am currently tapping out a new news-letter for the alliance and it has taken a lot more of my time. Had time to go out and kill stuff too. Watched AT IX and was seriously disappointed by the results though the written coverage this time round was very good and informative.

The Rage of MT (micro- or is it macro-transactions?)

Well, I haven't been living under a rock and I have been quietly observing the fire storm that is engulfing parts of New Eden. Not going to go into an in-depth report of it, there have been 100s of blogs, reports, websites all reporting the same thing.There has been tonnes of words written about a number of issues all floating around micro- (macro-)transactions coming hot on the heels of Incarna.

Micro-transactions for vanity items (even if they become stupidly expensive) doesn't worry about me at all. Feel free to spend your $ / isk / Aurum on a monocle or something. I don't mind. However, if MT starts to extend to say, T2 ammunition or new ships being only available via the NEX Store - then I have a problem. The access to New Eden is already through a monthly subscription - surely that should be enough? If additional functions and non-vanity items are only available via the NEX store for more money; then I have a big problem. I don't think it matters what is available via MT abilities. As long as MT is not the only form to acquire the non-vanity item, then I see no issue.

Yes, I is dumb for paying $60
for this.....

Let me put it this way: the people with too much money will always derive immediate and short term benefit from things like this more than those with no money (like me at about 200m isk to my name)...Those with real life money to spend will continually pump in isk for faction battleships and other toys. Bring it, real life money doesn't always bring success in New Eden. At least not yet and for pirates like me, will try our hardest to separate you from your isk. We like the tears and smack and if your loss actually results in even more real life money, then all power to you!

Already in place we have the facility where pilot 'A' can buy a pile of GTC's, sell them for isk then go jump in a new faction ship or titan, possibly having to buy a titan-skilled avatar first. For me, not spending any additional money of my own - I will have to train for oh, five months before I am even skilled and even longer before I can afford the ship! If I did, I would be in a dreadnought and firing my big guns.

At the moment, there is no magical 'Win' button for real life money. Not yet. Ask the NC; they had pots of cash and it didn't save them. I doubt the Nex store would have made a difference. I doubt MT would have saved them unless it conferred on them invisibility and doomsday abilities or access to Jovian ships; now that's a thought.

The things I do not agree with is the rather condescending communication from CCP. There was zero respect for the player base, nor was there any consultation with the CSM and the responses from CCP so far has been weak and unfocused, fanning the fire even more. They've done real damage to themselves.

Banning Helcity Boson? Come on. Ridiculous and stupid.

The 'Fearless' article about what, golf clubs? Mind boggling and patronising.

Breaking the trust of the community? Damn near fatal.

I also think, World Of Darkness is probably sucking up too much money. CCP may have had a look at their revenue forecasts for the next couple of years and the drag from WoD and Dust514 doesn't look as rosy as they had hoped. Eve-Online gives them a good revenue stream - so maximising it is makes sense.

(edit: just saw this thread on Eve-O)

One step at a time

Baby steps, walking slowly ahead

What does the future hold for me? Not going to quit. Nope. Am going to continue leading and dying with The Bastards. I love them all too much (that's for Dil'e by the way..) and have spent too much of my time to quit. Let's see what pans out and cooler heads on both sides start to engage. CCP isn't intending to kill off New Eden deliberately - they could do it through stupidity mind and I hope they heed the community's voice. Not informing the CSM isn't a good sign however but the protests this time round can be heard all over New Eden. They're not deaf.

Additionally, exciting plans abound for The Bastards - we're expanding and still looking for more pilots to join us for the low-sec life of ransom and yarr. I am planning on a tweetfleet+drunken roam (yes, combining both into one crazy roam) and also deciding whether I should be looking at the Nagalfar dreadnaught. It looks cool, I mean....it is vertical! Problem is, I can't afford one ingame but then , I could always spend some money on GTCs.

Nashh is 30! Birthday fun ensues - pew, pew and all that.

2011-06-20T15:25:00.001+01:00

It was a sad day when Nashh announced that he and The Bastards would part company but I promised that we would keep in touch.

Well, a message came through from Nashh and guess what? He is hitting the grand '30'. So what better way than to celebrate then blowing up ships and all that?

Here's his blog post.

http://nashhkadavreveblog.blogspot.com/2011/06/big-three-o.html

Anyone interested in 'celebrating' his roam, either comment in his blog, this blog or drop Nashh a note. Am sure there will be a pick-up fleet or two...

Two rubbish ransoms means a slow night....

2011-06-12T10:49:00.001+01:00

Two ransoms

Sometimes, you know how a night's roam will end up after the first ten minutes of rolling out a fleet. As we undocked into the familiar Evati space, the comms was buzzing with intelligence reports. I normally have almost a dozen separate chat windows open to various scouts, spies and information brokers always eager to sell information of a mining operation or a boat running a mission or something.

Tonight, everything was quiet. Not a peep from any of the channels and I thought I must be experiencing some technical problem with my communications hub or something and was prepared to kick someone's arse in order to fix it. However, no - there was no technical problem. New Eden, at least for tonight in this constellation was quiet.

Not too bothered the fleet aligned out and prepared for our next out gate; still eager for loot and ransoms. Our communications window flashed up as one of our scouts spotted a ship running through the belt clearing the local pirates; completely oblivious to the sudden entry of our -10.0 forward scout. We didn't have any unaffiliated scouts this time round so it was quite obvious that pirates were about.

Anyway, we managed to get someone and z0de jumped in; here's a copy of the conversation.

[19:34:08] EVE System > Channel MOTD:
This is a stick up! You are being ransomed.
Turn off ALL weapons. Prepare your funds for transfer.
Singing ransoms may be demanded.
Read the Bastard Pass for more info on prices
[21:01:07] z0de > Hello
[21:02:35] Mantasia > hi
[21:02:51] z0de > would you like to save your ship?
[21:03:16] Mantasia > yes , but it is a rupture
[21:03:25] z0de > do you have vent? (Edit: THIS IS SO THAT WE CAN GET HIM TO SING)
[21:03:49] Mantasia > no

The crowd is NOT happy

[21:03:59] z0de > ok, you have to tell us a joke then.
[21:04:05] Mantasia > ok
[21:04:06] z0de > if we laugh we'll let you go.
[21:04:14] z0de > so it better be a good joke.
[21:04:25] Mantasia > ok wait
[21:04:33] DeltsBeta > no google
[21:04:38] Mantasia > no no
[21:04:39] z0de > if local goes up we'll have to kill you.
[21:05:39] Mantasia > We ambused wiccan999 just after the DT , ceo from starwinders who WD us , just before the WD finishes, , oeps is no joke
[21:05:57] Naughty Spawn > .....................................That wasn't funny
[21:06:07] Mantasia > opes , sorry
[21:06:07] JManZA > :/
[21:06:10] z0de > that is a bad joke.
[21:06:11] flashfresh > :-(
[21:06:13] JManZA > : /
[21:06:17] DeltsBeta > :(
[21:06:17] Mantasia > i know
[21:06:21] lord Breathnach > :-(
[21:07:03] z0de > try harder next time.

We killed the chap.

[21:07:10] EVE System > Mantasia was kicked from the channel by z0de.

Racing around, we managed to get yet another pilot and we wanted a ransom, once more General z0de took charge of the ransom.

[21:34:47] z0de > hello kitty
[21:34:55] Kitty Baugh > Hmm
[21:35:05] z0de > have you got vent?
[21:35:18] Kitty Baugh > Nope
[21:35:20] Kitty Baugh > Lets speak here
[21:35:21] z0de > hmm
[21:35:34] z0de > have you got a microphone?
[21:35:51] Kitty Baugh > Unfortunately no
[21:36:07] z0de > ok, you have to tell us a good joke and we'll let you go.
[21:36:19] Kitty Baugh > Hmm
[21:36:25] Kitty Baugh > What kind of jokes you like
[21:36:37] z0de > good ones.
[21:36:52] Kitty Baugh > Let me think a sec
[21:36:57] z0de > if we laugh you're free.
[21:36:58] z0de > ok
[21:37:43] Kitty Baugh > OW
[21:37:46] Kitty Baugh > WHAT THE HELL (Edit: We fired at him)
[21:38:07] z0de > finger slipped.
[21:38:10] Kitty Baugh > >.>
[21:38:18] Maximillian Maxentius > Google jokes faster
[21:38:19] Kitty Baugh > Is that supposed to put the heat on me?
[21:38:20] Maximillian Maxentius > -.-
[21:38:21] JManZA > :P
[21:38:32] JManZA > I'm a dirty whore.
[21:38:45] DeltsBeta > tick tock
[21:38:49] Kitty Baugh > Wait D:
[21:38:51] Kitty Baugh > Im not googling

Booooooo!

[21:38:54] Kitty Baugh > Im seriously thinking
[21:39:30] lord Breathnach > A policeman stopped me the other night, he taps on the window of the car and says: 'Would you please blow into this bag, Sir'. I said: 'What for, Officer?' He says: 'My chips are too hot'. (Edit: This was a good joke, it got a few laughs however, Lord Breathnach is a Bastard...)
[21:39:39] Leroxee > quick, we have itchy fingers
[21:40:06] Naughty Spawn > not horrible i suppose
[21:40:09] lord Breathnach > I went to the doctor the other day I said 'have you got anything for wind?' so he gave me a kite. (Edit: Lord B is on fire tonight...)
[21:40:18] JManZA > whats red and goes like a bomb?...
[21:40:20] JManZA > ...a red bomb
[21:40:39] Kitty Baugh > Went outta the chat
[21:41:04] Naughty Spawn > ya sure ya dont gots 20 mill ?
[21:41:21] lord Breathnach > I had a ploughman's lunch the other day. He wasn't very happy.
[21:41:27] Naughty Spawn > the joke kinda flopped : /
[21:41:44] z0de > hurry kitty, getting bored.
[21:42:27] Kitty Baugh > An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.The next
[21:42:32] Kitty Baugh > DAMNIT WAT?
[21:42:42] Kitty Baugh > Stop shooting while I copy and paste crap!
[21:42:51] Naughty Spawn > continue ....
[21:43:00] flashfresh > You're not much of a stand up....
[21:43:03] JManZA > you mean its not original?
[21:43:12] lord Breathnach > heckle heckle
[21:43:13] JManZA > come on come on
[21:43:24] DeltsBeta > no laughter
[21:43:26] Kitty Baugh > 'The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.''
[21:43:37] DeltsBeta > give 20 mil or die
[21:43:49] JManZA > wat?
[21:43:49] z0de > rubbish joke
[21:43:53] Kitty Baugh > Hmm
[21:43:53] JManZA > :(
[21:43:56] Kitty Baugh > Lemme get another
[21:44:06] DeltsBeta > no time 20 mil or die (Edit: We blew up his ship at this point)
[21:44:24] Kitty Baugh > Thats just impolite
[21:44:38] z0de > ok want to save your pod
[21:44:40] z0de > ?
[21:44:46] Kitty Baugh > I wouldn't mind it
[21:45:02] DeltsBeta > 100 mil
[21:45:19] Kitty Baugh > Because someone whos been playing for a week has 100 mil?
[21:45:40] Kitty Baugh > I have about 30k of
[21:45:41] Kitty Baugh > Well (Edit: We blew up his pod at this point)
[21:45:45] Kitty Baugh > You enjoy that?
[21:45:48] z0de > we did give you a chance, better luck next time.
[21:45:49] DeltsBeta > no
[21:45:55] Kitty Baugh > Lol
[21:45:59] DeltsBeta > lol :)
[21:46:03] Kitty Baugh > Enjoy your crappy loot
[21:46:07] Naughty Spawn > work on the jokes mate
[21:46:08] z0de > we wont.
[21:46:09] Kitty Baugh > Too bad I had to lose my implants
[21:46:14] Kitty Baugh > >.>
[21:46:15] Naughty Spawn > soz
[21:46:19] Kitty Baugh > Eh
[21:46:25] Kitty Baugh > Id have done the same if I were you guys
[21:46:28] z0de > o/
[21:46:33] EVE System > Kitty Baugh was kicked from the channel by z0de.
Effective until 2011.05.31 21:47:33.

We managed to snag a ferox but that was it; a slow night with some humour thrown in!

The Meatshields keeping the kill board active

Our younger brethren, the Meatshield Bastards are racing around low-sec: under-skilled, under-gunned but big on balls as they attempt to kill and ransom anything that moves. Hats off to these chaps, they're great.

The Captain's quarters...

2011-05-26T15:26:00.001+01:00

I have to confess that I am quite interested in the proposed Incarna expansion come June of this year. Details are here in this dev blog by CCP Zulu. While the list of requested (and required) fixes to existing bugs is LONG; the inclusion of this new content does add a new dimension to the whole experience. I like the idea of not only docking up my ship but leaving it too and having a shower and a cup of tea. Of course, in this first iteration, one is stuck inside one's own room but am sure that all these rooms come equipped with an XBox or PS or something similar to while away the hours.

With the potential amount of customisation possible, I can see that there will be a lot of crazy set-ups and I wonder if it is possible to allow others into your room. The mind boggles. Microtransactions come to mind too.

I really want to see if I could mug someone in the dark corridors, once I can get out of my room; until then - where's my copy of halo?

Like I said, I am quite interested.

A night of the dead sleipnir, dead Chupas and loot.

2011-05-19T09:54:00.001+01:00

Dead Chupas

The start of the evening
"Targets destroyed. Grabbing loot." Said one of The Bastards' Captains over the voice comms. I had just linked into the fleet chat as I was going to be leading a fleet out in the evening, but The Bastards were already out and as busy as ever. They just had a successful encounter with our erstwhile neighbours: 'Los Chupacabras' and we had held the field and were looting it and salvaging the wrecks. Piracy can be an expensive business after all.

It was with some surprise that I was informed that our local Mexican space bandit charlatans have apparently joined the Minmatar Militia? What is going on I wonder, but it does look like they have taken up arms for the Republic. Wonders never cease. My best wishes to them as they are extremely good at what they do.

So the night appeared to be starting off well and once things had settled down, I got all the ship Captains together and briefed them on our roam tonight, outlining the route and the ships we would be taken. After some lobbying by Lord Breathnach - we would be taking his Vulture class command ship for a spin aided by a sleipnir. I had some administrative tasks to compete (loot related) but then was ready to roll - our scouts once again racing ahead eagerly seeking out targets. Some of our Captains needed quick bio breaks (their pods were obviously not fitted with the new suck-o-matic urinal, but I digress) before they could get into their ships with their crews.

Once this was all done, the fleet rolled out - a magnificent sight: several battle cruisers heaving past the startled industrial traffic at the undock point with support ships darting in and out. The two command ships, our fleet's flagships, led the way and we were off. Our scouts ranged far and wide and we set our destination that included that well known pirate hub of Eifer and Gusandall, the latter home of the infamous Kane Rizzel, who sadly had to take a long break from New Eden. I think he was last spotted ambling off towards some island retreat on a tropical island in Heimatar. Come back soon my friend.

Our scouts and contacts had informed us of the locals and this time, with some delight we spied M34N coalition ships - mainly from the core M34N corp but some of their newer brethren in the alliance were docked up. A quick scan and we had their ship types and in the absence of any other viable targets we opted to go for them. As we got ready our scouts shouted out a warning:

"EM ships landing on the Ingunn gate. EM ships landing on the Ingunn gate."

The Wait....

Electus Matari - we can't say no now can we? So we switched targets and hastily gathered ourselves. Our sleipnir and one drake raced ahead in an attempt to tackle the EM ships on a gate. The rest of the logistics and fleet would follow in support. We waited and hated it.

Fighting on just one side of a gate with the guns against you is always tricky and required team work and timing. Captains Dame Death, TheHermit and Marco moved to engage and jumped into the waiting ships. They were designated as Red1, Red2 and Red3 to ensure clear communications.

"Contact. Contact. Contact!" The fight was on. The rest of the fleet jumped in, there was some jostling on the gate and the sleepy gate crews were not the most efficient but the rest of the fleet was processed through.We should have jumped in earlier to be honest, my mistake.

"Red1 engaging."

"Red2, engaging."

The adrenaline levels rose as the rest of the fleet jumped into warp. Even from this distance, we could get remote telemetry from the fight and it looked ferocious indeed. We approached the warp exit.

"Hurry, Red1 is going down. Need shields."

"On our way." I said. The short warp felt it was going on forever.

"Red1 is down. Red1 is down. Getting pod out."

Shit.

We landed at the gate and hammered our request to jump. Ominously, there were a couple of M34N coalition battle ships, also on the gate. We had to ignore them and jump.

Red 2 is down

"Red2 is down."

Right, time for revenge I thought and as we dropped cloak we found that our fleet was a bit scattered. Never mind, I thought, we would have to make do with what we had.

"Primary is Hoe Bag. Secondary is Duch Crystal. Tiertiary is TenTon." I called out, selecting the appropriate targets. All around me, The Bastards fleet re-aligned and discharged their ordnance while the EM fleet returned in kind. Actually, there was only one EM alliance pilot (Duch); the rest were a mixed bag - probably all blue to each other. These chaps were too fast and they managed to squirm away before we could lay enough damage. Our webbers were too far to be effectual and we only managed to keep one of their hurricanes and drakes locked down.

"Gatefire! Gatefire!" The Gusandall gate flashed multiple times as more ships came through, a quick check in local and we discovered it was M34N coalition.

As we poured fire onto the hurricane and drake, the newcomers dropped gate cloak. Battle ships with some battle cruiser support.

"Do not engage M34N, concentrate on the EM ships." I said, despite knowing that everyone would be yellow boxing each other. Pretty standard really for pirates: in an unclear situation with multiple actors, go for the anti-pirates and neutrals before you go for other pirates. Simple in theory really but notoriously difficult to execute. Fog of war and all that.

We lost the enemy drake (somehow) but managed to snag Duch in his hurricane. Just as Duch's ships blew up, one of The Bastards declared that M34N had gone hostile and he returned fire. So much for the truce. We locked horns with M34N Coalition as they unloaded on us: Marco's drake was targeted and was blasted into near hull until our scimitars picked up the pace and saved him with some last minute shield repairs.

Ship, it go boom.

Slick Duros in his hurricane was blasted into scrap quickly followed by Escort Zodiak, also in a hurricane. Captain Nessaja in an Armageddon class battle ship, was the next target but the wily pirate knew how to disengage and managed to retreat in good order, his armour smoking and pock marked from our fire.

Vaginitis in his tempest was next, the distinctive looking Minmatar battle ship shook as heavy missiles unleashed from the drakes of The Bastards tore into it. The tempest returned fire but it was ineffectual as the drakes overwhelmed it. Vaginitis exploded in a ball of flame and scrap - his pod whipping away while the rest of his crew died in the conflagration.

Macadee1, in the barrel shaped typhoon class battle ship was broadsided by our ships and was left a smoking wreck. With his destruction, it was over. We held the field and looted it while TheHermit and Dame Death finally arrived after racing back to Evati to re-ship.

Unhappy at missing the fight, Dame Death took his fury out on an absent minded covert ops, even podding the pilot.

Let's continue to roam...
The fleet took a ten minute comfort break before we resumed, with our scouts racing ahead. Our destination would be Molden Heath. Nothing was found between Sotrenzur to Atlar, there was some evidence of fights all over the place with wrecks as evidence. This only made us want more.

Our scouts (and sympathetic contacts) notified us possible targets and it was with some delight that we discovered that one of our targets was Hoe Bag, who managed to squirm away from us in the earlier evening. We definitely had to try and get him!

There was some false alarms but eventually our fleet had managed to manoeuvre into an advantageous position in Bosena (or Bosnia) on a gate. A vexor blundered into us, which we swatted but then the main entertainment piled in. No idea whether the vexor was their scout or whether he was just unlucky.
The enemy fleet dropped in, we immediately noticed TenTon Tommie in his sleipnir. He was quite far from the gate but z0de was on the ball and gave chase and with the arazu's enhanced systems, optimised for warp disruptors and scramblers. At 80KM from us and TenTon Tommie was still unable to escape.

As we raced close to the sleipnir, his friends piled in. Fighting far off the gate didn't give them any advantages but certainly helped us escape the sentry guns.

Thanks to z0de for the initial point, we managed to kill the sleipnir. A rook dipped in and out of the fight, causing nuisance to us but his luck ran out as well, one missed jam and it's thin defences get blown away. The artillery hurricane as flown by Dame Death certainly did the job. The enemy drake died, thanks to Meode (where the hell has he been?) for dealing the most damage with Dil'e delivering the killing blow. Then an enemy smart-bombing blackbird - it probably was scared of drones but well, we had lasers, artilleries and long range missiles. We killed the blackbird pilot too, which was fortunate for us but we lost out on a few more ships who sped away from us. Finally ended up with a myrmidon kill to end this encounter. It was a triple rep fitted but went down easily enough.

It was a mad affair the ten minutes of the engagement: targets appeared and were locked, some died, some escaped. It was a blast and we held the field thanks to our logistical support who saved more than a few of our fellow fleet mates from a fiery death. Importantly, we held the field and had the pick of the loot. Moneys!

We raced home after an exhausting three hour roam.

Latest patch - is good

2011-05-17T12:51:00.001+01:00

http://www.eveonline.com/updates/patchnotes.asp?patchlogID=226

A couple caught my eye:

Blueprints
Unique icons have been created for Blueprint originals and Blueprint copies so you can visibly differentiate between them.

At last, not that I have a massive collection of blue-prints but I do have some and I always worried about chucking out originals instead of copies. I hope the unique icons are large and easy to differentiate!

Ships
The capabilities of the onboard scanner have been substantially increased. The range is now 64 AU and the delay to return results is only 10 seconds.

Oh really? I like this one. I think.

Back from a three week sojourn, now what's happening?

2011-05-11T11:11:00.000+01:00

Just a quick hello to everyone; I forgot to post up that I was to disappear for three weeks on an assignment (then holiday if possible) - but now that this bit of work has been completed, am back. Was promptly chucked into a logistics role last night. Was fun! New ops being planned and for those who have invaded my inbox with calls for another drunk roam; it will come. I have a new liver....

--Blood on the dancefloor--

2011-04-14T18:49:00.000+01:00

The way you make me feel...

The One

A Bastards roam isn't a proper roam until a theme is chosen; Michael Jackson made his appearance this time round and all participants of the roam had to name their ships after a MJ song. This meant anyway scanning for us would be presented with a list of signature 70s, 80s and 90s tunes from the moon-walking one himself. Whether this would amuse, horrify and mystify the viewer is unknown. It was hotly debated whether MJ had any good songs in the noughties or later. I personally preferred his earlier stuff that included the Jackson 5 but I have been often been accused of being nostalgic.

So a gank cruiser roam with a simple idea: pack as much firepower as you can onto a T1 cruiser hull of your choice, with only a damage control unit as your tank. If you wanted to go bling, fit appropriate damage related rigs.

With the fleet in place, the tactics would be to apply overwhelming DPS to a target and hope the sentry guns didn't pop you if we went after someone at a gate or station. Since the cruisers had no tank whatsoever; anyone firing back had a good chance of destroying the cruiser. The fleet had to do arrive as a group, in numbers and quickly.

We also actively discouraged anyone from repairing their ship - a fiery hull should be the only way to fly!

With a large BC/BS/Logistics fleet streaking through Evati and camping some of our target outlying gates in Metropolis, we decided to turn around and head a different route and sneak into M34N coalition territory to see if we could execute a cheeky gank on them. We spotted two of their number in a loki and tengu and tried to find them either at the Eifer gate or on the station. Since they were nice and flashy (like us) there would be no issues with gate guns. A blessing for both sides. M34N being seasoned pirates themselves, they didn't tug on the fishing line but instead danced around us. Surely, a a T1 cruiser named 'Blood on the dance floor' (released as a single from the Blood on the Dance floor: HIStory mix album, 1997) should have had people salivating to kill it. Especially when he was told to start ratting.

M34N, being wily and smart teased us long enough to keep us in one place. We were then spotted by some of their scouts and decided that we wouldn't get an engagement on our terms. A little bit of chat in local

Darthimus> "We're going to break you Flash."

Such chat was obviously meant to illicit a response. It did - we quickly checked the neighbouring system and in the system next door: Katugumur, sitting on the out-gate was a large M34N Coalition BC fleet. Out-numbering us and with a depressingly high number of hurricanes; the damage potential of this fleet was obvious to all. Sprinkled amongst this fleet included other close range gank battle cruisers such as the brutix and harbinger. It is doubtful that this fleet was set up to counter us, more likely it was on the way back from a roam or operation. We just happened to be in its way.

We were on the other side of the gate and not even aligned but luckily didn't jump into this fleet. Nor did they jump into us. Our gank cruisers probably would have inflicted significant damage and no doubt it would have been 'Good Fightz' all round but we would not have held the field and picked up any loot or ransoms; so for pirates, it would be a pointless and profitless engagement.

We turned and left the system quickly and efficiently led by Dil'E Mahn in his thorax named 'ABC' from the same titled Album released by the Jackson 5 in 1970 and reached number 1 in the US charts. We sped through Ingunn and out.

M34N coalition realising this then gave chase but they were too slow and gave up after two jumps. However, not having a kill made us hungry and a bit reckless. The Michael Jackson gank cruisers spied four hurricanes and a rapier sitting on the Evati gate. We jumped in and gave chase but the hurricanes were fast boats and managed to burn away from us at the gate. They scattered and I made a fatal mistake: I split the fleet up to give chase. The Michael Jackson ships relied on DPS as their tank and swarming numbers and if caught in a 1 v 1 situation with hurricane class battle cruiser, the results would end in a fiery death of one of Michael's catchy pop tunes.

So it came to pass, we all landed in a scattered group around a celestial with Persephone's stabber 'Fly Away' (from the Special 2001 edition of 'Bad'), landing closest. She burned her micro warp drive to get point but was then hammered into hull by the hurricane's 425mm auto canons. We desperately tried to get close to Persephone, some burning towards her - others trying to get over 150km away so that we can warp to her. She started to bail and was in warp when a final salvo clipped her and shattered her hull. The hurricane, still burning away then disengaged and warped away to safety. Meanwhile, TheHermit had raced to the gate and uncharacteristically was caught by the rapier (who had wisely cloaked) who called in the other hurricanes and shredded the blackbird, therefore we bid a fond farewell to 'Children', a hit song from 2001 'Invincible' album.

Our final loss was Marco who, on hearing of TheHermit's tackle had instantly warped to his corp mate and was ambushed by three of the hurricanes, resulting in a not-too-surprising loss. His ship, christened 'Bad' (from the smash 1987 album of the same name) was destroyed in a fire. I finally got everyone regrouped and we licked our wounds.

Michael Jackson had just suffered a breakdown and needed a pick-me-up.

We added to our tracklist with Rae in his curse (his excuse was that he had no T1 gank cruisers in stock) and blaring across sub-space radio was Michael Jackson warbling, 'Human Nature' (from the excellent 1982 Thriller album) to all who could hear.

Wow, orange.

Still, the music wasn't going to stop and and were told by an informant that we would be able to get some action if we hurried. So we shifted gear and ended up in Egmar, a system we still associate with G.I.S and their friends in those by-gone happy days. Hovering over the Taff gate, we caught and melted a drake in about 6 seconds, our first kill of the night. With 'Smooth Criminal' (another hit from the 1987 Bad album), 'Beat It' (from the ground breaking 1982 album, Thriller) and 'I Want You Back' all featuring heavily in the kill. The latter song was from the first highly acclaimed, The Jackson 5's album, titled 'Diane Ross presents The Jackson 5' in 1969.

While seasoned veterans were in force, we had a fair smattering of our Meatshield brothers, those who had recently signed up for a life of piracy. Step forward you brave canon fodder. Hero tackle had to be from one of our Meatshield Bastards who threw his t1 incursus frigate onto the drake to perform a hero-tackle incurring the wrath of the gate guns and surviving. War Wick, you deserve a medal and we want more.

The drake was soon followed by a hurricane and a brutix both melting furiously under the onslaught of the T1. In both cases, we were unable to secure a ransom.

Of worth note, the brutix was tackled on a gate when we were all still under a Global Criminal Countdown after killing the hurricane. Our tactics of overwhelming DPS and a quick warp out saving us. The Dragoons then retired from the field and the Michael Jackson crew flew back home with the loot. Some members had to then drop out but the music just couldn't stop.

Michael Jackson in NULL SEC

So we decided after a 60 minute break where we chatted and chilled out; that MJ had to come out to dance again. Marco brought his Cynabal named 'BAD II' out to pop a cyno generating frigate just for laughs but it did generate some warm fuzzy chat in local from the aggrieved pilot. Just before we had decided that Null-sec was where we would go, Raelyf spotted a badger sitting near the undock and with a whoop, spin and shiny-gloved hand, he undocked in his tempest, 'Dirty Diana' (once again from the monstrously popular Bad album) and blew the industrial to pieces. The drop was pretty good and are harvester drones really that expensive? I think I have half a dozen somewhere.

With no further ado, Michael Jackson took to the skies and the Bastards raced into null-sec, deciding that camping the EOA-ZC gate would be fun. I was in a hound-class stealth bomber, 'Liberian Girl' - yet another smash hit song from the 1987 Bad album. Tibbs and Interdict were both in identical stealth bombers ('Black or White' and 'Man in the mirror') - Mito Rilo had joined us in his dramiel and had no idea why we were calling our ships after Michael Jackson songs but soon got into the spirit of things and dredged up 'Heal The World' from the 1991 hit album, 'Dangerous'. This only made number two in the UK charts and a poor number 27 in the US Billboard. It made number 1 in Spain however, so go the Spanish! Marco in his dramiel ('BAD III'), Persephone in her Falcon, Ann in her Rupture ('Smooth Criminal')and Raelyf still flying 'Dirty Diana' meant we were ready.

The first catch was a deimos that landed and the MJ crew, with flashing lights, moon-walks and the 'vocal hiccup' we got to work. Rather alarmingly, the deimos withstood a fearsome pounding from the entire fleet. Long enough that two friends in drakes appeared also. We outnumbered these chaps but couldn't bring down the deimos fast enough. The three stealth bombers threw torpedoes at it with gusto while the tempest's own auto canons chattered away at the target. The deimos, finally died. It was well fit. The two drakes, despite being bravely pointed by Milo managed to kill the interpid Dramiel pilot, no more healing the world from this one. Smooth Criminal also died but we managed to deliver enough damage to the drakes that they both died and we held the field.

We congratulated ourselves on this and the power of Michael Jackson but then an enemy stealth bomber decloaked and dropped a bomb. There was panic and Interdict was caught up in the explosion losing his beloved Hound.

We looted and left the system.

Michael Jackson goes back to low-sec but dallies too long...
We then camped a low-sec system for a while, netting a few good kills including a Deimos with a monster tank: http://the-bastards.com/kb/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=19525 and some of his friends. Love them stealth bombers!

We ended up the night (a six hour roam!) with a maelstrom kill before the music just had to stop....

I was drunk and was hungover for 24 hours; what happened to my weekend?

2011-04-04T18:48:00.001+01:00

Drunken aftermath
After saturday night's drunk roam, where we died gloriously (or ignominiously) - I had a hang-over for most of the next day. I think I must be getting old! Fair play to some of the chaps who started the drunk roam (part one) on the friday night. I believe they suicidally attacked a gang backed up with guardians and other nasties and died horribly. Well done sirs, well done!

Damage to me was as follows (I think):

1. 4L of disarrono with 2l left.
2. 6L of Coke with 1.5l left.
3. I ate three cheese-toasties on the night. All had worcestershire sauce dashed on it with lashings of cheese. There was a fourth semi-constructed toastie on the chopping board the next day. I think it is still there.
4. Paracetamol the next day with at least 2 pints of water.
5. A half-starved cat as I didn't leave any food out during the drunk roam. She's okay now, just don't tell the missus.

My cat....

I seem to recall racing around in a hoarder with TheHermit in his battle badger. I also believe I blew up quite spectacularly on a gate somewhere. Other highlight include our fail-fit cruisers trying to kill an armageddon near a stations's undock and getting it down to 20% hull before the gate guns popped us all. I was in my rupture with a battle ship class weapon strapped to it. It died gloriously. I also remember laughing manically and almost falling off my chair after consuming almost all of my drink in one go. We did kill a bait myrmidon but man, sentry guns hurt....

I think this is what I was
telling people on vent as we
raced in to kill the 'geddon...

I honestly cannot remember how it ended though I know I didn't get podded and probably made it home. Shiz had his tengu in one piece throughout the evening; that I do remember. What does it take for him to lose it?

However, piracy must continue, even if it took 24 hours to get moving or at least my liver to function again. Our ransom board has been integrated into our new back-end system and now pulls graphs into a pirate's statistics. It has always been there but now been made visible - check out MaxUrsa's stats and others. We welcome any comments by the way.

AFK & Drunk Roam, Again.

2011-03-31T12:06:00.001+01:00

CSM 6 - the results

I voted but am surprised at the actual turn out and results. Plenty of people have posted about this already but congratulations to the winners and filling the vacant CSM 5 chair (last held by my good friend Mynxee) would be a tall order but step forward The Mittani. Squashed almost all opponents in his journey to the top. The composition of the CSM looks also very null sec oriented this time around with no Empire, Faction Warfare, Wormhole, Industry or pirate focus. Should be interesting to see what pans out. Congratulations to all.

Lost In Eve
Our very own, TheHermit was asked to guest on another excellent podcast with Lost In Eve, as hosted and brilliantly run by Jade. This episode had a low-sec slant and is an excellent listen...
http://www.lostineve.net/2011/03/28/lost-in-conversation-episode-10/

Drunk and AFK FC Roam

Date: FRIDAY, 01 APR 2011 & SATURDAY, 02 APR 2011

Time: 21:15 EVE TIME

Form-up time: 20:15 EVE TIME

Location: Will be sent to those interested in due course but previous attendees should know where it is.

Route: TBD - but all over the place no doubt...

Duration: Until we run out of ships or the FC collapses from too much alcohol

Right, drunk roam this Friday (01 APR 2011) is Part one. Part two will be Saturday (02 APR 2011) same time. The reason is that two drunk roam is better than one. Part One is also going to be an experimental set-up, more details on the night.

Also, it will give us a chance to switch into new fleet commanders.

Flashfresh's preparation for both nights:

1. A full 2-litre bottle Disaronno. Check.
2. 3.5 litres of coke? - Check.
3. A full meal around 19:00? - Organised so should be ok - curry!!!, Check.
4. Ensuring that I have a pillow and blanket nearby? - Check.
5. Ice in the freezer? - Nope, get some!
6. Ensure that the missus has left for a friend's hen do and that I AM TRULY FREE! - Check.
7. Send reminder update via email / evemail to peeps? - No yet.

Everyone else: join our ingame channel 'Independence'. Shout that you want to get DRUNK and shoot things. A squad commander, who I hope isn't drunk, will try and fleet you up.

Kick off from 20:15 onwards on both nights - assuming that I haven't started early then someone will have to lead the rabble out without me!

What shall you bring?
Anything that won't sting your wallet if you lose it.

Are there any rules for a Bastards drunk roam?

Aim: Crazily fitted T1 frigate/cruiser roam around low-sec and null-sec; it will end when we have no ships left in the fleet (or we fall off our chairs drunk). Of course, I will be fitting a super gank ruppie but there you go.

We are to have fun, drink and be merry. Emphasis on the drink and merry bit. No sad faces.

Like the last roam, the idea is to have fun. There's no better lubricant for fun then alcohol and lots of it! Ratting for ammo is expected. Throwing ourselves into danger at the first opportunity is also expected.

Of course, we have to pace ourselves as there will be plenty of chances to drink so the roam should still last the usual two hours.

Everyone read the requirements carefully.

++FUN roam, no sad faces!!++

1. Join the in-game channel 'INDEPENDENCE' for details and fleet pick up on the day.
2. Any T1 frigate/cruiser fitted out with whatever you want. Gank cruisers welcome.
3. Yes, fit a rupture with lasers if you want.
4. Or a thorax with arties and missiles.
5. Or a rifter with a cruiser sized weapon.
6. Or bring a Celestis, sorry Lady Shaniqua!
7. Mix your weapon systems. Why? because we can and that's how we roll.
8. Points required of course, we can't have people running away.
9. We each drink a shot of spirits (or beer) every half hour during the roam and after each ship kill and after each ship loss and for every ransom.
10. Aim is to see who can stay up for the longest.
11. Ventrilo - working with mic in place.
12. Needs to be frapsed with some vent recordings as well.
13. If you decide to fit a stab (why not?) then you have to say 'STABBED!' in local, take a shot of alcohol and then RUN like the wuss you are when you get tackled. If you do this and get smack - everyone else will need to take a shot on your behalf.
14. Tell me what is your drink(s) of choice for the night.
15. Any other rules that the FC wants to make up on the night.

Interested? Then contact us using the one of the following methods:

1. Post a comment here.
2. Contact me on flashfresh@the-bastards.com
3. Contact TheHermit on thehermit@the-bastards.com
4. Contact me or TheHermit ingame via conversation or evemail

Bang, bang, your dead!

2011-03-25T12:11:00.001Z

TL;DR I posted this blog early and had lots (i.e. eight) of people convo me about the contents. Main issue was my rather inept attempt at masking the identity of someone, only for his name to appear in the post further below. Oddly, this had a rather pleasing effect: a few of the chaps chatting to me ended up apologising for the action of others. Ass Muncher might be a poor choice for name in hindsight.

The blog was incomplete and I have added to it in order to complete it. I do love Shizraak by the way, even if he is a low-sec noob but he is learning about gate guns, the hard way.

People are never happy
[22:58:58] A***** M** "Tomorrow write about how the basterds wouldn't fight"

No one wants to fight me...

His name has been obscured to protect this chap from embarrassment. For now, let's call him, 'Ass Muncher'.

So, indeed here I am, blogging about it. The bit of text above was spewed in local, I do not read local, especially when I am running a fleet so it was with some surprise that the text was forwarded to me by one of his own people in Ass Muncher's fleet on the night. This chap (completely random chap who I never heard of, but thank you) informed me that he was a wee bit embarrassed at Ass Muncher for talking in local as well as bringing a blob big enough to scare almost everyone else into hiding and then complaining that he couldn't get a fight. Not a good FC it would appear.

Why this little bit of bitterness thrown towards us lovable, roguish Bastards? Well, we had another typical night where our gang of twelve battle cruisers roamed around Heimatar and Molden Heath. We were looking for loot and ransoms. We successfully avoided a superior force made up of battle ships, strategic cruisers and battle cruisers. This was Ass Muncher's fleet, roaring up from Ardar for some potential fun. A fleet this size pushes forward a bow wave: people know you're coming. You're fooling no-one. Having avoided them and keeping my fleet intact, we were called out on it, for doing what any sensible fleet would do in our position: i.e. avoid un-necessary losses.

Tactics and common sense appear to be lacking in the opposition this time round. Why would anyone sensible be willing to engage in a fight that they would surely lose? For glory? For honour? For 'Good Fights'? It amuses me greatly that there are those who think that all fights in New Eden need to be fought irrespective of conditions, numbers, tactics and strategy. That the real fun is participating in a fight, regardless of outcome. Anyone else who subscribes to a different view, is deemed, well - not worthy.

As pirates, we're after loot and profit only. For that to happen, we need to ensure that we hold the field so that we can pick over the loot and salvage. Losing any fight, including those where people exchange hearty 'good fights!' in local ensures that we speed home in our pods with a lowered isk balance and the need for a new ship. We will engage and often but only if there is a chance that we can hold the field. That the conditions are right, the terms being our own. Tonight, against Ass Muncher and his fleet, they were not. So 'A.M.' I reply to your little nugget of frustration and bitterness with riposte: deal with it or bring a smaller fleet. If you want to have a fight with equal numbers - I suggest you play chess.

Another pirate running away from the blob...

Also, it is spelt as 'Bastards' not 'Basterds'. Am assuming that English isn't your first language so you're forgiven.

Anyway, let's go back in time by about an hour or so to the beginning of the night....

The miners
The evening started off with a mining op being busted by our chaps. We grabbed the Armageddon and drake but failed to grab the two hulks. No matter, we piled in and requested for a ransom. We were rejected and we popped the Armageddon (failed to grab the pod), then popped the drake and we managed to grab the pod as wanted to try a second ransom, mindful that there might be expensive implants in the drake pilot's head.

He rejected us again and we podded his capsule. Shame, he could have parted with a few million isk and not wake up with a headache.

We roamed down the metropolis pipe after the snack and chanced upon a stabber in a complex. It was pointed and we started to kill off the rats that were molesting the stabber in order to keep him alive long enough for us to try a ransom. The pilot, 'Boz Bozly' refused to pay the reasonable amount we requested and we couldn't get him to give us a haiku either. Shocking. So we killed him with some regret. His last words were: 'I have noted down your names....' Well, if you check your killmail we should all be there too.

The Blob
It was at this time that we realised we were being tracked by another corporation: the Chupacabras, famed for their skilled gate camps between Evati to Jita to Yulai and back. They had over a dozen BC class vessels as well as a couple of probers who scattered scan probes everywhere. They scored a hit and managed to bust a safe spot used by one of our fleet pilots. He was caught and quickly dismembered. We were also informed that an even larger gang was en route and we discussed amongst ourselves what we could do. The most obvious one was to see if these new chaps would plough into the Chupacabras. No such luck as the Chupas scattered before hostile contact was made, losing only a brutix to this new fleet's vanguard.

We stayed put in the system, observing the proceedings as my efforts to link up with the new chaps didn't quite work out. Had a lovely chat with one of the fleet members though! It was at this time that we were being childishly goaded in local, no doubt pickings were slim for Ass Muncher's fleet. There's nothing worse than frustrated fleet mates and not enough targets for the evening. So why not resort to childish attempts at getting a fight?

Not wishing to push into the brick wall in front of us, we turned around and came racing back towards home and proceeded to move towards Molden Heath via the Katugumur system. As we moved towards the Katugumur, we were informed that a flashy cyclone and a neutral Tempest Fleet issue was buzzing around the infamous Gusandall / Eifer gate; home of M34N and the infamous Kane Rizzel. The two ships, with a loki were no doubt looking for easy pickings moving between Eifer and Gusandall. It is a great system.

We decided that since the cyclone was red, we could just tackle him on gate and burn him down. Which we did, his friend in the Tempest Fleet issue was the main prize but he managed to wriggle out of the first tackle only to be caught on the other side when he jumped. He managed to escape this attempt as well, return to the gate and jumped back into our main gang. He then raced away from the gate, which sealed his fate.

We then raced back into Laslienur and popped an Armageddon who was hassling a friend of ours. We missed out on killing a guardian (who docked) and a T3 cruiser, who we simply failed to locate once he warped off.

In these situations, with a battle ship within docking distance, one has to bring overwhelming DPS to burn it down quickly. This is one of the occasions where you need to plough into someone and there's no such thing as 'too much DPS'.

We ended the evening with some false alarms but all in all a great time.

Last week we went a roaming as well and here's the high-lights:
I jump cloned back to Evati and a hello to the new chaps, battle cruiser roam with logistic support. TheHermit was fleet commander with myself as an ordinary team member flying my Sleipnir with command links. A position that I quite enjoyed, TheHermit is an excellent fleet commander and I felt confident that it would be a great op.

Fleet comms was chatty and boisterous but cutting through the chatter was Raelyf requesting for some extra tackle: he had a tengu probed down close by but needed some extra help to take down the T3 cruiser. However, when you have a fleet of about 22, the ransom pay out is quite low. The craziness continued with our regular fleet favourite, the eve-dependable low-sec noob Shizraak getting volleyed by the sentry guns while he was in his hawk! Don't tackle on gates Shiz, you will die - that's the job of the Meatshield Bastards!

While we idled on a gate, preparing to move, a scorpion class battle ship landed and promptly jumped. We obviously followed him and tackled the feared Caldari ship and reduced it to scrap in a matter of moments. The pilot accused us of being cowards but we chuckled and grabbed the loot. Grabbing ships under gate gun fire isn't fun. As we were picking over the loot, we were then fortunate to catch a Loki. It landed on a gate, saw us and jumped. Unlucky for him, I was in a sleipnir and was on the entry gate for the Loki pilot. As soon as he undocked, I had him web scrambled and demanded a ransom, he refused the convo and the Loki unable to move off, fired at me in despairing fashion awaiting his fate. We then grabbed the pod and demanded a second ransom but once again, he refused.

In Katugumur was a drake from an alliance we had not heard of, so we got in close and tried to see whether he would bite. Which he did and we promptly melted him down to structure before I could even try a ransom. The drake pod raced back to the station with us in hot pursuit. It was then that his mate came out in an Abaddon, a deadly battle ship class vessel that had our fleet salivating at the prospect. He made the decision to target Arrhideaus whom we tried to save but the mighty lasers of the Abaddon cut through Arrhi's harbinger just as he was almost into warp. However, we took revenge and dog piled him and smashed him to scrap. Since we didn't want him to dis-engage his lasers and dock up we did not bother to ransom him.

It's a knock out

Of course, the battle ship pilot complained that we blobbed him but we pointed out that the only way to kill a battle ship within docking distance of a station is to take it down quickly with as many ships as possible. Not elegant solution but an effective solution.

Open Night with The Bastards - another drunk roam?
Anyway, there's been a number of people who have been asking for another open roam with The Bastards, whether it is a drunk roam or not is partly dependent on the state of my liver and kidneys but I think I will manage it. Low-sec and null-sec roam, with drinks and drunkeness the order of the day (or night) with a twist; we will also be doing the AFK FC concept as well.

It is coming up soon, within two weeks so contact either me or TheHermit or leave a comment here and I will get the details to you. Just make sure you get hold of a T1 cruiser hull with as many weapons as you can cram onto it AND make sure you have your favourite drink handy. I have been told to stay away from Jagermeister shots...

Drunk roam carnage

Laters.

F

Hulkageddon IV and our new website...

2011-02-22T12:45:00.000Z

Hulkageddon IV

And we're off!

Hulkageddon IV kicked off on the 19th February 2011 and The Bastards have been in the thick of things. We've gone through a bunch of destroyers already and both The Bastards and The Meatshield are doing a great many evil things to mining ships in high security space. What has been nice and heart-warming have been the cheers of encouragement and well-wishers from those on the sidelines: many of them miners themselves!

The Bastards have enough to roam out far and wide and in two to three gangs. I have noticed that other corporations are using smaller teams of 1-3 pilots and ships and using battle cruisers to enact their suicidal damage. We've opted for teams of 4-6 and in destroyer hulls instead. We found that they're the most cost effective out of all the ship hulls available.

With our scouts out and about and well wishers feeding us information about miners we've been quite active but unfortunately for myself, I have been ill since Friday, 18th February and therefore unable to participate fully. However, The Bastards have leaders far more capable than I activity is as high as ever. Additionally, if people are interested in joining in - we set up a new corp called 'MEATSHIELD' to bolster our numbers for HK IV specifically as well as giving those new to piracy an avenue to pirate with The Bastards over the long-term. The recruitment link is here. We've also enabled a nifty online recruitment website too which leads me to....

New Website and KillBoard and all that!

Yes, you may have noticed that we have updated our website and created an alliance wide killboard that pools both The Bastards and The Meatshield Bastards into one board - in addition to keeping two separate ones for each corp. With an upgrade to our ransom-board and a new skin to the forums; everything looks great.

Long awaited features (well for us) have been added and will be updated over the next couple of weeks. All very exciting and I can't wait to see them live. Thanks has to go to TheHermit for his work on this assisted by RoninData who made his appearance and proved everyone that he was NOT in a Spanish prison but was alive and well.

Anyway, just noticed the new Eve Blog banter. Going to work on that as I crawl back to bed.

More later.

F*ck your Subaru I have a horse outside & The Drunk Roam

2011-02-16T13:51:00.001Z

Round One - Drunk Roam

The store...

"F*ck your subaru, I have a horse outside!"

My tea

Flash re-scrolled through the ships logs and shook his head gingerly. The alcohol hadn't quite left his system from the night before and jump cloning to a different clone would be counter-productive. The statement, this proclamation was repeated, with some variation throughout the log files. He was a bit perturbed as to what it meant and who started it. Macy, Flashfresh's ever efficient personal assistant, strode in with a hot beverage balanced professionally on a silver tray.

"Sir, your tea as requested."

Flashfresh grunted a thanks and reached over for it. Taking a sip, he relaxed back into his worn leather chair.

"Macy, you are a life saver. Pity it feels like someone took a pee in my mouth. Bleurghh." Flashfresh grimaced and took another deep slurp of some fine Dragon Pearl green tea.

Dragon Pearl Tea

"Some people pay money for that." Muttered Macy under her breath. Flashfresh didn't catch what she said and instead concentrated on the monitor before gesturing at the screen with the cup of tea. Some of the tea sloshing out.

"You see, what I don't understand is - what the hell is this?" Flashfresh played a segment of the voice chat from the roam he was reviewing. It sounded like a bunch of wild hyenas high on some sort of laughter inducing drug. Or a bunch of drunk ass pirates. Then, booming from the multiple speakers:

"F*ck your mitsuibishi, I have a horse outside!"

Flashfresh replayed the last segment twice more to Macy who merely shrugged her indifference. She's been working for The Bastards and Flashfresh for the last five years and frankly, nothing surprised her.

"I suggest sir, that you go back and review all the ship, combat, medical and communication logs from the pilots who were present to build up a more accurate picture? Use the new AI software that was uploaded last week."

I gotta go...

Macy then reached over and her fingers danced across the keyboard. A program booted up and before Flashfresh could say anything, the entire roam was re-assembled into a coherent stream complete with time-line and animation.

"I hope that helps sir. Will that be all?" Enquired Macy, quite clearly on her way out and onto more important things. Flashfresh stared at the new programme in wonder and realised that he could almost re-insert himself into the roam, like a fly on the wall. Superb.

Macy excused herself while Flashfresh sat back slurping his tea.

Flashfresh replayed the mission log, following the fleet as it jumped (or lurched) from one system to another. Flashfresh was apparently, the fleet commander, though he had trouble remembering the exact details.

"F*ck your mitsuibishi, I have a horse outside!"

This is the horse?

There it was again, being broadcasted to everyone in local....

Anyway, after a few hours of combing through log files and fleet manifests and replaying from multiple view points the picture of the beginnings of the drunk roam became clear.

The composite fleet composed of the following brave and so-to-be drunk pilots:

Flashfresh
Dil'e Mahn
Eloha Lightbane
Peaster
Harlon Mathuin
Max Ursa
Shizraak
Marco Drack
Greygor Butenstein
Sophtia (not drinking)
Leroxee
...and others?

Dil'e Mahn's
weapon of
choice

It appears that Dil'e Mahn thought it would be good for everyone to have at least one smart bomb and with some alarm, Flashfresh realised that he had managed to fit a large smartbomb onto his rupture! Everyone else also fitted some form of area effect weapon. He also decided that we would be going into null-sec too to ensure that we could use said AOE weapons without sentry guns shooting the fleet. So the group, already inebriated slammed into Syndicate space and raced around looking for trouble.

The Hapless Shizraak

Shizraak apparently maintained his reputation of dying first to a non-capsuleer. Last time, he died to some adventurous Serpentis pirates in a belt (he got killed by rats!) but this time he got Concorded. The voice logs was full of laughter and insults as Shizraak raced onwards to grab another ship. Meanwhile, the fleet approached the PF-346, pausing one jump away at FD-MLJ. There was a dramiel buzzing around the FD-MLJ gate in PF-346 so some people thought it would be good to jump and scare them! Marco, took drunk to care apparently dived in with his bellicose. Flashfresh rewound the log and checked again, Marco was indeed in a bellicose hull. Unusual for Marco, who was more at ease in either a dramiel or a hurricane hull.

Flashfresh continued to play the log and amid the yelling and jeering, Marco said that there were one-, no, two-, no, three Machariel class battleships appearing 200+ km away. All snipe fit no doubt. They started to target the drunken pirate who was trying to get back to the gate. Then Marco did something that took Flashfresh utterly by surprise. The pirate lit a cynosural field.

Marco, he go BOOM.

Flashfresh replayed the log file and scrutinized the telemetry. Indeed, Marco Drack had dropped a cyno and the three Macherials (plus Dramiel) immediately dropped their locks and sped out of range, fearing for their lives. Unfortunately, the cyno was fitted for laughs only. There would be no capital class ships racing to Marco's rescue and soon the three, initially alarmed Macherial pilots came back and realizing that it was a false alarm, volleyed Marco's bellicose to scrap. Flashfresh grimaced at the last second's worth of telemetry from the battered Bellicose. He also grimaced at the cost of the fuel.

Oddly, the event galvanized the drunken fleet into more acts of bravado. Minutes later, the drunk fleet was engaged one jump away by elements of the same Macherial gang. No doubt, they realised that this fleet was piloted by Captains and crew who were completely drunk and incapable of anything remotely threatening, unless it was crashing into stargates or something.

It was at this time that Flashfresh realised he was reviewing his own combat logs. He was also listening to his own voice, albeit a bit more ragged and slurred but it was his voice. He heard himself call the harbinger primary but went after it with his lone large smart bomb. Flashfresh then saw from the churning combat logs that he was jammed and jammed again. In fact, the enemy brought three falcons into the fray just to even things up.

JManza (was he drunk?) managed to tank most of them in his ferox but unable to fire back, he died. It pained Flashfresh greatly to see that on JManza's killmail, there were alliance mates on it. Such is the danger of the smart bomb. Not very smart when the Captains firing these area effect weapons were drunk. At least people sounded like they were having a blast.

Round Two - My Gun is bigger than yours!

Some of the lads?

After a break and refit - the drunk fleet went out again. This time, Flashfresh discovered that his drunken self had opted for the infamous 'Oversized clip and carbine' roaming theme. This is where one tries to fit a massive weapon onto the hull of your ship. Fitting cruiser sized weapons onto frigate hulls or battle ship weapons onto cruiser hulls for example. Only crazy, drunken Bastards would even contemplate such a fit. However, it looked like part two of the drunk roam was well attended.

My gun is bigger than
yours....

Flashfresh scruntinised the log files and discovered that he had managed to bolt on a dual 180mm auto canon quite easily, which he found very surprising. In fact, Flashfresh managed to cram all sorts of goodies on the destroyer but failed at the almost obligatory smart bomb. With the oversize, weaponised destroyers the fleet undocked - this time, in a very drunken haze.

With scouts racing ahead (a rifter with a large auto canon?) the fleet went North and through Ostingele, a local hot-spot. There were targets for sure and things looked promising. Medical telemetry data that was available told Flashfresh that all the pilots were probably operating at 50% combat efficiency. However, their courage knew no bounds and tried to goad some of the locals into a fight. Sitting in a flashy destroyer on the gate looked like bait but in fact, was some Captain too drunk to bother jumping. The locals appeared to be spooked as their scanners no doubt picked up a fleet of frigates and destroyers, stationary for most of the time. Surely a trap?

The covert scout (also a bit tipsy) managed to get close to a drake a few times but the the fleet just couldn't get round to warping in. All this chasing was interrupting the drinking it would appear. Eventually, Flashfresh gave the order to jump into the top belt and wait.

Soon enough, an assault frigate warped into the belt at 100km and spied the ships. He then took off. Apparently, at the same time - the pod pilots all tried to moon the pilot. How this was possible inside a capsule remains to be debated. Violence was imminent however as the remote medical telemetry detected an increase in adrenaline and endomorphic drugs. The Bastards were ready as can be.

Sure enough, the enemy came in and in force too: hurricanes, drakes, stabbers - it was a good fleet and a right dust up. With some alarm, Flashfresh realised that his drunken self was not paying attention at all to the battle and activated a salvager on a stabber! I died.

Taking a deep sip of tea he replayed the horribly one-sided fight as the Bastards, cackling manically tried to do, well something. It was unclear what worked but the only thing they definitely achieved was bemusing the attackers. A 'good fight' was exchanged in local and it was then that Prophet started to yell out in local:

"F*ck your subaru, I have a horse outside!" - much to the bemusement to all of the attackers.

A link was posted in the fleet chat to clarify and Flashfresh, through the log files followed the hyperlink (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljPFZrRD3J8) and watched the video.

After a few minutes, Flashfresh couldn't help but laugh, other fleet members continued with what looked like the motto of the night's fleet.

"F*ck your drake, I have a horse outside."

It was funnier (apparently) on the night.

Roam three - hiding behind that hi-sec pocket
Amazingly, the fleet still thought that they could continue to roam. Flashfresh checked the logs and indeed, the fleet was largely intact but the level of alcohol in his blood stream was eye-watering high. Flashfresh was sure that this was true for this fleet mates too.

Shhh, we're hunting
er, wabits!

This time, the drunk fleet decided to sneak into a low-sec pocket near Iges. It had a single high-sec system as a buffer and then there was an eight low-sec system ring. Obviously, only fast aligning ships could be used so frigates and cruisers were selected and with barely enough time to refuel the ships, the fleet was back out and jumping into high security space. As was now customary someone shouted out in local:

"F*uck your missions, I have a horse outside!"

Racing through high security space is always interesting as it is a race to see whether the local faction navies can grab you before you align and get out. With only a single jump it was quite easy. Within 30 seconds, the drunk fleet had assembled in the low-sec pocket and started to hunt.

The locals, enjoying the safety of having a high-sec pocket in front as a buffer were slow to react to the presence of the pirates in their midst it would appear....however, the drunk fleet was criminally slow to react too.

It was decided that probing and scanning was hurting the fleet's collective heads so Flashfresh gave the order to sit on a gate and grab 'something'. A cyclone came through and the frigates and destroyers all lit up. Of course, the sentry guns went off too but apparently the fleet assumed that the beer blanket they had would protect them.

How wrong they were. The cyclone pilot had a shock but survived the feeble assault. He even quipped in local.

[23:56:50] X Gallentius: I hope sombody mentions something about going gcc on a gate with a dessie!!

Undocking...

Followed by blagging in local how fail the pirates were in attempting to tackle him on the gate. If only he knew the truth and that it was the alcohol that was directing the fleet and not common sense.

Flashfresh then grimaced as he read his own ship log and he vaguely remembered that he had a cunning plan. He replayed the conversation and heard himself speak to his fleet.

"Chaps, I will get this fool of the gate. I will warp to the gate at 100 km and blow myself up. He will come over and inspect the wreck and boom! We kill him!" Everyone in the fleet failed to acknowledge this plan as either being good or bad. Most apparently were too caught up in whatever they were doing. However, Flashfresh discovered that he went right ahead. Shaking his head at the memory of this, most dumb move ever - Flashfresh replayed the scene from the ship logs. How the rifter landed 100 km from the gate, while still under a global criminal countdown. How the sentry guns reached out and pulverized his ship in about two salvoes and how, well - it was just a stupid idea.

Amazingly, Flashfresh managed to get his pod back into Iges and docked up. He doesn't actually remember leaving his pod but quite clearly he did: he woke up a couple of hours ago in his own bed. He had vague recollections of emerging from his pod, armed and spoiling for a fight. Flashfresh hoped he didn't actually discharge his weapon.

There was a flashing new message notification and Flashfresh clicked on the icon and read the message. It was sent by Flashfresh, last night to everyone. It was rambling:

Who is this asleep on
my table?

"Pointed the door as it refused to open. No idea why my ship died. Who stole my drink. Did you kill it? Asshole. Need another roam. Tomorrow! Asshole!"

Good times indeed.

Drunk Roam - Getting ready

2011-02-11T09:09:00.004Z

This roam is on: http://i-pirate.blogspot.com/2011/01/new-makeover-therefore-new-drunken-roam.html

Thanks for the updates from people.

Preparation:

1. Half a bottle of 2 litre bottle Disaronno (drank the rest this week)? check
2. 3.5 litres of coke? - check
3. A full meal around 19:00? - Organised so should be ok, check
4. Ensuring that I have a pillow and blanket nearby? - check
5. Ice in the freezer? - Check
6. Tell the missus that I might be away downstairs 'for some time'? - check
7. Send reminder update via email / evemail to peeps? - No yet

Everyone else: join our ingame channel 'Independence'. Shout that you want to get DRUNK and shoot things. A squad commander, who I hope isn't drunk, will try and fleet you up.

Kick off from 20:15 onwards - assuming that I haven't started early then someone will have to lead the rabble out without me!

The so called 'crap T1 cruisers' - let's go for a roam!

2011-02-07T17:08:00.001Z

I hear a lot of people laughing at the use of the exequoror or bellicose as vehicles for piracy. Certainly, they are not fashionable craft by any stretch of the imagination when compared to the tried and tested rupture and thorax hull, to name two T1 cruiser hulls. Well this is going to change.

I trawled through the so called list of these poorer t1 cousins:

Caldari: Moa & Osprey
Gallente: Exequoror and Celestis
Amarr: Maller & Augoror
Minmater: Scythe & Bellicose

Am actually quite impressed with these ship hulls, why all the negativity?

I always like to have themes for The Bastards roams (we've had drunk roam, lolfit roam, oversized clip and carbine roam etc etc) and I sense that the crap cruiser roam needs to be looked at. So, there's a roam that I am organising and it will feature nothing but T1-so-call-crap-cruiser-hull roam.

I quite the look of the bellicose and thanks to Lady Shaniqua, I have a decent fit.

Those who have been invited should have an evemail or email from me or TheHermit already. Pirates interested in submitting a request to join this roam need to do so quickly, just convo me or join the in-game chat channel 'INDEPENDENCE' or evemail me.

I would also be interested in some piracy viable fits for any of the above ships. Let's give these ships a little run eh?

More later.

F

Food fleet gank cruiser roam, the disconnect and the arm-chair FC.

2011-02-03T17:17:00.000Z

VIOLENCE

Violence - T1 style
The T1 gank cruiser is a ship variant that greatly appeals to me. It is based on a relatively cheap T1 cruiser hull and configured to deliver the biggest wallop possible and as cheaply as can be. Usual choice ships include the thorax and rupture.

So it was back to this ship type for some of us though the MEATSHIELD and applicants were in an assortment of frigates and cruisers. Their job was simply: sweep ahead of the main group and run into potential targets and camps and engage them. Since we were heading into low- and null-sec it was going to be an interesting trip.

When we undocked I received some complaints from a few of my pilots that their graphical interface on inside their capsules was having problems updating itself. It appeared to be much more than just a localised event. It got so bad that we ended up losing three pilots to it, taking a significant chunk out of our DPS.

The Food Fleet

Food fleet - everyone loves food

No matter, we raced into Syndicate space eager for ransoms and loot. As per Bastard culture, roams are usually themed and I decided that each ship had to named after a national or regional dish that the pilot was familiar with and had already tasted and felt compelled to share with the rest of his fellow pilots. Our roams, while fun should also be educational!

To kick off the process, I decided to call my rupture of doom, 'Harissa' - the national dish of Armenia. It is very nice, filling and tasty. I recommend this dish to anyone. Go on, give it try. Now the roam demonstrated the length and breadth of us pirate's culinary experiences from around the world and I was amazed and delighted at the offerings.

As an example we had the following culinary delights (all vouched by each pilot):

Deep fried mars bar, a dish peculiar to Scotland and nominated by Lord Breathnach.
Yorkshire Pudding, from Yorkshire, England nominated by Max Ursa.
Fu Fu (baby puncher) originally from Ghana and nominated by Red Vegas. The 'baby puncher' was the original name of the ship. He just added 'Fu Fu' to the front of it. Makes me wonder why it was called baby puncher in the first place....
Frikandel, from The Netherlands by Fenneck. Loved how Fenneck referred to the main ingredient as 'inferior meat' - a nice, evocative term.
Lutefisk by Dahghda reflecting his Scandinavian origins. Fishey!
Watergruwel by Anaka Totoch
Scouse by Leroxee - initially, I thought Lero was advocating cannibalism of our NorthWestern kith and kin, but no it is the name of the dish for those who didn't know.
Pupusa by Wamphyrri - this dish looks lovely and I thank Wamp for now making me want to get hold of some pupusa.
Cornish Pasty by TFS Tibbs, the humble pasty but what a fascinating history!....and other dishes nominated by the other pilots that I can't quite remember.

So the rag tag gank cruiser food fleet left our docking station with violence, haikus, food and fun in mind. We blundered towards Syndicate space but there was an odd issue with the global GUI in which some of our pilots frequently disconnected. We lost TheHermit, Captain Blackler and Dil'e. With some reduced firepower we threw ourselves through null-sec space, our Meatshield pilots (with Arrihadeus joining them) racing ahead - imminent violence in mind.

Just before we got into the entry system into Syndicate we had a tussle with a drake and a stabber. Both pilots then turning up with friends in battleships to continue the fight.....a fight which didn't happen as it wasn't on our terms. We're pirates and there would be no coin in fighting an opponent who had our number.

The night had to have some comedy though: we spotted a velator, all lonely in space and Leroxee, in his caracal decided to blow it up! He dropped his cross hairs onto the noob ship, loaded up his missiles into their tubes and yelled in joy as they streaked off towards their target! Sentry guns spun up in response (sentry guns? Oh no...) and smothered Leroxee's ship in explosive ordnance. His pod popped out before he could even yell out in alarm.

There was much laughter.

We had already exited Syndicate and we were in Solitude region, a low-sec region of space with sentry guns positioned around the gates and stations. Leroxee couldn't even board the velator since he had blown it up already.

Still space was sparsely populated and then, everyone's GUI flashed with a universal warning: the super-computers linking the capsule operating system was about to go down in 30 minutes! Amidst groans and curses we turned around to head back. Anaka Totoch, in his blackbird was racing ahead, daring for someone, anyone to fire on him.

We did catch a flashy maelstrom on the gate - he was with a cynabal friend and there was a harbinger lurking around. The cynabal wasn't flashy but we engaged it anyway. The maelstrom pilot ambled back towards the gate without firing on us, we then had him webbed. He then fired back, probably to get rid of the webbers as he was now slow-boating towards the gate. It was at this point that Arrhidaeus' seat broke. I have no idea why but his announcement drew much hilarity.

BOOM

The maelstrom went down - his cynabal friend did not assist but warped away. We even grabbed and podded the pilot's capsule.

So we docked up and stepped out of our pods for a while.

Round 2 had us quickly scan down and grab a stabber. We ransomed the pilot for a haiku and he delivered an excellent offering:

I began haiku, I cannot remember when, It was in this game

As we released the stabber pilot, a harbinger came roaring in and started to attack the stabber pilot! We felt mild outrage and decided to engage the interloper. I was in the next system and wondered if it would be a prelude to something: sure enough a tempest came roaring in. We had a rapier, a rupture, a cane and a jaguar versus a harby and tempest. Not too bad but we were in a poor position, tactically - being all spread out. The Harby went down just as our hurricane was blown to bits. We now had to tackle the tempest with a jag, arbitrator, rapier and rupture. We could do.....but not that night. I lost 'Harissa' and everyone else had to bail. The Arbitrator was caught too and shredded by the tempest's might guns. So a good fight but very galling - we had lost the loot!

Doubt Chuck Norris can FC from his arm-chair...

Interestingly, the stabber pilot (Charon Chiron) applied to join us such was our impact on this pilot. Also, TheHermit, while not in space with us was following the entire roam on voice communications. I decided that it would be typical of us Bastards to do something fun and crazy and I am going to ask TheHermit to FC a roam, entirely from his armchair. He will have Ombey's excellent 2D maps and our voice comms and he will do his best to FC a fleet of my choosing through low- and null-sec space without being there. Am going to call it the 'Armchair General Roam', will keep you all posted.

New makeover therefore, new drunken roam needed!

2011-01-27T18:10:00.000Z

My liver has finally recovered from the pre-New Year, post-Christmas drunken roam and I want to thank all the pilots who attended, all the pilots who sent me funny emails and evemails about it and those who have been asking for more!

Well, I am not the man to turn down a good idea now am I? Anyway, more later on 'drunken roam number 2' and details of invitations, locations etc a bit later.

MY FACE

An older portrait

The newer version

It was with some trepidation that I asked for my portrait to be retaken. I do hate all forms of photography though Shae's rendering of me is very nice and I approved of it.

Still, I subjected myself to this folly and insisted on a more natural shot - none of this posing for me so a photographer of some renown followed me around and took pictures. Lots of pictures and I have to say, I am quite happy with the results. I can also see that many pod pilots, with a constant need for change will be more than happy to pay ISK to tweak their appearances. Just wait and see.

MEATSHIELD [QUORN]
The Bastards have been swamped by applications to the corporation, more so with our recent antics in Hulkageddon I, II & III. With this in mind and our desire to retain as many potentially decent pirates as we could. We set up another corporation to take these pilots in: a fair percentage of those we didn't accept were either too time poor to join full time or lacking in certain skill sets. Many who were declined a place stayed on with us as friends, flying with us in our fleets and getting to know us. Other interested parties wanted to experience piracy but wanted to do this with lower skilled alts. Then we knew that Hulkageddon IV would be coming along and we were active participants in the event so why not try and kill as many birds with one stone as possible?

Form a new corporation that:

1. Can act as a convenient staging corporation for those who want to apply to The Bastards
2. Will take in lower level SP pirates and get them experienced in low-sec piracy, then pick then for The Bastards.
3. Will allow alts and those who want more casual style of play or who are time-poor to experience piracy with The Bastards.
4. Can provide the necessary man-power to help us achieve greater success in Hulkageddon IV, since all we're asking for is Destroyer IV and a racial frigate to IV.
5. Can provide our budding FCs with small fleets to learn the ropes.

So, forming a corporation under The Bastards Alliance was therefore a complete no-brainer. I asked my good friend Tim Kang to step in as CEO. He was in charge of the 'Offshore Indian Call Centre' corporation, a previous executor for The Bastards and was now looking for a job. Perfect.

Recruitment post for MEATSHIELD

So any budding pilots who want to get involved with The Bastards and Hulkageddon IV - follow the link above, reply to it (so you can bump it) and then follow the instructions to apply. We've already accepted a fair few and they're settling in nicely.

We went on a roam last night and it was great fun: a mixed fleet of 20 odd ships racing around. Inevitably we ran into an even bigger group and lost the fight but that is the way the cookie crumbles especially with new members. More to follow but everything is looking great.

Hulkageddon IV
Oh yes, this has now been officially announced for a February 19th (Saturday) and we can't wait. One of the drivers to get more pilots was to have our new chaps throw themselves screaming into high-sec space and kill miners. What fun! Since The Bastards has always been a small corporation, larger numbers certainly gives us more time zone coverage. Last time, TheHermit more or less stayed awake the entire time. Not this time, I don't think there's enough caffeine in the world to do it!

There's more information here: HK IV FAQ

Oddly, there is a counter-event in response to Hulkageddon called: 'Griefer Geddon'. Details are here and I applaud whoever decided on this event. Good luck to both sets of participants!

Drunken Roam, Guilty Pleasures & Hooray for Hulkageddon Roam!
So, with the formation of Meatshield [QUORN], Hulkageddon IV just round the corner and my liver now just about back to normal, I think it is a fine time to organise another such roam and to celebrate the formation of a new corporation for a fine bunch of pirates and the start of a glorious week-long session of destruction!

Date: FRIDAY, 11 FEB 2010 or FRIDAY, 18th FEB 2010 (will go with the one with the most numbers)
Time: 21:15 EVE TIME
Form-up time: 20:15 EVE TIME
Location: Will be sent to those interested in due course but previous attendees should know where it is.
Route: TBD - but all over the place no doubt...
Duration: Until we run out of ships or the FC collapses from too much alcohol

Aim: Crazily fitted T1 frigate/cruiser roam around low-sec and null-sec; it will end when we have no ships left in the fleet (or we fall off our chairs drunk).

We are to have fun, drink and be merry. Emphasis on the drink and merry bit. No sad faces.

OMG Whiskey!

Like the last roam, the idea is to have fun. There's no better lubricant for fun then alcohol and lots of it! Ratting for ammo is expected. Throwing ourselves into danger at the first opportunity is expected.

Of course, we have to pace ourselves as there will be plenty of chances to drink so the roam should still last the usual two hours. As an added incentive, we do love music so I ask everyone who wants to attend (or who can't but want to be involved) to submit 3-5 music tracks that they file away under ' guilty pleasures' - you know the ones: the 80s power ballads that you secretly sing to, that Britney Spears song that you can't help wiggle to and the Top Gun tunes you have on full blast when you're PvP. You know the ones. Submit them and I will either create a YouTube play list or better yet, submit the lot to Eve-Radio (or some other Radio station) as a two-hour request / dedication. Now isn't that a good idea?

Everyone read the requirements carefully.

REQUIREMENTS:

++FUN roam, no sad faces!!++

1. Join the in-game channel 'INDEPENDENCE' for details and fleet pick up on the day.
2. Any T1 frigate/cruiser fitted out with whatever you want.
3. Yes, fit a rupture with lasers if you want.
4. Or a thorax with arties and missiles.
5. Or a rifter with a cruiser sized weapon.
6. Or bring a Celestis, sorry Lady Shaniqua!
7. Mix your weapon systems. Why? because we can and that's how we roll.
8. Points required of course, we can't have people running away.

Pirate force someone to drink to excess

9. We each drink a shot of spirits (or beer) every half hour during the roam and after each ship kill and after each ship loss and for every ransom.
10. Aim is to see who can stay up for the longest.
11. Ventrilo - working with mic in place.
12. Needs to be frapsed with some vent recordings as well.
13. If you decide to fit a stab (why not?) then you have to say 'STABBED!' in local, take a shot of alcohol and then RUN like the wuss you are when you get tackled. If you do this and get smack - everyone else will need to take a shot on your behalf.
14. Tell me what is your drink(s) of choice for the night.
15. Any other rules that the FC wants to make up on the night.

Interested? Then contact us using the one of the following methods:

1. Post a comment here.
2. Contact me on flashfresh@the-bastards.com
3. Contact TheHermit on thehermit@the-bastards.com
4. Contact me or TheHermit ingame via conversation or evemail

Go on, it will be fun (again)...

Drunken roam and my vague recollections of it with some back seat FC and lolfits.

2010-12-30T01:08:00.002Z

The Gang

I have to admit, that this particular blog is based on a rather hazy memory: please see the previous post to understand the special circumstances of this operation.

After eating and drinking to excess during the festive period it was time to go for a roam and while I wanted to link into the fleet early, real life events had prevented me from achieving this so I finally found myself in fleet comms only 90 minutes before showdown.

The fleet was a 'nice' mix and it was a pleasure to see some new faces along with the old. It was an open invite to anyone and not just limited to The Bastards and their close associates.

Flashfresh - drinking disarano & coke and flying omni-tanked rupture.
TheHermit - drinking Baileys, Vodka and Budweiser and flying an armour tanking blackbird)
Leroxee - drinking Vodka and Coke.
Lord B -
TFS Tibbs (armour tanked bellicose)
Red Vegas -
Mike Azariah (slasher or blackbird then bestower)
Shizraak - drinking sherry and brandy
Max Ursa - drinking crabbies, vodka and coke
Tallgunman
Mei Kholov - drinking coffee & baileys
Crefakis - drinking CHAMPAGNE, (in a logistics moa)
Dil'e Mahn - drinking Hertogjan (in the smartbombing tristan)
Commander Mordecai
WarFlower
Finheri - drinking Cherry lambrini
Kalaratiri

The undock...

The fleet was an eclectic mix of ships including: an armour tanking blackbird (TheHermit), a smart-bombing Tristan (Dil'e Mahn), an omni-tanked, small hybrid blaster equipped Rupture (Me), an armour tanked, stabbed bellicose (TFS Tibbs), a lazor celestis and a logistics moa (Crefakis) and other ships. If people could send in their EFT fits for the ships they flew during the evening; please do so and I will alter the post appropriately. Just remember: whatever goes onto the internet, stays around forever.

Leroxee: pee where you stand

BEER!

The horrid fleet undocked and roared through low-sec, drinking one shot each time we successfully jumped gates. After all, what was the point of a drunken roam if one didn't make up as many excuses as possible to drink alcohol?

Missed target?

The first viable target we tried to tackle was a Jaguar class assault frigate who was sitting apparently motionless at a gate. We naturally tried to tackle it and the fail fleet failed to cause any significant shield damage before he jumped back through. I think if was either Cref or Finheri who made the initial tackle but even at this early stage, it was difficult to concentrate. We lost one ship to the gate guns due to our (in)actions. I think it was Mike in his 'special' blackbird. No matter, taking another shot of alcohol we simply told the ship-less pilots to grab anything they could and to join us when able. This was when Mike Azariah, who was one of our more law-abiding pilots (he had a positive sec status!) who sportingly went about acquiring a GCC (gate gun tanking blackbird for the win) and then docked up to get any ship to continue the drunken roam. He ended up flying a bestower with no weapons. He was the ultimate bait ship and he couldn't even fire back. We saluted Mike Azariah for his balls though I reckon Mike Azariah probably would have settled for anything that could shoot back. I felt his pain.

Drunk people crossing...

So with no kills to our name and two losses, we settled on the TXW-EI gate - entry point into Syndicate space and null-sec goodness. With only one scout, we jumped in - and found no-one. Not deterred and drinking another shot since we had successfully activated a gate, we moved on pushing Mike Azariah and his lozenge shaped Bestower ahead of us as bait.

As we were travelling, a few of the fleet were asking for ammunition - it appeared a few of us had no ammunition whatsoever! So, I had a bright idea: we would hunt the local pirates for ammunition as well as hopefully obtaining some gun for Mike Azariah's bestower. So yes, the feared pirates (most too drunk to care) started ratting with abandon in Syndicate. I bravely gave the order to go ratting, no-one under my fleet had heard in a very long time. I slurred primary and secondary targets:

"Primary is the rear admiral and secondary is.....the rear admiral".

I heard 'POINT on Serpentis Core Admiral!' and knew that this was an elite and kick-ass fleet. Quality target calling by me, right there. We were set for the night and settled in.

Dil'e Mahn: "let's join a pirate roam", I thought, "it'll be a nice difference from the usual carebearing", I thought..Now they get me ratting.

TheHermit, fearing that his treasured negative security status (hovering around -9.983) would be affected jumped into the next system (5-FGQJ) to avoid any CONCORD sanctioned security status gains.

TheHermit: runing my sec status by ratting :(

TheHermit *did* start mining though. That dirty boy. Spelling mistake above is left from original conversation logs...

There was a cry and we jumped around, scanning local and the d-scanner: it was Shizraak and he had lost his ship. Local was all blue so what was going on? He had warped to a belt and lost his gatling laser slasher to one of the local rats who with one-shot, took out his ship. We all laughed. The idea was to lose ships to other pod pilots not the dumb locals. Here's the convo pulled up from the pod logs:

Shizraak: belt1 3 frigs and a bs!

(Pause)

Shizraak: lol
Shizraak: jst killed me
Shizraak: its the top belt
Warflower: LOL
Shizraak: yeh
Dil'e Mahn: lol
Crefakis: \o/
Leroxee: rofl
Shizraak: 1 shot lol
Warflower: GESUS!
Finheri: PMSL
TheHermit: lmao, epic
Dil'e Mahn: loot his ship, there's mods in there!!!
commander mordecai: someoe keep this logged :p
Warflower: Shizraak just made my night lol
TheHermit: yep
Leroxee: shiz, take a drink
Shizraak : doesnt evry1 for a lost ship lol?

However, once we had sufficient ships we moved on, TheHermit had spotted some potential targets, after some gate bouncing we located a loki! With a roar of drunkenness we engaged the loki. One loki became two (initially we thought we were seeing double) and then the loki was joined by others - lots of others. More targets for us but our failfit ships were well, failing.

We battered ourselves senseless against the loki before I belated switch to .....the rifter. Which we killed. TheHermit was unfortunately set as primary and went down hard, though he was armour tanked and had no ECM to save him. After killing the rifter, I exploded as I got hammered to scrap by 13 ships. I hope the victors enjoyed my killmail: the omni-tank rupture of doom.

we go boom...

We all had to take one shot per downed ship and there was plenty to quaff. I actually felt sick drinking the seven to eight shots saluting the lost ships. We also lost 3 pods (including mine) which was swiftly grabbed by a third party and then passed over to our resident body collector: TheHermit. Yes, TheHermit has my body, Leroxees and Crefakis (from The Gentleman of Low Moral Fibre) - I shudder to think what this deviant has in mind: probably some voodoo magic?

I whipped the pod home and decided that it was time for another hilarious fail fit as the drunken roam had to continue and I went back to an older Bastards roam: the oversized clip & carbine roam. So I plumbed the archives and fitted a dual-180mm auto canon to the rifter hull. Jury rigging extra girders and supports onto the front of the rifter. This was comedy gold and we rushed back into Syndicate.

Leroxee: i now have a heavy missile, an assault missile and a 75 mm gun on my BB

In X-BV98, we managed to grab a merlin whipping past us. We were actually focused on blasting the nasty warp disruption bubbles but had to get this shifty frigate. Interestingly, we caught the frigate and even I managed to fire off a couple of volleys. I think the rifter went backwards from the recoil! We podded the pilot too. Am unsure when we lost Mike and his 'lozenge' but well, we did. He was on his way home but stayed on in the communication channel until high-sec swallowed him up.

One more beer...

Meanwhile, Max Ursa was on his way back to us - after losing a ship and fair play to him, he took a shot on his entire journey to us. About 30 jumps, so 30 shots or sips of his alcoholic beverage of choice. Either way, respect to the man who re-joined us a bit worse for wear.

We continued into PF-346 and saw lots of bubbles and due to our alcoholic haze, we were suddenly enraged by the sight of these ugly shimmering things and proceeded to destroy them.

Dil'e Mahn: how many hitpoints do these mobile warp disruptors have? I'm in a AB fit so I might just fly up to it and bomb it to hell =]
Shizraak: a large has 40k shield and a shit toen more struct
Dil'e Mahn: well shit.
Shizraak: a small is 2.5k and 7.5k
Dil'e Mahn : I'm doing about 25DPS or something..

Suddenly my alarms went off and a tempest dropped out of warp. I quickly ordered another shot for everyone and vainly started to chase the tempest, sitting comfortably at 200 Km away. Of course, the alcohol made us feel that things were a lot faster so we did the Benny Hill and didn't get the tempest but he did pop my rifter. Serves me right for forgetting to orbit.

So we went back (drinking one shot per gate jump) and I ended up in a combat hoarder. Yes, decided to fit a gun to a hoarder and went right back out again. If Mike could do it, why can't I? We once again, found ourselves in Syndicate space and we were being shadowed by a flycatcher. We knew what was going to happen but I pushed my hoarder towards the interdictor and opened up with my peashooter. As if on cue, it fired off a disruption sphere and prevented anyone from warping out. No matter - we unloaded (as best as we could) onto the flycatcher and amazingly, managed to kill it. Check out Red Vegas in his noob ship, my combat hoarder and TheHermit in his Ibis of doom. Even more amazing, Dil'e Mahn firmly pointed an ejected canister instead of the flycatcher. That can wasn't leaving the scene, oh no.

Proof: Dil'e Mahn: I do know that in that rumble where we killed the flycatcher I was at some point firmly pointing a can...

However, it wasn't one-sided. The flycatcher was there to hold us (as if we were going to run?) and they dropped the hammer on us: hurricanes, drakes and others.

Just a nice picture of drunken woman - nothing to do with the
roam..

Our ibis went first, reaper went second, then Tibbs in his armour tanking Bellicose, I blew up in fourth place - the other fleet members also blew up and with the amount of alcohol sloshing around the pod, the explosions were spectacular!

Of course, being pirates - they were a wee bit surprised that I was in a hoarder and quickly got an evemail.

Reference: just killed you

From: ALTOTHEIX

Sent: 2010.12.29 00:53

To: flashfresh,

in a very crappy hoarder? wtf are you doing?

lol

I decided to go home with the capsule wobbling along.

Flash after his bio

OOC: I went upstairs for a bio, staggered into bed and fell asleep - drunk. My partner 'closed up shop for me'. I have no idea what was said by the remaining fleet mates who managed to coax my pod back into a station and she safely logged me out.

Of course, this drunken behaviour would definitely get noticed and so it was. A day later I got an letter with a some very distinctive looking graphics. It had KFC all over it. It smelt of fried chicken.

FIXED PENALTY NOTICE

From: Lady Shaniqua
Sent: 2010.12.29 23:08
To: flashfresh,

To FLASHFRESH PIRAT MAN

This is an OFFICAL NOTICE OF PENALTY CHARGES,ur case has been reviewed and you have been found GUILTY of FLYING A SPACE BOAT UNDER INFLUENCE OF DRINKING, ALSO you have been found GUILTY of LEADING A FLEET UNDER INFLUENCE OF DRINKING. Due to your co-operation your fine has been reduced.
YOUR FINE NOW STANDS AT SEVENTY MILLION ISK. To be payed to a representative of Kenssy Fried Chicken Kru.

SIGNED

OFFICER SHANIQUA

The post mortem of the roam was fun too; here's a snatch of it:

Dil'e Mahn: you got the same notice, hermit
Lady Shaniqua: OR ELSE WE SHALL BE FORCED TO COMENCE A CAMPAIGN OF JUSTIC UPON YOUR BOATS
Dil'e Mahn: oh
Dil'e Mahn: will that hurt?
TheHermit: lol so i did
Lady Shaniqua: Shizraak, TheHermit, Dil'e Mahn & flashfresh
Kane Rizzel: generally yes
Dil'e Mahn: was afraid so
flashfresh: Feck. What about ma kids officah? They gots to eat!
Lady Shaniqua: YOU SHOULD OF THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE MAKING KRIME
Dil'e Mahn: yeah, officer! I was only smartbombing a LITTLE bit
TheHermit: i cant afford those fines, im a lowly pirate
flashfresh: IT WAS THE A DEMON DRINK TALKING!!! OFFICAH Have mercy. It is ma first crime (self-incriminated)
Dil'e Mahn: I'm a tightwad carebear, so I'm not paying either
Lady Shaniqua: BE AWARE THAT WE KNOW YOU MIGHT HIDE IN IGES SOLAR SYSTEM YOUR MOVEMENT HAS BEEN MONITORED
TheHermit: Oh Noes dirty cops found my Super Sekret hidout
Lady Shaniqua: AS FOR YOU Dil'e Mahn. WE HAVE OTHER SECRET HIGH SEC OFFICAHS ABAL TO TRACK YOU
Draco Dreadskull: lulz busted
flashfresh: We is busted!
Dil'e Mahn: you have NOTHING on me, cop! NOTHING!
Dil'e Mahn: I'm taking this up with your supperiorz.
Lady Shaniqua: I HAV CONFESSION OF SENOIR OFFICER WHO MAK TALK TO LOWEWR HIS FINE
flashfresh: Gonna speed dial Max Clifford.
Lady Shaniqua: ALL COMPLAINTS TO BE DIRECTED TO Djuba. IF YOU HAVE ANY, IF YOU WISH TO APPEAL YOU MUST GO THROUGH Tony Ockabasi
flashfresh: WHO ARE THESE POLIC OFFICASALS?
Dil'e Mahn: as if I'd fall for that
Dil'e Mahn: they're in on this fillthy deal!
flashfresh: I only know Lady Shaniqua and will only deal with Officah Shaniqua
TheHermit: I will turn evidence against all my co conspirotors for a reduction of fines
Dil'e Mahn: ...
Dil'e Mahn: but... but... we FLEW together
TheHermit: /emote prepares his pointing finger
Dil'e Mahn: doesn't that count for ANYTHING anymore?
Dil'e Mahn: bleh, bloody pirates
flashfresh: Every man for himself!
Dil'e Mahn: I'm gonna run a L4 just to spite you
flashfresh: ..and I pointed first.
flashfresh: L4 - you horrible man.
TheHermit: mother told me you can alwqays trust a pirate.......
TheHermit: to be a pirate
Lady Shaniqua: THEHERMIT FLash already did that, THAT IS WHY YOU ARE FINED
Dil'e Mahn: says the guy who ratted with me
Dil'e Mahn: I have logs! I have proof!
TheHermit: damn my slow response time
TheHermit: /emote pulls teh vent recordings from teh night in question
flashfresh: Wait. You recorded the vent?
flashfresh: Feck.
TheHermit: lol
Dil'e Mahn: durn.
TheHermit: lmao it starts with calling primaries, of rats
flashfresh: ....yes....i remember.
flashfresh: seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dil'e Mahn: "primary is the rear admiral, secondary is the... rear admiral"
Dil'e Mahn: did we actually get guns from any of the rats, by the way?
flashfresh: That's quality target calling right there. I was on form.
Dil'e Mahn: ah, that must've been it then
Draco Dreadskull: sorry wut? someone recorded vent?
Shizraak: oh dear
flashfresh: Uh-huh.....
Dil'e Mahn: someone *claims* to have recorded vent
Dil'e Mahn: until the soundfiles have been made public and scrutinized and all that, it's just a claim
Dil'e Mahn: /emote holds on to that thought
Draco Dreadskull: uh oh
TheHermit: oh yes vent was recorded
Draco Dreadskull: i cant remember everything i said or did, i vaguely remember bombing in a thrasher
TheHermit: ill be uploading it later once i find some spare bandwidth
Draco Dreadskull: the gems
flashfresh: I don't think it will be that bad.....right?
TheHermit: its errrm.... entertaining
Dil'e Mahn: next thing you know someone's gonna be all happy and "oh look I've got it all frapsed" and suchlike
flashfresh: I bet.
Gorgoleon: hehe
Gorgoleon: fuck fuck fuck da police
TheHermit: my fraps died whilst recording
flashfresh: Gorgo - you would have been a fine addition to the crew; am sure you would have quaffed your volume in alcohol.
Draco Dreadskull: how fAR?
Gorgoleon: i was just shooting lady s )
flashfresh: You might get a fine...
Dil'e Mahn: or violenced...
Dil'e Mahn: or, more likely, both.
Lady Shaniqua: lol
Lady Shaniqua: so your to scared to go comet + wolf v jag so you bring in a vaga and still fail
Lady Shaniqua: KRIME DOES NOT PAY SEE
Gorgoleon: hehe
Gorgoleon: didnt bring him in, we were just talking on comms
Gorgoleon: nice fit though
Lady Shaniqua: shame i was up for v your comet and wolf
Gorgoleon: i was always gonna jump out though
Gorgoleon: nano wolf doesnt like scram :(
Gorgoleon: if u want 1vs1 just say in local - i honoured our last one
Lady Shaniqua: yeah and i would of got 30 secs on the comet before you got back in ofc THAT WA STHE PLAN :P
TheHermit: Good Night all, fly safe-ish
Dil'e Mahn: will do
Lady Shaniqua: o/
Dil'e Mahn: in fact, I'll log too, I have at least one day of work left this year
TheHermit: Dil'e ill get hold of you again in a couple of days talk through the HK stuff, Lady S, keep the Kriminals in order :p, Flash always a pleasure
Dil'e Mahn: and since crime doesn't pay according to some...

Nothing related to the roam either but awesome picture...

Merry christmas and drunken roam coming up - open to those interested.

2010-12-23T17:24:00.000Z

Christmas is a time when activity for some goes down as pilots from all professions emerge from the amniotic goo of their pods, blinking like new-born calves and head off home to family and friends. So, I just want to wish everyone a merry christmas and a happy new year.

Of course, this post isn't just me signing off but also to pass out an invite to any reader who would be interested in flying space ships, drunk with some pirates. Indeed, I believe we can call ourselves 'Santa Pirates' or 'Pirate Santas' or even, Pirating Santa as below:

Pirates grab Santa Claus

Anyway, this is an open invite to any reader who would like to relax and lose their sec status while getting drunk with The Bastards.

Details below:

DRUNKEN POST-CHRISTMAS DESERT ISLAND DISC ROAM WITH THE BASTARDS...

Date: TUESDAY, 28 DEC 2010
Time: 21:15 EVE TIME
Form Up time: 20:15 EVE TIME
Location: Will be sent to those interested in due course...
Route: TBD - but all over the place no doubt...
Duration: Until we run out of ships or the FC collapses from too much alcohol

Aim: Crazily fitted T1 frigate/cruiser roam around low-sec and null-sec; it will end when we have no ships left in the fleet (or we fall off our chairs).

We are to have fun, drink and be merry. Emphasis on the drink and merry bit.

OMG Whiskey!

It will be the post christmas period where one will still be eating the leftover turkey / ham / goose. Most of us will be feeling the effects. What better way than to overcome this than to undock in a fleet of ships piloted by people who feel just as bloated, ill and still hungover?

Combining this with our love of music, the format will include desert island discs, albeit a slightly inebriated version. One can't see Libby Purves being pissed doing this can you on Radio 4? Well we are!

Everyone read the requirements carefully.

REQUIREMENTS:

++FUN post-Christmas roam, no sad faces!!++

1. Join the in-game channel 'INDEPENDENCE' for details and fleet pick up on the day.
2. Any T1 frigate/cruiser fitted out with whatever you want.
3. Yes, fit a rupture with lasers if you want.
4. Or a thorax with arties and missiles.
5. Or a rifter with a cruiser sized weapon.
6. Or bring a Celestis.
7. Mix your weapon systems. Why? because we can and that's how we roll.
8. Points required of course, we can't have people running away.

Pirate force someone to drink to excess

9. We each drink a shot of spirits (or beer) every half hour during the roam and after each ship kill and after each ship loss and for every ransom.
10. Aim is to see who can stay up for the longest.
11. Music is required, so I want people to put together 8 (eight) tracks that they reckon are the dogs bollocks. An essential to everyone's collection. It is your desert island discs and you're drunk anyway, so pick what you want. We will try and play them on the night - so get your music onto a playlist in youtube or whatever.
12. Needs to be frapsed with some vent recordings as well.
13. If you decide to fit a stab (why not?) then you have to say 'STABBED!' in local, take a shot of alcohol and then RUN like the wuss you are when you get tackled. If you do this and get smack - everyone else will need to take a shot on your behalf.
14. Any other rules that the FC wants to make up...

Interested? Then contact us using the one of the following methods:

1. Post a comment here.
2. Contact me on flashfresh@the-bastards.com
3. Contact TheHermit on thehermit@the-bastards.com

4. Contact me or TheHermit ingame via conversation or evemail

Go on, it will be fun.

LOL kill of a falcon in high-sec, on a gate. No-one is safe...

2010-12-15T15:43:00.002Z

"Hey Flash, there's what looks life an AFK Falcon just sitting on the gate." Observed TheHermit. The Bastards had gathered together from our various travels and we were debating what to do. A falcon, sitting on a gate in high-sec all on its own?

Additionally, there was an obelisk sitting there as well. Both ships hung motionless about 12-13km from the gate into the Stacmon system.

Since the system was high-sec we had little chance to get into the system and ransom his ship but a quick, cheeky kill perhaps?

We quickly formed a plan: destroyers would be the ship of choice due to their low cost, high alpha and speed and we had about 11 pirates all ready to go. We were already roaming around killing and (trying) ransoming people but this was too good an opportunity to pass. We parked one of our cloaked scouts close to the falcon and kept an eye on him. The scout reported back that the falcon was not aligned, had zero velocity and there was no communication activity in local or otherwise.

The destroyers were quickly assembled, loaded up with enough ammunition for three volleys - any more and CONCORD would be on your ass and you would be jammed, neuted and killed so no need for more ammunition. The pilots then all raced to their pods and once inserted into the destroyers, signalled their readiness with docking clamps disengaged and their jostling for the exit point.

So, our scout reported that the falcon was still there and with a countdown - we undocked into high security space. Warning signs flashed up demanding that we leave the system due our criminal status but we politely dismissed them and sped our way to the hidden scout. We had to be fast, so soon as we dropped out of warp, we would lock the falcon and volley it before CONCORD drops on us. At most we would have two maybe three seconds to kill the ship. Hence, we needed numbers. Getting the pod killed would be a bonus too.

The ships computer counted down the range and I mentally readied myself as I have less than seven seconds left before dropping warp.

Six seconds. I pre-activated all my guns.

Five seconds. I overloaded the entire rack of guns.

Four seconds. I switched my overview to one that had ships only.

Three seconds. I hit the scanner to make sure that the target was still present.

Two seconds. I started to grin.

One second. My grin got bigger.

All 12 destroyers dropped out of warp and we all locked and volleyed the falcon. A dozen voices overlaid themselves across our communication net.

"Hermit has point. Firing."

"Selendris has point. Firing."

"Red Vegas is firing." Etc.

A mix of small artillery and blasters spat out a devastating volley of destructive ordnance. My overview exploded with CONCORD ships appearing on top of us. On the overview, the falcon dipped into armour and before I could observe any further - I was jammed and then violently separated from my ship. CONCORD's superior weapons wiping out our entire party.

The falcon was down however! We cheered especially when we saw the drop - more than enough to pay for our destroyed fleet and then some; though it was sad to lose the sisters probe launcher. Now, most people would be unimpressed with the kill - he was obviously AFK and therefore couldn't defend himself but keep in mind that everyone in our party was -5.0 or lower in terms of security status and we were in high-security space; thus faction police would be trying their hardest to scramble, web and then kill us just for travelling through their space in anything but a pod. Any hostile action from us would automatically bring down CONCORD on our heads. Finally, we were shooting the falcon under sentry guns as well. All in the thin-hulled destroyer class vessel.

Naughty Spawn, held his fire and went for the pod instead and he successfully smashed the pod before he too was destroyed by CONCORD. Naughty Spawn especially enjoys the squishing sound of pilot capsules rupturing and the amniotic fluid flash freezing in space.

Sometimes, people just don't pay enough attention and pay for it. Now, if only we had a fleet 20 times the size of our rag-tag destroyer fleet we would have then gone for the obelisk! Could 320 destroyers alpha an obelisk? I need a channel where I can call upon pilots to do just that.

The fun continued however: someone took offence at having criminals in their space. A pilot called 'Ydnari' came out in an area and managed to pinch Red Vegas on his way out. On returning we noticed that the 'Yndari' was now in a vexor and blocking up the undock point of the high-sec station that were racing towards.

We decided to take revenge and undocked en masse and kill the vigilante pilot, high-sec or not, we wanted his loot.

So we did.

High security space is 'safer' space. Not safe space.

Don't go for a pee in the middle of an op!!

2010-12-08T15:42:00.001Z

Another fun night with The Bastards; we've been running around Placid recently especially around the constellations around the 'Pain' solar system (yes, Pain - as in 'PAINFUL') - it is, to many people's surprise our headquarters. In the dark and distant past The Bastards corporation was started here and it is fun to come back. Don't get me started on what I discovered in the corp hangars when I finally gained access!

However, the roam we had (all battle cruisers) didn't work out quite as I expected: the first engagement was with some Gallente Militia pilots; they came in a variety of ships and landed on our out gate as the fleet rumbled towards our target system. I was moving ahead of the main fleet, one behind my scout and had a secondary FC in place to take care of things. Unfortunately, when the firing started, I didn't hear my number two initiate any target calling. There were some nervous coughs as The Bastards came under fire but no shouting or panic. I was still in warp but getting increasingly concerned. I asked for an update but the responses were sporadic and then our losses started. I finally dropped warp and demanded to know what was going on. We were now losing ships but someone else stepped in and started calling targets but it was clear the battle had turned decidedly against us.

Once we had regrouped it appeared that our secondary FC WAS shouting like a maniac but his vent client had packed up at the most unfortunate time.

These things happen and I should have stayed closer to the fleet.

After this excitement, I excused myself for a pee (yes, even in a pod, one needs a bit of privacy to complete one's ablutions...) - when I came back; a mere two minutes - we had lost two more ships!!

I thought they were joking but no, it was true and it appeared that two of the surviving ships had tried to rendezvous with the rest of the fleet and got caught by some fast point tackler on a gate. The joys of low sec space and being red and flashy.

I will try and hold in the pee for the duration of the roam from now on...

Interdict, who as ill and couldn't make the roam has been knocking out new forum signatures and I am the proud owner of a new sig.

Sorry that was a quick update but am already planning for ops and roams throughout the christmas period.

Incursion, Ransoms, Haikus and Explosions

2010-12-02T10:22:00.001Z

TFS Tibbs
Our Ransom Guru

The last post had my explaining to everyone that The Bastards have decided to increase our efforts in the ransoming department of our 'work'. Not to steal his thunder, I want to thank TFS Tibbs for organising this.

Ransomania - Stop the killing – make cash not war by TFS Tibbs

What: Ransomania - during the event contestants vie with each other to see who can ransom the most ships and capsules within a given timespan.
Who: Bastards only
When: Event will run from Tuesday 23rd November until Wednesday 22nd December
Where: Everywhere
Why: Ransoms are cool
How: See below

Rules:
Ransom everything that moves for one month
Results will be taken from the Bastards Ransom Board
Haikus – valued at estimated price of ship + fittings – or estimated implant value based on character age for capsules
All ransom attempts must use the Yarrsom Channel if possible
All prizes will be awarded after the event has finished

Prizes:
Pilot involved in the most ransoms:
First - 400m + shiny winners medal
Second - 200m
Third - Faction Frigate of choice

Highest ransom – Ransom will be matched – double your money:
Most ship ejections - 100m
Most solo ransoms - 100m
Most Haikus - 100m
Best Haiku – Mystery prize

Most ships lost by A Bastard during ransom attempts:
First – 3 ships replaced
Second – 2 ships replaced
Third – 1 Ship replaced

Early Starter Dramiels:
First ship ejection - Dramiel
First solo ransom - Dramiel
First Haiku - Dramiel

Additional Prizes:
(JManZA) 1st person to solo ransom a ship 2 hull classes above the one being piloted - ie ransom a BC in a Frigate class ship - Pirate cruiser of your choice
(Viginti) First Singing Ransom - 100 mil plus a T2 fit BC of choice (fitting as well) must sing more than just chorus. Here is the song -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU
(z0de) The 'can you make z0de laugh' challenge - 50m
(Arrhidaeus) Most unreasonable ransomee - TBC

The ransom story so far...
We've had some prizes go already (mainly the Dramiels) and the it has been a hoot. However, our KB also tells us that there are plenty of people out there who are not playing the game and would prefer to shoot it out for us. Which is fair enough - while we're not elite PvPers; we usually bring enough firepower to reduce most ships we tackle to cinder.

Incursion into my realm?

Now it was with some surprise that I found my pod interface was upgraded since my last post. I have to say that I do like it. The subtle changes to the module icons is a nice touch too.

Explosions!
Of course, what type of post would this be without some form of boat violence? We've been very active and busy the last couple of weeks and over a much larger area. With the promotion of TheHermit as a Director at The Bastards, (since Raelyf was stepping down due to work life commitments) - it was decided that expanding our area of interest was in order and Hermit (with a jump clone) investigated and then relocated to Placid. Other pirates followed suit with other pirates setting up satellite offices in Amarr space, Syndicate and others. I always wanted 'chapters' in all areas of space and with excellent pirate food such as this rattlesnake, fun fights such as this one and ransoms such as this delicious one; the current area seems like a viable choice though I have been told that there is another area...will keep you all posted.

Pirates like us have to move as prey will not come over to us (how unsporting!) so we're roaming around further and it is good.

Hulkageddon IV
Yes, Helicity Boson of Python Cartel has started to make arrangements for the fourth instalment and as ever, The Bastards will be attending. We did very well in the last three tournaments: In the third tournament for example, we came in the top five in single player kills with 2nd, 3rd and 4th place respectively for Hermit, Leroxee & Tibbs and coming fourth in the overall corporation rankings. This achievement is even more remarkable considering our rivals (our friends really) are mostly all alliances (e.g. TEST Alliance Please, 0rphanage, B A N E, Hydra Reloaded etc) and we're just a small corporation slipping in between the footsteps of these giant alliances.

Am keen to do better so am willing to listen to ideas from readers and importantly to take in donations of ships and isk to fund our cause. Remember, The Bastards live off the proceeds of piracy, we don't have renters, POS moon-goo, a piece of null-sec to rat in (what?), rich sugar daddies, etc. We try to maintain ourselves from ransoms, ransoms, ransoms, some extortions, outright theft and loot drops from ship explosions.

If someone donates a ship for HK IV to The Bastards; we will have your name on the ship and dedicate the exhumer kill to the pilot donating the ship. We might even leave a can with a message just from you to the unfortunate miner. Go on, you know you all want to!

Make ransoms, not war.

2010-11-22T17:34:00.001Z

Just a quick note: we've decided that for the next four weeks - The Bastards will be attempting to ransom anything that moves for a month. It is an internal competition; just to see how far we can go. We have always been active at ransoms but this time, there are prizes (isk related and fun ones too) for the most ransoms, funniest ransoms and meeting certain ransom challenges. Admittedly, this is a tall order and most cases we may end up blowing up someone who refuses to play but we're trying extra hard to make this type of transaction fun leading up to the Christmas period. So people, if you see us on your overview or bearing down on you - our first thoughts would be to get a ransom of any description: so get your haikus out or your karaoke voices tuned!

Road trip roam

2010-11-15T22:28:00.003Z

When you're travelling you always needs some tunes and what better than to dredge up all them old tunes your folks used to play when you were but a passenger on numerous forays to the seaside?

http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=EC7002366FF4F9A7

70s roam and some outstanding Haikus

2010-11-12T23:08:00.000Z

Just realised that I lost my 90s roam post from last week! Sad Panda but all I can say is that Pearl Jam rocks. The Bastards requested that we do a frigate based roam, get some ransoms and kills and then blow up horribly from a smart bombing battle ship. All these elements were present in the roam last night varying degrees.

Flash - what could have been..

So, it was 70s night. A much under-rated decade in my view: not into the fashion myself but the music rocked!

I believe big hair, bell bottomed trousers and floral patterns on shirts were the order of the day?

I put together a Youtube play-list, fired it up and then undocked in my Jaguar.

Here's the playlist:

http://www.youtube.com/my_playlists?p=67F56A02AE76126F

1. Disco Inferno - Trammps
2. Brick House - Commodores
3. Y.M.C.A - Village People
4. September - Earth, Wind and Fire
5. Stayin' Alive - Bee Gees
6. You're My First, My Last, My Everything - Barry White
7. Last Dance - Donna Summer
8. Flash Light - Parliament
9. War - Edwin Starr
10. Play that Funky Music - Wild Cherry
11. Kung Fu Fighting - Carl Douglas
12. Don't Fear The Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult

Other pilots had the their own and I will be collecting these into a compilation album.

Anyway, in frigates it meant we could cover a lot of ground quickly. We had scouts in all the neighbouring systems, including the jam packed area towards LXQ2-T where the Northern Coalition (NC) was assaulting the drone regions; packing the local star systems with their capsuleer swarm.

One of our scouts spotted a ship and shouted out:

"Rattlesnake! Rattlesnake on scan!" We thought he was on the happy juice so asked for him to confirm. The scout was 100% sure and started dropping probes to get closer. Our frigate fleet was scattered between five different systems all trying to sniff out a target but we all raced towards the penultimate destination. The Rattlesnake (a wonderful variant of the feared Scorpion battle ship) was running a mission of some description, it was possible that only ships equipped with after burners would function properly so checking the fleet disposition, there was only one ship that had a long point AND an afterburner. He was picked as the main tackler and he made himself ready.

Probes were now squirting back the information to our prober who fine tuned and narrowed down the location until he could get a warp in. The minutes are agonisingly slow with time sliding slowly past you as if it is in treacle.

"Hit. Hit." The prober warped in, cloaked and sneaky while the rest of us waited, impatiently.

"Got him. I am nine kilometres away. Warp to me now." The tackler took this as his cue and raced in, points all ready. I then sent in two more with webbers and scramblers just to be sure. The remaining pack of frigates clustered around the gate.

"Point." Said the first tackler.

"Point and web." Said the second. We had it. I ordered the rest of the fleet through and we warped, en mass towards the rattlesnake. He was being hit hard by us but the local Blood Raiders (what were they doing here I wondered?) were also taking a chunk out of him.

We wanted a ransom and I appointed Arrhidaeus as the ransom taker. He pulled the rattlesnake pilot into our dedicated ransom channel and started negotiations with the ransom set for 900 million isk; a nice sum for sure.

The shields on the rattlesnake dropped alarmingly and we also realised that this feared ship was fielding tech 1 drones. Not too scary.

As the negotiations were progressing, the rattlesnake dropped down into armour and I ordered us to start firing on the Blood Raiders who were swarming all over the rattlesnake and ourselves.

I kept an eye on the ransom channel and it wasn't going as expected: the pilot actually wanted to die so he could 'see a pretty explosion'. Quite odd but we obliged and popped his rattlesnake unfortunately, we also popped his pod as well.

A few minutes later as we were aligning to get out: Arrhidaeus caught a thrasher pilot and killed the ship. We grabbed the pilot and demanded a haiku in order to save him from a pod kill. He was too poor to pay us and we had no desire to kill him without some sort of payment (the rattlesnake pod kill was the result of an itchy trigger finger by Red Vegas). So Veliric stepped up and delivered the following:

Pirates are great,

they will decide my fate,

I hope this is not to late.

OK - it doesn't strictly follow the haiku path but a damn good try nonetheless. Everyone in the fleet decided that this was an excellent attempt. We cheered and applauded loudly. We let the pilot go after the haiku delivery and recorded this onto our ransomboard.

Meanwhile, our presence in Eifer was noted by a few people and we noticed combat scan probes appearing. They were quite far away and we weren't bothered by it - the chap probing for us wasn't doing a very good job.

However, a megathron soon appeared and Arrhidaeus excitedly pointed it. No fire was coming from the megathron and only a few desultory looking drones ambled out. The rest of the fleet warped in and we started to apply points. Wary of any smart bombs we maintained orbit but surely someone using drones wouldn't be stupid enough to have drones out as well?

Edwin Starr is a Brutor

With Edwin Starr's 'War!' playing out loud and proud ( a hit by Edwin Starr for the anti-Vietnam war song and a number one hit in 1970 in the USA). We detected two approaching ships and seconds later, dropping out of warp was a drake and a taranis from the same corp as the megathron. They all arrived approximately 50Km from the megathron, no doubt to get a view of the fight.

They then turned tail and ran, a wise decision considering they were facing over a dozen frigates.

No weapons' fire was detected from the megathron so we suspected strongly that it was smart bomb fitted (or had no ammo!). Arrhidaeus, unfortunately got too close and proved our suspicions. We maintained our wide orbit as only poor Arrhi was caught in the blast. We tried to ransom the battle ship but the pilot was having none of it and we sliced the megathron to pieces. The megathron pilot whipped his pod out as we circled around the wreck.

We tried to get his other friends to engage but it wasn't possible. Meanwhile, another one of our scouts had reported a mission running hurricane and a small cruiser gang roaming. We turned and raced towards our target. We passed a few juicy looking ships but they were all near the star gates and in frigates, tackling them would be a bad idea: the sentry guns would completely shred us.

Sard Caid was busy with friends in Atlar and was wise to our presence and waved to us when we joined in (the cad!).

However, while the fleet scattered to grab a mission running hurricane; my, Tibbs and Arrhidaeus managed to grab a rupture pilot. We demanded a haiku as payment for his release. After trying to figure out what a haiku was he offered this up:

Akala Rocker>>

Pirates have my ship

I call but no Concord comes

Please don't kill my ship

Not bad an attempt, we recorded it on our ransomboard (we thought it was worth 20M isk easy) and we let the chap go.

The 70s tunes were throbbing and grooving and it was a great night - so good that we had to run the frigates into the first camp we could see and attack it. I mean, the night had to end in fireworks - either an adversary or our own. Here's the result when frigates meet battle cruisers.

An excellent night and some damn fine tunes from The Bastards.

Road trip coming up with great tunes no doubt.

90s roam

2010-11-03T17:06:00.004Z

Hi all, we had a 90s roam and a full post will be made but I just want to say: Pearl Jam rocks.

Lazyboy - Facts Of Life - OOC

2010-11-03T16:56:00.002Z

Oldie but goodie; yes - I should be working but....

Guilty Pleasures

2010-10-29T14:46:00.001+01:00

I decided to inject some 'fun' to the sanctioned op for tonight; as typically, The Bastards always have a laugh as New Eden to us, should be a place of fun and opportunity. We don't have super serious 'CALL TO ARMS!!!' hysterical rubbish nor do we micro-manage our pilots. We want our pilots to enjoy themselves and thus I decided on flavouring our battle cruiser roam with....guilty pleasures. We all have them: power ballads from the 80s that you sing (with gusto) when you think you're alone but you would be a little bit embarrassed if this fact came out, or was somehow recorded and released to youtube....

Anyway, I logged on late as I had a dinner invitation suddenly spring up on me and what can one do when a lovely curry (Lamb roushini, niramish, paneer masala, sag aloo and bindi bhaji with stuffed paratha) is dangled in front of you?

Don't call me weak now...

So, with a full belly I finally got into the station to find that The Bastards had already set up a fleet and had gotten a jump on a brace of Los Chupacabras ships, Mexican Space Banditos indeed. We came out on top and it sounded like a superb engagement.

a-Ha

I undocked my hurricane to the chintzy keyboard tunes of 'Take On Me' blasting out of my speakers. This song was A-Ha's break out song that reached Number 2 in the UK charts and Number 1 in the US in 1985. Remembered for its revolutionary rotoscoping music video.

Feeling my mullet growing I ordered the fleet to set sail to Eifer. As we jumped we had reports of a large gang in Ardar and we then bumped into a battle ship gang from a corporation well known to us: The Gentlemen of Low Morale Fibre [SCONE], a spiffing bunch of renegades and rascals if I say so myself. It was decided to go into Ardar with our fleets backing each other up. The first potential targets of the night was a fleet of battle cruisers from Focused Intentions alliance, Los Chupacabras' erstwhile alliance mates, were seen loitering around Egmar and Taff and with some excitement, the Gentlemen raced in and settled on the main Taff to Egmar gate. However it looked like the FI chaps were tipped off and they docked up and logged off. Not too discouraged, the combined fleet moved down towards the Ardar system - a busy system with plenty of potential. As the leading elements of our fleet (led by the Gentlemen) went through into Ardar, they discovered a 'SCUM.' alliance almost twice the numbers of the Gentlemen were sitting on the gate. Both sides were criminal so gate guns would have stayed silent.

There was plenty of yellow boxing but the SCUM. alliance did not engage [SCONE] and instead jumped through and docked up a station.

With Vixen's 'Edge of a Broken Heart'** thumping away over the speakers we tried to entice the SCUM. alliance pilots to undock but they were not playing. However, since The Bastards were one jump away and holding on a gate, we *did* catch one SCUM straggler who popped and podded.

**Vixen's 'Edge of a broken heart' topped the UK and US charts in 1988. I also knew that another 80s icon, Richard Marx wrote the song...

So with visions of big hair, shoulder pads and lipstick (and this is the guys were were talking about) - the fleet roared into Molden Heath where we took leave of the Gentlemen; our Guilty Pleasure playlist being too much for our fellow pirates.

On arrival to Oddelulf, we spied a small grouping of ships: an ishtar, hurricane and falcon all clustered around the high-sec gate to Gefliven. TheHermit, Fiz and Hin, with T'Pau, Queen and The Bangles blasting away decided to have a go at these chaps. TheHermit opened up on the hurricane who leisurely yellow-boxed him back. The hurricane was down to armour and then jumped into high-sec. The gang then switched over to the ishtar and once again, the gang opened up. The ishtar pilot wasn't stupid - he probably knew that as soon as he returned fire we would jump in. So he sat there, tanking and (probably) enjoying our music. It was so loud that we could hear it clearly through our ventrilo speaker whenever anyone spoke....and we weren't even streaming it through.

However, once the ishtar was down to low-armour we knew he was getting ready to jump. He was teasing us. The cad.

Fate, obviously, had a sense of humour as roaring into sniping range was a lass called 'Ariartus' who volleyed the ishtar straight into hull and into a lovely explosion straight-after. I bet the ishtar pilot didn't see that one coming! However, Ariartus wasn't in our gang and therefore a viable target - there was no communications before hand and besides, he turned his guns onto Hinaj and knocked his ass down to hull too. All is fair in love and war so Fizixx raced over and tackled the tempest and killed him. The pod got away.

Heaven is a place called earth

With Alannah Myles now caressing our ears with 'Black Velvet' (classic one song hit from 1990 that won her a grammy award) - we started our journey back but amazingly we missed a dominix, a loki (NO!!!) and two drakes as we burned back home. Just a tad slow on the tackle by the fleet. I blame Belinda Carlisle for missing the loki as 'Heaven is a place called earth' certainly had all of us in a crazy sing-a-long. This track was Belinda Carlisle's only number one, topping the UK charts at number one for two weeks and the US billboard. A great song by the ex-Go-Go singer but cost us the loki. Worth it? Discuss.

As per usual, our fleets tend to see action as we come home and this time it was no exception. Initially we thought it was a camp on the Todi / Evati gate but it was actually a fight. Time to gate crash it but we jumped in too late and only managed to snag a BRICK SQUAD drake after chasing one of their devoters and harbingers as it raced off the gate. We did get nearly all of the loot that was left from the big fight though and it contained some nice gear, so bonus!

Oh, a shout out to Tibbs who linked in a special version of Bonnie Tyler's 'Total Eclipse of the heart' - a literal version. MUST SEE.

The Bastards Guilty Pleasures Playlist, 26th October 2010:

Take on Me - A-Ha
Edge of a broken heart - Vixen
Alone - Heart
We Built this City - Starship
Crockett's Theme (from Miami Vice) - Jan Hammer
Kyrie - Mr Mister
If you leave me now - Chicago
Hello - Lionel Richie

Livin' on a prayer - Bon Jovi
Total Eclipse of the Heart (Literal version)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIO2e0pYtSg - Bonnie Tyler

Hero - Bonnie Tyler
we are the champions - Queen
simply the best - Tina Turner
because the night - Patti Smith Group
the one i love - REM
i drove all night - Cyndi Lauper
the power of love - Jennifer Rush
heaven is a place on earth - Belinda Carlisle
is this love? - Whitesnake
black velvet - Alannah Myles
died in your arms - Cutting Crew
total eclipse of the heart - Bonnie Tyler
china in your hand - T'Pau
how you remind me - Nickleback
love hurts - Nazereth / Cher?
every rose has its thorn - Poison
nothing compares to you - Sinead Oconnor
drive - The Cars
broken wings - Mr Mister
hard to say im sorry - Chicago
the living years - Mike and the Mechanics
when i see you smile - Bad English
it must have been love - Roxette
eternal flame - The Bangles
Sweet Child o' mine - Guns 'n' Roses

A haiku to let you go and a tengu kill, everyone loves a tengu kill...

2010-10-22T16:59:00.001+01:00

One thing that I have been trying to encourage is the need to quickly set up a fleet and point the general mass of pirates in a certain direction and see the fireworks. Even if there's no sanctioned operation or roam planned, it is always good to be in a fleet when you're active. You never know what the night will bring and sometimes the difference between tackling a target and losing the opportunity is the time it that's to get a fleet running. So, as a rule, I always get a fleet running when I am online.

So, I found myself in Hadozeko but raced back to Evati having set up a fleet remotely with Red Vega, Fizixx, Interdict and Hinaj Katsu. A small battle cruiser gang and away we went. Targets presented themselves almost immediately but managed to squirm away. Large gangs (for low-sec anyway) rolled through the main travel pipe-line as well and avoided them as best as we could. In Ardar, Hinaj managed to tackle a hurricane and as soon as we entered local, I saw it was a chap called 'Kingwood'. A very good pilot and whom I had flown with a couple of weeks ago. He was tackled by Hinaj but was in danger of getting away so we raced in to assist. Now, you all need to understand that as pirates, we have everyone neutral by default. Kingwood was a legitimate target so we went after him.

Fortunately for us, he is a great sport and schooled us by slipping away. He opened up a private chat with me and we exchanged pleasantries. He asked to fleet up with us as he was solo and had missed a few targets, a bigger gang would be beneficial and Kingwood, to me is a known quantity: a very competent pilot who doesn't need too much micro-managing. I agreed but unfortunately, as we were arranging this, Red Vegas, moving ahead got caught by a large sensor boosting battle ship gang camping in Hadozeko. We moved off the gate to avoid this gang; these chaps would cause us immense damage and it wasn't what I wanted.

Reversing course back towards Evati as we had intelligence that some of the local night-life were out and about but upon arriving, they all docked up. We did manage to add TFS Tibbs to the gang. We all went to our next destination and on landing at the gate, a prophecy class ship dropped out of warp too. I didn't hesitate and ordered it to be pointed. Kingwood and I jumped through to ensure that we would be able to catch it if the prophecy pilot tried to escape.

Oddly, the pilot didn't jump but tried to tank the damage for a while. We assumed he was up to something. We had to put him down, quickly. He blew up and his pod warped away and on examining the wreck, we discovered a full functioning cynosural field generator and liquid ozone. I wonder if the pilot was trying to call in capital class reinforcements? We will never know.

The next two kills was first a M34N corp Brutix and the second a hurricane that was blowing haulers. The last fight I was close, I was down to 6% hull but Kingwood came to my rescue.

After the near death experience, I scattered the fleet to cover more ground. Interdict and Fizixx had spotted an absolution in Hrondedir while I pushed on ahead and into Aralgrund.

When I arrived in Aralgrund, there was a Tengu and a Vagabond orbiting the gate. Sweet, I thought. I glanced down at the tactical map and found that my nearest fleet mate, Fizixx, was three jumps away. The prize was the Tengu but I had to stay alive and keep them close to the gate long enough to for fleet mates to tackle them.

So I decided that I was to point the vagabond and start moving away from the gate, drawing both the Vagabond and the Tengu away from the star gate. I dropped cloak, hit the 'battle stations' and puckered up. The warp scrambler spun up and grabbed the Vagabond and my 220mm auto canons chattered away. The Tengu and Vagabond both opened up on me and it was a grim contest. I kept an eye on the placement of both ships. When the rest of the fleet came in; if either the Tengu or Vagabond were close to the gate - they could jump and escape. We didn't have enough ships to cover both sides of the gate. So I had to manoeuvre and lure the Tengu and Vagabond far enough that they could be pointed and webbed without being able to get back to the gate before they got destroyed.

My shields were holding but the incoming damage was high - the Tengu was packing and I was feeling it. I risked a pulse on the micro warp drive and surged another 3000 meters from the gate. The Vagabond and Tengu followed. I repeated, grimacing as my signature radius ballooned to the size of a small moon. I moved away another 3000 odd meters and my two assailants matched my move. My ship was dying. I pulsed the micro warp drive once more and moved off to almost 15 kilometers from the star gate, the Tengu and Vagabond following.

They were both now too far away to instantly jump through the gate. I had them where I wanted them.

Now to survive, I thought to myself.

The fleet was incoming. Fizixx jumped in. I was down to half armour and unable to boost my shield any more - my cap booster being unable to inject more energy boosters; poor cap use management by me! Interdict came in and then both Kingwood and Red Vegas. I finally died but heard the sweet words of my secondary FC, Interdict announce:

"Tengu pointed and webbed."

The vagabond bolted and the rest of the fleet poured the fire on. The Tengu pilot added to his woes when he shot at Fizixx (who wasn't a criminal nor did he initiate any hostile action) - so the sentry guns; silent and brooding suddenly woke up and exercised their programmed duties.

The pilot fought on but the outcome was as pre-determined as my own fate. The Tengu burst open and there were cheers from the fleet as the pod pilot streaked out of his burning wreck. Ironically, Fizixx who held fire until right near the end got the kill mail.

I congratulated the fleet and asked that Interdict continue in his FC duties and maintain the roam, it was a successful night so far and I doubt it would end. I had to get back to ship up and raced home. Through the home systems, there were lots of targets and I called them out one by one.

A mission running cyclone in Todi and a cyclone on the Evati / Todi gate and a rookie in a thrasher. All available to the eager pirate. A scout was sent out to probe the mission runner while I decided to go and get the thrasher.

The thrasher pilot was quite green and was an easy catch and posed no real threat. I invited him into our ransom channel as I wanted to extract some money. Meanwhile, our scout was dropping probes for the cyclone next door.

The Bastards Ransom Channel MOTD:

This is a stick up! You are being ransomed.

Turn off ALL weapons. Prepare your funds for transfer.

Singing ransoms may be demanded.

Read the Bastard Pass for more info on prices.

flashfresh > Sityola<-- 1M isk please

Sityola > ?

Sityola > ok

flashfresh > Now please.

flashfresh > 1 million isk and we let you go. Simple.

Sityola > how trade?

flashfresh > Right click on my name.

flashfresh > Then, GIVE MONEY.

Sityola > It's OK?

flashfresh > Where is the money?

flashfresh > I see no money.

Sityola > 1 sec

Sityola > trial

Sityola > i cant :-(

flashfresh > Can you sing?

Sityola > i am on trial

flashfresh > No seriously. CAN YOU SING?

Sityola > No.

flashfresh > Or give me a haiku?

Sityola > wrote that u cant trade because i am on trial version

flashfresh > GIVE ME A HAIKU then.

flashfresh > A three line poem.

Minutes pass

flashfresh > Where is my poem?

Sityola > poem xD

Sityola > you from ?

flashfresh > YOU GIVE ME A POEM!

He then offered:

Sityola > i see a litle pig

Sityola > i owned a liitle pig

Sityola > that epic final

Stunned silence

flashfresh > OK......

flashfresh > that, is er. OK.

flashfresh > for a first time haiku.

Sityola > i can be free ?

flashfresh > I don't know what it means but yes. Please leave this system and be safe.

Sityola > haiku its jap ?

flashfresh > Yes.

flashfresh > You are free to go.

It's OKAY and I needed something for our ransom board.

As this was going on, the mission running cyclone was probed out and Interdict went for the tackle. Embarrassingly, my XO hesitated on the gate, got confused and the gate guns killed him. Then a second cyclone started to buzz Fizixx around the Todi gate in Evati and then proceeded to kill Fizixx after our pirate colleague, in half shield, decided to tackle him.

I had re-docked and grabbed an arbitrator and tackled the second cyclone under sentry fire while he was picking through the loot. While the other's piled in. We killed it and recovered some of Fizixx's own loot.

By the time I docked up for a break, what was a quick roam with friends ended up being a long, highly enjoyable night of ransoms and explosions and loot. Forming up a fleet just to get things moving was the right idea. However, I decided that I needed to sleep and called it a night, passing the FC role and bidding everyone a good night.

There's always a bigger dog.....so find a puppy and kick it instead.

2010-10-20T15:15:00.003+01:00

We decided that we want a slightly heavier gang last night: battle ship class with Vig insisting on showing off his damnation in all its glory. A mixed gang of fleet members assembled eager to pillage and plunder and we undocked from our home station, scattering the haulers and passer-bys. Evati was quite busy last night and we were confident that we would get something. We tried sparring with some of the local denizens but failed to grab anyone: the battle ships we were in had much slower locking times and the enemy battle cruiser gang we had spotted easily made distance on us and slipped away.

Not disappointed we started to roll towards Ardar way, though we could see that Lady Shaniqua was unavailable and therefore, the locals would be out and about. With our scouts and friends moving ahead we sprung a trap where a criminal gang were camping the (usually camped) Klogori / Orfrold gate. Our megathron got himself tackled and pointed an enemy myrmidon. Then his friends all piled in and it was our queue to jump in. As we started to land at the gate, our megathron pilot told us that the enemy battle cruisers were disengaging and moving away. He tried to keep his point but his slower ship was unable to keep range and the myrmidon escaped. Cursing our luck with a second potential engagement not actually hotting up we pushed down further towards Amamake.

A fleet of 50 or so craft were reported in various channels that they had tackled a carrier. We decided that to gate crash this would be fun BUT it would result in our almost certain fiery demise. It was not my intention to suicide us so I turned the fleet around. Determined to get some kills we went back to Evati and discovered to our delight that there was a new camp on the Todi / Evati gate.

Joy!

With our excited chatter still reverberating in my ears, I sent in a battle ship to get their attention. As the megathron rumbled towards the gate, looking to all intents and purposes an auto-piloting ship, the pilot quickly called out that he was being yellow-boxed.

Everyone else in their battle ships tensed in anticipation.

"They've red-boxed me! One, two, three of them!"

That was our cue and we moved in; determined to get them. The align and warp felt very slow. I tried to mentally push my typhoon to get into warp quicker, to turn faster to get there before hell froze. As we ambled into warp, we wondered whether we would be successful on this third attempt at hostile engagement.

As we landed, I noticed the tell tale warp out signatures of half a dozen ships.

Some of our ships landed just a bit quicker than me but their locking times were too slow and the enemy battle cruisers slipped away. Third time unlucky in the night but all we could do was to move on and seek combat and loot elsewhere.

The fleet meandered our way towards another hotspot: Akora and one of our forward scouts spotted a camp. However, local had one or two suspicious looking fellows in there and I feared that our presence was already announced. Sure enough, the trap was sprung, our forward scout & bait was red-boxed and we went in, the slow align of the battle ship was beginning to grate on me; so used to the swifter cruiser and battle cruiser hulls. We landed and jumped into the next system but the camp had cleanly disengaged and moved off. Our scout had a point but couldn't keep up, even with the slowest ship.

Fourth time unlikely for tonight. Yes, piracy is feast or famine but this was the worst of all events: plenty of targets, plenty of opportunity just a bit unlucky in seizing the opportunities presented. It was also possible that we had a large and intimidating gang, all flashy and angry and word was probably moving ahead of us.

However, The Bastards are a stoic bunch and shrugged, it was part of the lifestyle we had chosen and it wasn't meant to be easy. If it was, why would we bother?

So we pushed down towards Metropolis, another good area to snag travellers or to encounter hostile gate camps. With out 8 battle ships and some light support, we had no logistics, it was deemed big enough to handle most of the usual encounters that we were used to.

Our luck changed for the worse however. Let me recall in full agonising detail.

Naughty Spawn in his zealot was ahead and was moving slowly towards Ennur. I had split the fleet up to cover more ground when Naughty Spawn informed us, calmly that he had encountered a camp.

"This is N.S. Location: Offikatlin gate in Tabbetzur. Enemy camp encountered."

Another camp, another opportunity, come on lady luck, fifth time lucky? I thought to myself.

"Am holding cloak. I see a T3 cruiser and a couple of other ships. One Maelstrom."

That sounded good and I moved the fleet to intercept the camp.

"All ships move full speed to Tabbetzur gate in Offikatlin." I was hoping that Naughty Spawn would be able to hold on long enough. I ordered him to re-approach the gate and jump back to us. There was a lot of interference on the reply back but it appeared that there were more ships landing on him at the Tabbetzur gate in Offikatlin.

Red Vegas in his hurricane (we weren't all in battle ships) - rolled ahead just as Naughty Spawn started swearing. His zealot had lost cloak and was pinned and being cut to pieces on the other side of the gate. The bulk of the fleet had not even joined me and Red Vegas in Tabbetzur but we couldn't let one of our own go unpunished. So Red Vegas went ahead to the Tabbetzur gate followed by me in the trash can shaped typhoon.

As he arrived, some of the enemy camp had come jumped into us in Offikatlin - no doubt to prevent Naughty Spawn from jumping back out and escaping. Instead they encountered an angry Red Vegas who promptly lit up an enemy maelstrom. I joined in.

The rest of the fleet were now landing around me.

"Hold on Naughty Spawn. We're almost there."

"Naughty spawn is down. There's a horde of ships this side. Be advised, large number of ships coming through."

There was a flash on the gate, and another and another and my overview started to fill up. Not used to seeing strategic cruisers, I refreshed my view and yes, indeed the enemy camp was made up of almost all T3 strategic cruisers: at least three tengu and one proteus class ships with a logistics ships thrown in for good measure. It was 13 versus 9.

Friendly (9)
Dominix
Megathron
Megathron
Typhoon
Typhoon
Typhoon
Damnation
Hurricane
Rifter (yes, tis true)

Hostile (13)
Dominix
Loki
Maelstrom
Proteus
Tengu
Tengu
Tengu
Tengu
Absolution
Sacrilege
Drake
Guardian

We had been dealt our hand and had no option but to play.

"Hmmm, looks hot but let's do this." Someone said.

This is why I love The Bastards: our motto is 'Overwhelming DPS then GTFO' but 'Stand your ground' is equally applicable. No one was scared or frozen into inaction as we opened fire, fully aware of what the capricious Gods of war had sent us.

The sentry guns opened fire on us to add to our woes.

The first to go down was Naughty Spawn, helplessly cut-off and alone on the other side. Red Vegas's hurricane, was second to die though he still kept on firing even as his ship was cut to small pieces. If Red Vegas could have strapped on guns to his pod, he would have stayed.

The primary was one of the tengus, a mistake by me but there wasn't much choice until the guardian decloaked. We set him to primary and nailed him. The fight wasn't the usual fast cut and thrust exchange of fire, our remote repair work was working but they were slowly grinding their way through us. The sentry guns were peppering our ships and each minute meant that we would be in greater danger. A minute or so later, Tibbs went down, yelling curses. Interdict was next to me, repairing my armour as I was repairing his but the damage was creeping towards overwhelming and Interdict saluted the fleet and punched his capsule out. His ship, spurting fire and gas and raining out crew escape pods burst open.

We all died except Fenneck who managed to get his ship out.

The last to go was Viginiti who's damnation had a huge tank and managed to hold on in the face of massive firepower. In fact, he managed to tank and jump through into Offikatlin but was caught by another ship who was obviously tasked with snagging those trying to withdraw from the fight. If it wasn't for this ship, Vig may have gotten away. However Vig's damnation, already seriously mauled and out of capacitory finally died.

Fleet Fight Summary

A good fight but as per title, we were still quite fired up so we grabbed new ships and continued to hunt. We chased a stabber fleet issue and sleipnir as well as a hurricane and the chase ended up in Ingunn where, out of boredom we started to pop the haulers that infested the area. We caught bits of pieces as well (a faction fitted stealth bomber, a hurricane) but the high light were the noobships. Fun and a nice way to relax after having been beaten up ourselves.

The drops were disappointing obviously, but one pirate did snag some cargo hold expander IIs. A nice bonus.

We also met up with an old sparring partner: General Dogzbody. Dogz, amazingly, is now not classed officially as a criminal/pirate and therefore not flashing a bright angry red in people's overviews. I actually did a double-take as I thought I had the wrong person. He was a respectable -10 or near to it for a while, so he must have done some serious repenting to be acceptable to CONCORD. Strange seeing him like that but times change I suppose. He was also out of M34N alliance but am sure still blue to them. Being positive sec does have advantages mind: now, pilots cannot just engage him on gates and stations in low sec as Dogz has sentry guns supporting him.

Being on the end of sentry fire is no fun but a hazard for the pirate that must be considered.

We chatted to see whether we should try and solo him but I laughed it off. Tackling his maelstrom with our hurricanes on a gate and Dogz having sentry fire support was foolish and not profitable to us. If he was flashy, then maybe but Dogz isn't stupid.

No big deal though. We exchanged pleasantries in local and I took the fleet home - eager to get a shower and some sleep. It was a fun night ending with the proverbial kicking of the puppies after getting your own arses kicked but I would prefer not to meet another T3 gang for a while!

All in a day or two with the Bastards....

2010-10-12T18:24:00.001+01:00

Day One
Small fleet action is where most of the fun is a fleet of no more than say a dozen vessels is the ideal number in my view. It allows all fleet members to play a real part in any engagement yet feel safe with the strength in numbers. The Bastards love to solo as well so it is a nice mix of action for us in any week. There are no typical weeks in The Bastards!

I was busy with tedious administrative tasks when my personal communicator flashed. I checked the call and linked into the current fleet chat. It was JManza and he had a fleet going with imminent ship violence looming just ahead. Administrative work can put me in a cranky mode and the night was young. I agreed and found myself out in a small fleet of four battle cruisers. A nice number with Mortol Strike stepping up as fleet commander. Within a minute we were called in and landed among ships from the Chupacabras corporation. They weren't even our nominated target as we were racing in to assist on a tackle in the next system but decision was made to open up on these chaps. The Chupas gang was mainly drake class battle cruisers, while we had hurricanes. They had six (x5 drakes and x1 scorpion) and we had four (three hurricanes and a drake) - good odds for The Bastards.

First down was a Chupas Hurricane; it had the highest DPS and had to go down to give us a chance of holding the field. Since our target was a flashing criminal, the sentry guns remained silent. However, despite the lower dps from the drakes, our own Red Vegas went down, her guns still firing as his ship was cut in half. JManza followed soon after as he ordered his ship to ram an enemy drake just as his reactors blew. Mortol and I remained and concentrated on the Lou Reed, who was in a drake. One of the Chupas had returned (Atmos TA) in a new ship, a hound since they are basing themselves in Evati.

Both Red Vegas and JManza had declared that they were just getting into a new ship and waiting for Scotty to let them undock. I love these fights when both sides can come back in new ships. JManza and Red Vegas were already on scan and returning to the fray. Since Evati is a busy system, there are plenty of ships coming and going and it was with some surprise that Mortol and I were joined by a vagabond pilot, Tybele who decided that the Chupas were more interesting targets than us. He added his firepower to the fight and I wasn't going to stop him!

However, Mortol Strike, was jammed and so was I by the scorpion - being the only two Bastards left on the field. We should have both hit our MWDs and burned towards the scorpion (also getting us out of harm's way) but with us both unable to lock, Mortol was soon destroyed, followed by myself just as Red Vegas and JManza returned to assist us. Most of the Chupas ships then safely withdrew under the cover of the Scorpion's highly effective ECM. All except Giampolo in his drake who was pointed, quite handedly by Tybele our friendly positive security status enabled pilot. This of course, spelled doom for the unfortunate drake. By this time, Red Vegas, JManza and Mortol had come back in new ships and with Captain Blackler also in the frame (having raced the seven odd jumps to reach us) - we cut the drake to pieces.

Despite our heavier losses, we had the field of wreckage to loot and made good on some of our losses, taking the sting out of the defeat. Nothing cheers up a pirate than loot (and ransom money) - so we cleared the field and continued to roam now that the Chupas had withdrawn entirely from the field. With a much strengthened fleet we roamed on but it appeared that the fireworks for the night had already been used up. We caught a hurricane in Hadozeko and an apparently afk helios on a gate.

I then docked up for the night, thankful for the excitement and loot. It was then back to some more administrative work. The Bastards, as much as I want it to, doesn't run by itself but sometimes, I wish it did!

Day Two

Still finding myself working through recruitment emails and stuff, my personal communicator went off again and it was Mortol Strike this time; a fleet was rolling out - a mixed HAC and BC fleet and since I was around, would I be interested?

Of course, I was! Quickly finishing up my work, I raced to the hangar and grabbed a cyclone. Haven't flown one in an age and it looked tempting to go out and bash someone's head in it. The fit was inspired by Lady Shaniqua, a fearsome proponent of the solo/duo-style of play.

Mortol was the fleet commander this time round and the Red Vegas was ahead, looking for targets. Only two jumps out from Evati, Red Vegas announced that there was something 'fun' in local.

"I see a myrmidon class ship on scan. He looks like he is towards the belt. Going in."

The rest of the fleet was now on the gate, ready to jump in and assist.

"This is Red. Myrmidon is 100 clicks away. Am burning towards him." He said. "Myrm has spotted me and....and is turning towards me. We may have some fun here."

It read bait all over it to be honest but we were confident.

"I have him pointed and spinning up my 425mm on him." We offered words of encouragement to Red Vegas but we were waiting for more.

"Hmmm, his armour tank is holding." Observed Red Vegas, not sounding too concerned but we could imagine him furrowing his eye brows as he overloaded his guns. Then he shouted.

"Local spike! Local spike! All members from the same corp! Here we go..." We all jumped in even before Red had finished his sentence as Mortol had us all primed.

We jumped into warp and raced towards Red's current position just as the myrmidon's friends came the other way. Part of the excitement of such encounters in low-sec is that you have no idea what the other side is bringing in. Certainly, the corporation was new to us.

Landing in a loose cluster around Red Vegas, we saw the enemy myrmidon battling it away with Red Vegas' hurricane. Drones and neutralisers were all over Red's battle cruiser while he battered away with the awesome 425mm auto canons. We all locked the myrmidon just as his friends arrived: two vagabonds initially. Secondary and tertiary targets were called. The vagabonds were fast and slip in between our ships. The enemy myrmidon, held out bravely against our ships just as his remaining friends arrived in seven frigates: two vengeance assault frigates, two crusaders, one wolf and two punisher class frigates along with the two vagabonds. This was going to be interesting.

I threw my neutralisers onto one of the vagabonds in an effort to destroy his capacitor and thus, hopefully slow him down but the nimble cruiser had enough momentum to slip away. However, the frigates and HACs were dangerous and Nashh, spitting fire and fury went down in flames. We took revenge and blew the tackled myrmidon into tiny pieces. Our drones screamed out of their bays and chased some of the slower frigates down but my 220 mm auto canon, tracked and then blew one of the hardy punishers to pieces. Then the second vagabond, who put in the killing blow, was destroyed in a concentrated salvo as it got too close to us. The first of the two vengeance assault craft then went down, JManza's zealot and his holy lasers burning the plucky craft to cinders. I took out the second vengeance with a well timed shot as the craft raced across my kill zone. The last punisher was despatched just as the remaining enemy fleet dis-engaged from the fight. We had no way of catching the last vagabond or the two crusaders and all three withdrew cleanly. To be honest, the fight was never in doubt due to the placement of the frigates - they all came in too close to the our larger battle cruiser class ships where their size and lower signature radius meant nothing.

An excellent confrontation with us holding the field and therefore the pick of the loot. Love it.

Unfortunately, we pushed our luck too much and got walloped by the Minnie miltia on the gate an hour or so later. Don't you hate the feeling when you have a ship tackled on a gate, you're seeing it's armour flaking off, you're just about tanking the sentry guns (another 10 seconds!!) and you see the stargate flash and flash and flash as ship after bloody ship hurtles into the fight?

In hindsight, we should have been more cautious and not initiated hostile action in sight of the sentry guns as soon as we landed but our blood was still up - what can you expect?

I still love it though and went back to Evati whistling a happy tune. Low-sec, who doesn't love it?

Faction Cruiser Roam and Death of Capsuleer?

2010-10-06T14:57:00.001+01:00

Faction Roam!
We decided on a faction ship roam last night as we were celebrating our third birthday as a corporation. The actually birthday I think is sometime in early September but people were too busy to organise. So, it was with interest when the pirates pulled out all their bling ships for the roam. I saw Republic Fleet Stabbers, Comets, Firetails, Dramiels, Navy Omen and other bits of kit not normally seen in our fleet. We didn't have any of the larger hulls either - a machariel would have been a nice addition.

So we went for a stroll and it was a quiet night, snagging a couple of frigates (and a hauler) until we went into null sec. We did pass up two chances of engagement with a roaming gang made up of a drake, curse, rook, hurricane, phantasm and vagabond. They were not criminals either so am quite sure our frigate/cruiser gang would have suffered serious losses. A well fit hurricane would have mashed up all our frigates for example.

We had Arrhidaeus in his super tanked Navy Augoror (he killed a hauler solo) as bait but we ran into some superior opposition just as we were leaving Etherium Reach, losing the bait ship. Nashh Kadavr following behind was also caught, losing his Gila.

On return, I reflected that a mixed up fleet like ours of different faction cruisers introduced too many strengths and weaknesses and thus, seriously cut down on our effectiveness. The fleet lacked DPS and any force multipliers. We lost our pilgrim early one as well. Many a time I wished that I had a fleet of hurricanes with support instead. No matter, it was a bit of fun and it will be time to put our serious game faces on for the next operation. Back to the venerable battle cruiser class.

Out of interest, I would be very interested to see if there are any corporations / gangs who regularly fly with faction ships. Comment here with your thoughts if you don't mind.

Capsuleer - Save it!

It looks like the well liked Apple App, 'Capsuleer' is doomed. Roc had posted this on the EVE-Online forums and it has generated a lot of responses.

The infamous Nashh Kadavr has started up a petition here and anyone who feels strongly enough should go there and comment. I have signed it and I support the petition but have never used the app as I am an android phone user here. I do understand how important this applications are.

Many people have extolled the virtues of this application and it seems to be indispensable for 'Life Outside of EVE'. I get by with 'Aura' on the Android. There were plans to port the app over to Android but only if there was financial support. The

Great pity that it appears to be doomed now but there *IS* a paypal donate button available on the website (http://capsuleer.evesuite.com/) - am unsure whether enough people donated but for those who said they are willing to pay and just didn't get round to it...I think this is a sad case of barn door + bolted horse...

Poor show by CCP too but looking at the posts, it doesn't appear that CCP promised anything to anyone, despite their enthusiasm and support. A cynic could also say that EVE-GATE may be seen by CCP as the replacement for all things EVE outside of the game.